It's Kind of a Funny Story
by december bird
Summary: Ashton Boarding School, meet the World. The World... just try not to break anything.
1. The Applications

**The Basics.**

Human name (first and last):

Name of the land they represent:

Gender:

Age (in human years- must be of high school age):

Sexual orientation:

Height/weight:

Hair/eye color, style, ect:

What language(s) they speak:

Personality (in detail, not just adjectives please):

Likes (optional):

Dislikes (optional):

Worst fear:

Best attributes:

Worst flaws:

Their approach to school and their favorite class:

Any other important info (optional):

**The Questionaire.**

(This portion of the app was stolen from ~Nate516 from deviant art. I just made minor changes.)

1) Who are you?

2) Do you have any bad habits?

3) What is your favorite food?

4) Are you a virgin?

5) Have you ever killed anyone?

6) Do you hate anyone?

7) Do you have any secrets?

8) What is your favorite season?

9) What's you idea of a fun day?

10) Are you nice or mean?

11) Are you social or shy?

12) What do you think of your parents (aka, whoever owns you and/or raised you)?

13) What's your weakness?

14) How long can you stay under water?

15) What do you do on a regular daily basis?

16) Do you love someone?

17) What's your favorite band(s)?

18) Ever worn a dress?

19) Willingly?

20) Ever kissed anyone?

21) ...Of the same gender?

22) If you could have any super power, what would it be?

23) Anyone loves you?

24) What's your favorite color(s)?

25) When was the last time you cried?

26) Are you crazy?

27) Do you consider yourself a happy or a down person?

28) What is your current occupation? And how are you at that job?

29) Do you want a hug?


	2. The Cast

**Main cast:**

_Girls:_

Georgia (Belle Jones) Owned by Ayai

Berlin (Avery Herrmann) Owned by 2swords2

Sicily (Emillia Vargas) Owned by Italy Lover99

_Guys:_

Alaska (Nikolai Braginski-Jones) Owned by me

Tokyo (Kyoya Honda) Owned by yukihime211

Serbia (Milos Nemanic) Owned by Simonana

Thanks to everyone who sent in an application, and congratulations to those who were chosen! Your applications greatly amused me, and I mean that in a good way. I'm going to try to update at least every other week, but I can't make any promises. But the first chapter is already in progress, so it should be up pretty soon! And if you ever get confused as to who's who, just come to this page. However, with so few people, I'm hoping that it will soon get to the point where you don't need to look anymore.

I've also decided to include everyone else to be in the supporting cast. If you would rather that I not use them at all, please let me know. Just as fair warning, these guys will not have as much screen time as our main characters, but I still like them and could certainly use them all!

**Supporting cast (all human):**

_Girls_

Sydney Jones. Owned by InsanityAintOptional

Cassandra Densen. Owned by Maiya123

Maria Sanchez. Owned by Maiya123

Clara de la Cruz. Owned by chibibeanie (we already had a Maria, so I'll have to use her middle name if that's alright.)

_Guys:_

Castel Fernandez Carriedo Kirkland. Owned by Nurse Steggy

Emilio Santos. Owned by royal-tru-orange


	3. The Trouble with Immortals

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. I also don't own Sicily, Georgia, Serbia, Tokyo, or Berlin- I'm just borrowing them. However, I do own Alaska.**

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 1**

When the six personifications officially met for the first time, it was at the airport. All of them had just gotten of the planes after their flights from their respective homelands, and headed towards the sign with a huge UN symbol which was perched next to a man in a business suit. He checked his watch every so often, looking down at some papers then back up to see if he could spot any of the teenagers who were supposed to meet him there.

It was part of a project. The UN had sent out notices all over the world asking for any leaders who would be willing to volunteer their young personifications to go to boarding school for a year. It was supposed to bring about world peace or some other such nonsense, but the real reason was that the UN officials were beginning to worry that some of the nations and other immortals were beginning to suffer because they were spending too much time with each other and not enough time with humans. And what better way to find out if they were right then to send six of them to school away from home?

Did the kids have any say in all this? Of course not! They were not nearly capable of making decisions like that on their own. At least, that was the theory. They had had some trouble coming up with leaders to volunteer their charges, but in the end they had exactly what they were looking for.

All six of them arrived at the meeting spot at exactly the same time, and froze when they saw each other. There was a moment of tense silence as each of them stared at the others, wondering whether it was alright to speak.

A little brown-haired girl broke the silence, "The mean lady at customs wouldn't let me bring any oranges into the country! Could we go get some? Please, please, please?" Sicily (Emillia) pouted slightly, going into full-on puppy dog face mode, hands clasped under her chin.

"I have a peach if you'd like one," another girl said, holding out the fruit. She had an obvious Southern accent which made Sicily blink in amazement before quickly forgetting about it and shaking her head.

"No, no thanks. I'd really like an orange, and I know they have them at the food stands, and I think I'll go into withdrawals if I don't get one molto rapidamente!"

Georgia (Belle) just shrugged and munched happily on her peach.

Sicily tilted her head to one side. "Why did they take away my oranges, but not your peaches?"

"I live in this country, and I'm real good friends with the folks at customs," Georgia replied.

The boy next to her gave a little half-smile. "Really? I live here too, but I had to spend five hours in security while they went through my stuff with a magnifying glass." He sounded genuinely confused as to why this would be so. Georgia opened her mouth to comment, but then thought better of it and decided to let Alaska (Nikolai) figure it out on his own someday.

Sicily started to get back to the topic of oranges, but she was cut off by the nation next to her. "Bre, I thought the flight was never going to end! Plus we had to make two stop-overs," commented Serbia (Milos).

"Hai," agreed the lone Asian of the group. Tokyo (Kyoya) adjusted his bags on his shoulder, saying, "The flight attendants were hospitable, but it is a great relief to have finally arrived." He fidgeted a bit and continued politely. "I hope that all of us will be able to get along well and make this year a productive one." He had to remind himself several times to look at them while he spoke so that it wouldn't look like he was talking to the carpet. A few of the others shrugged at his words, some ignored him, but Berlin (Avery) gave a curt nod.

"I am in complete agreement," she said. "And in order for this to work, it is important that everyone knows how necessary it is to be responsible and careful. The UN is a well-respected institution of peace, and anyone who represents it must do so with-"

Sicily reached over and clamped a hand over Avery's mouth. "Um, I think we get it." Avery pulled away, somewhat embarrassed, but stopped talking anyway. So much for trying to get the others to be responsible.

"I'm hungry," Serbia interjected absently.

"Ditto." Alaska said. His focus shifted to Sicily. "If you're gonna get your stupid oranges, go ahead now. Hurry, so we can leave and get something to eat on the way there."

"We could always eat here," Tokyo suggested, gesturing towards an advertisement for a cafe down the hall.

Milos shook his head. "As a general rule, airport food is almost as bad as McDonalds."

Sicily huffed and grabbed the arm of the person closest to her- which just happened to be the aforementioned tall, muscular German girl. "Berli-" She quickly stopped herself from calling the older girl by her city name so loudly, then corrected, "Avery, would you go get some oranges with me?"

Berlin hesitated, considering the consequences of saying no. She came to the conclusion that it simply wasn't worth it, and nodded. "Ja, I suppose..." Inwardly, she hoped this wasn't the beginning of the end. _Those Italians can be quite clingy_, she thought. _I really don't want to end up babysitting her like Ludwig did Feliciano... _But since this seemed harmless enough, she let Sicily drag her away towards the airport gift-shop.

"Ah, I do not mean to be rude..." Four pairs of eyes turned on Tokyo, who instantly flinched when he realized he was the center of attention again. "But does anyone know where I can charge my computer? It lost a lot of battery power during the flight here."

"Yeah, I think so." Figuring that he was probably going to be there for a while, Alaska dropped his stuff and plopped down on the bench. He pointed over to a wall not far away. "I think there's an outlet or something over there." He smirked. "Careful though. I hear the circuitry in these places sucks, and it would be a shame if someone was hospitalized for electrocution on the first day." From his tone, Tokyo decided that Alaska wouldn't have thought it a shame at all.

Regardless, he nodded awkwardly anyway. "Ah, I will remember that..." Glancing back once or twice as if expecting an attack, he took his computer and cords with him, leaving the rest of his bags with the others, and headed towards the outlets.

Georgia rolled her eyes, taking a seat next to her younger brother on the bench. "You haven' changed a bit." She turned to Serbia, who was watching Tokyo's retreat and laughing to himself at the scene. "You're Serbia, right?"

As soon as her words pulled him out of his thoughts, Milos realized that the they were the only ones left at the moment. He shrugged then answered, "Yes, I'm Serbia. Nice to meet you," with a smile. He put his own belongings on the growing pile, then took a seat on the other side of Alaska.

"'Sup." Alaska gave him a sloppy salute. "I think we met before, a long time ago when I used to live with Papa Russia. This is my sister, Georgia."

Honestly, Serbia didn't really remember having ever met Nikolai, but he had met so many people in the past that he supposed it was entirely possible. "I don't remember that at all! But it doesn't really matter." He fished into his messenger bag and pulled out a battered manila folder, then began to flip through the pages. "I spent three hours working on this stuff on the plane. I wonder what the UN would do if they didn't constantly have paperwork that needed to be filled out? Bre, it's ridiculous."

He paused at the section which showed the profiles of the other personifications. Though most of them had met before, some of the six had never laid eyes on each other, so in the folder was some basic information on each of them- the name of the place they represented, their human name, and a few basic statistics about their land and people. As if it really mattered who had the largest population density. Other than their names and pictures, most of the information was quite unhelpful, and Serbia found that it was also entirely uninteresting.

He closed the folder and dropped it next to him, not really caring what happened to it. "My name is Milos Nemanic. I recommend that you remember that!"

"You can call me Belle if you'd like," Georgia said. There was a short, awkward silence. "I don' really know anyone here except Nick. Do you know any of these other people?"

Milos fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, watching the gate a few down from their bench start boarding. "A little bit. I see Sicily and Berlin at meetings occasionally- Europe has a lot of nations in a relatively small place, so it's hard to avoid people." He glanced over to where Tokyo was in the process of untangling a mess of cords. "Tokyo's usually pretty quiet, but he filled in for Japan for a little while after what happened last year, so I've seen him before, too."

Suddenly, there was a loud _zzztt!_, followed by a series of pops and sizzles. The three of them turned around just in time to witness the outlet Tokyo was at spontaneously combust. He jumped backwards and hid behind a chair as the wall smoked and sparks rained down around a group of confused human bystanders who quickly took the opportunity to exit. In the middle of it all, he cautiously crept forward, unhooked his computer, grabbed it, and scurried back to his hiding spot until it was over.

Kyoya came back over to the group a few minutes later, clutching the fried remains of his computer cord. The computer itself seemed to be unharmed but the young man holding it looked about ready to start crying. At the curious looks the other three were giving him, he cleared his throat, admitting, "The circuitry here, as you say... 'sucks.'"

Meanwhile, Berlin and Sicily were trapped in a hellishly long line in the shop. The little Sicilian had brought a straw basket and had filled it to the brim with oranges. She sighed, staring at them longingly as Berlin crossed her arms over her chest, tapping her foot impatiently at how long this was taking. They were starting to get behind schedule, and she was not about to be late to their school orientation.

Emillia oh-so-quietly reached for an orange, watching Berlin the whole time to make sure she hadn't gotten caught. Her fingertips had just barely brushed the skin of the fruit when Avery admonished, "You aren't allowed to eat any till we've bought them," for the fifth time. Emillia's shoulders slumped. How had Avery known? She had been looking in completely the opposite direction! She must have some sort of magical powers. "No, I don't have magical powers. You're just really obvious."

"...Oh."

The two of them had known each other before all this, having met through Germany and Italy. They didn't know each other all that well, but that had never stopped Sicily from being social. Avery glanced at her watch as the line moved up an inch or two. She had the feeling that she was going to have to be the responsible one in this group, not that she minded. Being responsible was one of her best talents. However, again, her only problem was that she didn't want to end up being Sicily's babysitter.

A man walking by accidentally brushed the back of Sicilly's dress. Emillia's eyes lit up. "What the hell you perv?" She shoved the basket of oranges into Avery's arms and pulled a crowbar from out of nowhere. The man took off in a sprint out of the shop, fearing for his life- rightfully so. "I'LL GET YOU, PERVERTITO!" She charged right after him, waving her crowbar around like it was a mace.

Avery face-palmed. She pulled out several bills and tossed them at the cashier before racing after her. "EMILLIA! Get back here!" Perhaps 'babysitting' was the wrong word. It was more like... _pacifying_.

As they passed by the place where the others were waiting, none of the other immortals batted an eyelash at the spectacle. Tokyo had put his equipment back carefully into his black backpack which was covered in button-pins advertising all his favorite animes. He could buy a new cord easily. He was just thankful that his computer hadn't been fried... or himself for that matter.

But that wasn't the issue here.

Hearing the screaming and watching Sicily about to clobber a man, then looking behind him where Alaska had challenged Serbia to a drinking contest as soon as they got settled in at school, he couldn't help but think, _I may not be a Christian, but God help Ashton Boarding School..._

**OoO**

**AN: And chapter one is officially complete! Actually, the majority of it was done a few days ago, but there were a few sections which I just had to obsess over. :)**

**So let me know what you guys think. If you don't think I'm getting your character right, tell me now before we get too far in. And if you do like it, tell me that too! I'm also willing to answer questions if you don't understand something that's going on- unless it would give away the plot, of course.**

**That's about it, except that some of our supporting cast will be making an appearance in the next chapter (if any of them are still reading lol)! It's already in progress and will be up soon~**


	4. In Which the Dealeo is Explained

**IMPORTANT MESSAGE!: In this chapter, there is a vague description of the school campus, as well as mentions of the student's schedules. On my profile, you can find a link to a picture of the campus plus descriptions of what each building is for. There is also a list of everyone's classes and a link to the design of the school uniform. Yay!**

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 2**

Quite frankly, Avery had absolutely no idea why she had been sent here. She had always been a good capitol city. She did her assigned work, she never made trouble for her superiors, and in some respects she was nearly perfect _because_ she was so committed to her duties as the personification of Berlin. She may have been a bit socially awkward, and she could admit that she did have some perfectionist tendencies, but you didn't need to be a people-person to shoot a gun or do paperwork.

So then... why on earth did her boss feel the need to send her to do this program with these- at this, she looked around at the motley crew that surrounded her and winced- eh... _eccentric_ personifications? Had she not been performing up to his standards? Did he feel that she was becoming an embarrassment which must be rectified? She gritted her teeth, staring at the clipboard in her hands.

_Nien_, she thought. _He already told you, it's not because you've done anything wrong. He just feels that you've been too much of a workaholic lately. _She disagreed completely, but when your boss tells you that you're going to be spending a year at boarding school, well then you're going to spend a year at boarding school.

She blinked herself out of these thoughts and concentrated on the papers. She began filling them out methodically. To her left, Alaska stood and made his way to the reception desk. Berlin vaguely wondered how he had managed to finish everything so quickly. Then she realized the answer when the secretary stared at the clipboard in wide-eyed horror before handing it back to him with a nervous smile and a 'suggestion' that some of his answers could use improvement. He rolled his eyes but came and sat back down.

Avery became engrossed in her work, but her head snapped up the second she heard the office door open. A woman came out, clothed in a simple dress suit and high-heels. She looked very young and sweet. She stopped in front of the group and cleared her throat to get their attention.

"Hello. My name is Miss McGowan, and I am the Vice Principal here at Ashton. I have received some information from the UN, which of course was the group that sponsored your coming here. This is a rather odd situation to say the least. We don't usually get transfer students in groups, we've been given absolutely no records of your previous education, and most information about you is classified- which is strange since you're all so young. However, the main thing I was told was simply to go along with things and not ask any questions. And I'm not one to rock the boat, so I won't."

She paused and smiled just to see the reception she was getting. The responses ranged from bored indifference to a cheery smile right back.

"Anyway, you'll get your class schedules as soon as you turn in those papers our secretary is having you fill out. The girls will be rooming together in the Alpha dormitory, on the second floor, room 227. The boys will be in the Omega dormitory, also on the second floor, room 133. Actually, although they're technically in different sections, they're just down the hall from each other- the Alpha and Omega dorms are connected. However, I am telling you right now that there is no be no mixing of dorm rooms! Females stay in your end, and males in the other. I mean it!" Despite the long speech which was ended with a stern warning, if she'd had the teenagers' attentions before, she had clearly lost them by now. Even Avery was only half-listening as she finished her admissions papers.

It seemed that Miss McGowan realized this, and began to step backwards a few feet. "Well then, I hope you all enjoy your year here at our school. If you have any questions or concerns, I'll be glad to speak with you personally." With that, she retreated back into her office.

"Hey," a voice from behind the reception desk called. A young girl stood up and leaned forward on the counter, putting her chin in her hands and looking at them. She was obviously a student from her plaid blue uniform skirt and white dress shirt, and she wore a name badge which read 'Sydney'. "New guys, what's the dealeo? The Headhunter's been all in a dither since this morning over your arrival, so I figure it must be something big."

There was a pause. "Who exactly is this 'Headhunter'?" Tokyo asked. The others gave her their attention, curiosity getting the better of them.

"The headmaster. That's what everyone calls him because he's a grade-A jerk, no lie. He was storming all through the office this morning, yelling about how he wanted full background checks done on all of you. I thought poor Castel was gonna have a heart attack! But then Castel got sick and had to leave early."

The six new students exchanged glances. So some people had decided to be nosy. They hadn't thought that they could go through this whole year with no one getting at least a little suspicious. But so early? This could cause problems. However, there was the unspoken rule among them that when it came to their real identities, they had to protect each other. They may not have all been best friends, but there was a certain comradery which came with their situation, and it all stemmed from the fact that they'd be in serious trouble if any of them were caught. It was an alliance of necessity.

With that in mind, the idea that there may already be a person in authority who's caught on to something not-quite-right about them was more than a little unnerving. "Why was he so concerned about us?" Kyoya pressed, now more desperate for information.

The office aide threw up her hands in the air in exasperation. "As if I know! He just came in here yelling something about how he refused to let his school become over-run with trouble-makers and insisted that he have more information before letting you in. I dunno if he got it or not- it was totally out of my realm of responsibility."

Kyoya felt his heart rate speed up at this piece of bad news. There wasn't anything that could be done about it at the moment, but that did nothing to console him. "Th-thank you Sydney-san," he said, noting her badge.

She laughed. "Sydney-_san_? What does that mean?"

"It is called an honorific. They are tacked onto the end of someone's name, based on their level of authority and how well you know them."

She looked at Tokyo as if he had grown a second head, but nodded anyway. "Oh, I think I get it. Where are you guys from anyway?"

"I am Emillia, from Sicily!" Said Italian province exclaimed, glad that the topic was on to something more cheerful. "This is my friend Avery, and she's from Germany. Over there are Nikolai and Belle- they're Americans, but they both talk really weird. That's Kyoya from Japan, and next to him is Milos from Serbia."

"Great to meet you all," Sydney said. After glancing around to make sure they weren't going to be overheard, she leaned in and said in a softer voice, "A word of advice: stay clear of the Headhunter. He's bad news, and I dunno what you did to piss him off so much, but you did it really well!"

Avery spoke up then, saying. "Well thanks for the warning... ah, Sydney... but I'm sure we have it under control. We are just six perfectly normal students."

As if on cue, Emillia's crowbar hit the ground and Kyoya's cell phone went off playing the theme song to Tokyo Mew Mew. Yeah, perfectly normal. _Way to go, guys..._

OoOo

Sydney took their paperwork despite Avery's insistence that it would be better for them to give it all directly to the secretary (in reality, she was afraid the slightly scatter-brained Sydney would loose everything, and she didn't want to have to fill it out for a second time.) She handed them their schedules. Avery and Kyoya began making sure that everything was in perfect order on their schedules, Milos and Nikolai barely glanced at theirs before shoving them somewhere where they would probably get lost later, Belle simply wanted to make sure that drama was in her schedule (and smiled brightly when she saw that it was), and Emillia glanced over hers briefly before using it as a napkin to clean up juice from her oranges.

They were handed the keys to their rooms and given directions to the dormitories. Unfortunately, while Sydney used her hands a lot and made big gestures to explain, she wasn't very good at being clear. "So you go to that building next to the thing with the red numbers- all the buildings have red numbers, but these are more maroon, so it's different. Then turn left. No, right. No, um... I dunno. Turn and then..." And so on.

In the end, Sicily was the only one who seemed to get exactly what she was saying. "I'm Italian~"she explained. "We use our hands a lot when we talk too!"

No one could find it in themselves to argue with her.

Sydney got on a little walkie-talkie device which she seemed really proud of, and called someone to come down and give them a tour of the campus.

Clara, a Filipino girl who was small in stature but more 'well-developed' than most, came into the office a second later. She was munching on a chocolate bar, and there was the edge of an empty wrapper of a second bar sticking out of her skirt pocket.

Sydney groaned in disapproval. "Claraaaa! How many times have I told you not to eat candy before taking new kids on tours? Now we're gonna have to get a new tour guide. Is Castel well enough to get his butt down here and help yet?"

Clara had enough decency to look a bit ashamed, but took another bite of chocolate anyway. "But I got it from my little brother... Don't worry, I'll be able to do the tour, I promise! And no, he's still in the nurse's office." That was the translated version of what she said. In reality, it sounded more like, "Don'tworry,I'llbeabletodothetour,Ipromise!Andno,he'sstillinthenurse'soffice."

However, Sydney seemed to get it somehow. "Then I'll tell Emilio not be giving you chocolate again, since clearly you can't be trusted! Now, take a deep breath, Clara~" Clara did as she was told. "Good. Now exhale. And concentrate on speaking at a rate somewhere under three hundred words a minute!"

"Got it!" She said cheerfully, giving a thumbs-up.

Sydney assured the new students, "Don't worry, I'll send you guys a map of the school for when you finish the tour without being able to understand a word she says. See ya!"

Clara led them out of the office, and towards the courtyard. She stood near building 2 and told them that that was where the nurse's office was, then she pointed to each of the other buildings to their left and explained their purposes. 3 through 7 were for academics, to their right across the courtyard were the dorms, and the recreation room was down the walkway and straight ahead. When she informed them that the 15 year olds would probably be taking driver's education, there was an expression of general horror at the thought of Sicily or Alaska on the road, though no one had much of a problem with Georgia driving.

The tour group found themselves constantly wondering what she'd said, and even asked each other that question in whispers occasionally. After taking them to the driver's ed lot, she rushed through the rest of the tour even quicker if that was possible. "Yeah, over there somewhere is like the recreation rooms and stuff, plus trade electives over on that side... You get the idea!"

When she waved goodbye and skipped off twenty minutes later, they felt even more confused about the campus layout than before they'd left. They dragged their bags into the dorms, which were pretty quiet at the moment since the school day wasn't over yet.

"We can sit together at dinner tonight and compare schedules," Georgia suggested when they were at the top of the staircase where the guys and girls would have to go separate ways down the hall.

"Good idea," Avery said. "However... I'm afraid we'll probably end up having to break the rule about not going into each other's dorms. I don't see any way around it. If we have a problem that needs to be discussed as a group, there's no other place we can go where people won't overhear." There was a certain emphasis on 'people' which they all understood:_ people, as in those who are not personifications. _

With the possible exception of Kyoya, who was a little fearful of what would happen if they got caught, no one minded the idea of breaking the rule. With that decided, they split up then, with the boys heading right, and the girls going left. But they could clearly see each others' rooms.

A few minutes later, Milos was sprawled out on his bed as Kyoya finished carefully taping a Durarara poster on the wall above his space- one of several anime posters he'd put up, and he even had more in his suitcase. "What classes are you taking?" Milos asked him, turning over and resting his head on his hand.

"Mostly regular classes- English, Chemistry and such. I am taking an advanced Math class though which I am looking forward to," Kyoya said. He inspected his work before moving onto figuring out where to put his vast collection of mangas.

"You're looking forward to math...?"

"Yes, of course. Aren't you?"

Milos laughed at the question as if it was the most rediculious thing he'd ever heard. "Math- no. PE- yes." He pulled his schedule out of his pocket and glared at it in frustration. "My boss signed me up for French class. That's not going to be fun..."

"Sucks to be you," Nikolai said unhelpfully while unpacking some clothes into a drawer. "I'm taking Russian as a foreign language."

"But didn't you say that you used to live with Big Brother Russia?"

"Yep. Russian is my first language." Realizing how little sense this made, Nikolai shrugged and explained, "My boss's expectations of me are bordering on non-existent."

"Lucky." Milos sat up. He ran a hand through his short brown hair and said, more to himself than anyone else, "But I'm glad my boss expects a lot of me, even if it does involve taking French class. Having responsibility... it's different for nations I suppose- at least when it comes to our people and leaders. It means more since we actually have control over our own affairs." He leaned over his bed and pulled out a large, clear bottle from underneath it. "Ugh, I need a drink." He took a long swig then capped it back up.

"Milos-san," Kyoya said, "I could be wrong, but I believe having alcohol on school property is against the rules." He got an 'are you serious?' look from both his roommates.

"Mm, Raikija..." Grinning, Serbia hugged the bottle to his chest as if it were his child.

Kyoya quickly gave up and instead went over to the closet to see how they could evenly divide the space between the three of them. However, what he saw when he opened the door made his eyes widen. "Oh dear..."

The other two got up and came over to see what he was looking at.

"What the _hell_?"

Milos pulled the offending article out of the closet. It was a pair of blue plaid knee-length shorts and matching tie, a white button-up dress shirt, and a grey jacket. "At the risk of losing some manliness by saying this... guys, this uniform is _ugly_!"

**OOOO**

**AN: And now we're getting somewhere! The next chapter is where we really start to get into some of the legit plot. Oh, and if you didn't read the important message at the beginning of the chapter, please do that now.**

**As a side note, since Clara and Emilio are both from the Philippines, I thought it would make sense if they were siblings.**


	5. That Really Cold Place Called Serbia

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 3**

The next day, everyone started classes. Emillia wrote her whole schedule all over her arms- twice- so that she wouldn't have to worry about forgetting anything. Unfortunately, she had written down everything except what rooms they were in, so she dragged Avery back to the dorms when the capitol city pointed this out, to go find her paper schedule. In the end, they were both late to their respective first periods.

By the time she got to her art class, Emillia had made a grand total of twelve friends. Not bad for her first day- and it wasn't even lunch time yet! She was excited about a few of her classes, and art was definitely one of them. She got a bit lost going from the section of the campus for the academic classes to the electives section, but she eventually made her way to the art room. She found the building by asking one of her new friends the way, but then found the room itself by following the scent of paint and used canvases.

When she opened the door, she immediately took in the layout of the room. There was a whiteboard on the right wall and several rows of long tables facing it. Then the rest of the space was used up with easels and stools- about twenty of them. It wasn't exactly a clean place. Instead, there was paint splattered on the walls and floor, and there were canvases stacked from the back tables all the way to the ceiling. Unfinished and finished sculptures alike filled in any empty spaces that may have previously been there.

To Emillia, it was absolute perfection. She squealed happily as she ran into the room, then ran straight up to the art teacher and hugged her tightly.

The woman seemed taken-aback for a second, but then got over it quickly. "H-hello! Are you one of our new students?"

She nodded, letting go of the slightly flustered teacher. "Yes, ma'am! I'm Emillia Vargas from Sicily!"

"Nice to meet you, Emillia. I'm always looking for students who are genuinely excited to be here. Have you ever painted before?"

"Oh, sì! I painted 'Our Lady of Mount Caramel'-" she caught herself and corrected, "Um, I mean, I've done studies of it... trying to replicate it and all..."

The art teacher smiled. "Pietro Novelli, a Sicilian painter. You like him?"

"Very much! I-" She was close to going on a long rambling talk about all her favorite artists- most of them being either hers or her brothers'- but then she spotted Avery on the other side of the room. She excused herself quickly then raced over and tackle-hugged the unsuspecting German. "AVERY! I didn't know you were taking art class!"

Avery flinched at the sudden physical contact (partly because it made it hard for her to breathe- Emillia could be strong when she felt like it), but she forced herself not to shove Sicily away. She put her backpack down at an empty seat on the long table without missing a beat. Though she didn't like it, dealing with touchy people was nothing new to her. Other than Germany himself, it seemed like everyone in the area had absolutely no sense of personal space. "I would have rather taken something like weight lifting or basketball, but my boss thought that I should be taking something a bit more... therapeutic." If the note of disdain in her voice was anything to go by, she clearly disagreed.

They were instructed to start out the year by doing a simple painting of a fruit bowl just to see where everyone's skill level was. Emillia and Avery were at easels next to each other, but from the beginning it was clear that their skills were nowhere near the same. Within five minutes, Sicily's fruit bowl was coming to life. She mixed the paints with practiced ease, putting the light and shadow in just the right tones and in just the right places.

Berlin on the other hand had a bit more trouble. She wasn't quite as art-challenged as Germany, but it was close. Her picture looked more like giant mochi riding on a boat in the middle of a backyard kiddie-pool filled with green jello. With rabbits. She tried to fix one of the mochi, and it turned into a rabbit instead.

Alaska had also ended up in the class, but was twenty minutes late. He came in looking less-than-thrilled to be there, and exchanged exasperated glances with Berlin. She understood exactly how he felt. He started on the fruit bowl, and before long Sicily came to see what he had come up with since she'd already finished and stacked her wet canvas on the back table next to an unfinished clay angel sculpture.

She blinked at it, tilting her head to one side with a look of confusion. "Um... what is it?"

"It's a stupid fruit bowl."

"...It looks like a pile of mutilated corpses..."

He did a double-take at her. "What?" He studied the piece of 'art', twirling his paintbrush back and forth, flecks of blue splattering on Emillia's smock. "You're kidding, right? I have no idea what you're talking about. It's_ just_ a fruit bowl."

Avery came over to see what was going on while on her way to the display table, holding her canvas so that wet paint trailed down the edges and pooled around her fingertips. "I could be wrong, but I don't think that the assignment was to draw dead bodies. You may want to paint over that before Miss Ray finds out."

"But I'm telling you guys- it really is supposed to be a fruit bowl!"

The teacher came by before anyone could comment further. "N-Nikolai! What is _that_?" She had her hand over her mouth in horror.

Officially giving up, he dropped the paintbrush in the pallette. "Something tells me you wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to inform the councilor of this."

_Of course you do._

OoO

Serbia had been having a not-too-terrible day so far. His French class wasn't as awful as he'd thought it would be, his Music class was fun, and he could generally just ignore Math.

And he'd thought that his record was going to continue when he went into his English class. He immediately spotted Tokyo in the front row, but decided to go sit over by a group of girls instead. They were in the middle of a deep discussion about something, and thankfully he decided to listen for a moment to catch the basic idea of their conversation before trying to join in. When he found out that they were talking about their respective boyfriends, he got up and sat next to Tokyo instead. "How have things been going so far?"

"Very well, Milos-san. And you?"

"Bre, pretty well!" Neither of them noticed it, but a group of guys had moved into the table behind them. They were big, football player-type guys who stopped joking around and throwing papers at the nerdy kids when they heard Serbia talk. "I met some really cute girls in my French class, plus I found out that I can play Tetris on my calculator, and that's always useful. And then-"

One of the guys from the adjourning table made a motion to his friends then came over to the end of Serbia's table. "Dude, what is wrong with your voice?"

Serbia paused for a second. "...What did you say?"

"I said, what's wrong with the way you talk? You sound like a freak! Where are you from?"

"Serbia," he said coldly. Milos had no idea what he was getting at, but if this was some kind of joke it _really_ wasn't funny. "Where are you from? The local trailer park?"

"What the hell is a 'Serbia'?" He demanded, completely ignoring the second part of Milos's remarks. "Isn't that the really cold place next to China or whatever?"

Milos didn't even bother to hide his look of disgust and irritation. "That's _Siberia_." He then asked, tone dead serious, "Bre, did your mother drop you on your head as a child, or did you get to be this stupid naturally?"

He grabbed Milos by the collar of his shirt, pulling him close, "What did you just call me, punk?" He was pissed, and so was Milos. It was a recipe for disaster.

"I said-"

He started to make an angry retort, but Kyoya cut in, "Well, um, to answer your question, Serbia is a country in Europe, in the Balkan region. It was once a part of the Ottoman Empire, but it gained autonomy after two uprisings in 18-"

The guy gave Kyoya an acidic look which caused him to shut up. So much for trying to diffuse the situation.

"Hey, Dawson, let it go man," Emilio, one of Dawson's friends, warned him. He had known the hot-headed teen ever since he was a little kid, and had never liked the way his friend treated people. He stayed close with him for old times' sake, and to make sure that Dawson stayed away from his sister Clara; but he had always hoped that there could come a day in which he could tell Dawson what he really thought of him- unfortunately, that day was certainly not today.

Dawson mostly ignored him, but did reluctantly let go of Milos's shirt. "Seriously, is that like some tribe or something? Are you cannibals?"

"That depends. Would you like to come over for dinner sometime?" Milos clenched his fists, trying desperately to remind himself why punching this kid would be a bad idea. He was having an impossible time of it.

"So let me get this straight," Dawson said, glancing between the two of them. "The Asian's a nerdy, girly little fairy, and you're a cannibal freak!" He turned back to his friends. "Ain't it great, fellas?"

And _that_ was the final straw. Milos's pencil snapped in his grip. He calmly, casually got up as if he was standing just for the sake of standing, even going so far as to pretend to turn around to take something off his desk. Then suddenly, he growled in rage and punched Dawson. _I didn't hear any bones crack._ He thought, _Darn, maybe next time._ Instantly, the room exploded into chaos. Dawson recovered quickly and took a swing at Milos, landing a hit in the ribs. Milos grabbed the table to keep from falling, then had to duck another punch. He then head-butted the larger teen, causing them both to crash backwards into Emilio and another person. Dawson grabbed Milos by the shoulders and tried to throw him into a table, but Milos kicked him in the kneecap and then swung his fist into the back of Dawson's head.

_Bre, you don't know who you're fighting. I'm over a thousand years old and I didn't get to be that way by accident. I've trained for plenty more hours than you've been _alive_! You're __nothing compared to most of the opponents I've faced. Plus, you have a terrible sense of humor and your breath stinks._

Meanwhile, the whole class had surrounded the pair yelling "Fight! Fight!" The teacher had not yet arrived to class, and the respective friends of the belligerents weren't quite sure what to do besides stand there.

"Please, both of you, stop this!" Kyoya tried to shout over the crowd of students. This was not supposed to be happening! School was a place of learning, not a place to be taunting other students or to be instigating fights. And if there was one thing Kyoya disliked, it was a fight. "There is absolutely no reason why we have to start acting like animals! I am sure that if we could all just sit down and talk about this rationally..." Okay, now he was sounding ridiculous even to his own ears. Rationality had left the building about five minutes ago. When a chair that Dawson fell onto toppled over and the leg cracked, Kyoya decided that this was enough.

He gestured to Emilio who understood what he meant, and together they attempted to pull Milos and Dawson apart. Emilio had a relatively easy time of it- especially when two others, Jeff and Lewis, stepped in to help.

Kyoya, on the other hand, spent the majority of the time trying not to get injured himself. He tried to find a way to subdue Milos with as little physical contact as possible. He ended up managing to grip the nation's wrists from behind and wrench his arms up, dragging him backwards in a way that could dislocate Milos's shoulders if he pulled much harder. "Ah, I'm sorry. But Milos-san, please calm down before someone gets hurt."

"If no one got hurt, wouldn't that defeat the purpose of a fight?"

"Th-that's not the point and you know it... S-sorry...," Kyoya said again out of habit.

Milos flashed him a grin. "Don't be."

Within seconds, the crowd figured out that the fight (and therefore the excitement) was over, and went back to whatever they had been doing before as if nothing had happened. No one told the English teacher anything, and other than the broken chair which was easily disposed of (i.e. thrown out the window), there was no evidence of anything out of the ordinary.

Kyoya was a nervous wreck all throughout the class period, especially when every time he would look to his left, Jeff would gesture behind him where Dawson was making the 'slit-the-throat' gesture at him and Milos. Said European didn't seem nearly as concerned as Kyoya (which annoyed Kyoya slightly since he was the one who threw the first punch to begin with), and he was able to make it appear as though Dawson was the person furthest from his mind at the moment.

Suffice to say, Kyoya was out of his seat and halfway out the door before the bell had even finished the first ring. He had a bad feeling about all this.

OoO

Georgia had been looking forward to her drama class all day, and the moment the final bell rang to start that class she couldn't help but radiate anticipation. She took a seat right in the front row. Drama was being held in the performing arts center, as were classes like band and chorus. The PAC consisted of a stage with an audience which seated about three hundred, a scene shop where they made sets, a costume and prop shop, and a light and sound board up above and in back of the audience and facing the stage.

The students were all seated in the first several rows of the audience, and their teacher- an eccentrically dressed and cheery woman of about 30- stood on stage. "Alright everyone, quiet down, quiet down! For those of you who have never met me, I am Mrs. Jennifer Smith- but you all can call me Miss Jen. I know some of you from our time together last year, but I also see a few new faces in the crowd, and that's always nice too!"

From there, she went on about a few rules and procedures, mostly relating to how drama class was like a family, and even though family members sometimes fought, it was important to treat others with respect and not to let personal disputes interfere with the performance on stage. Though the information was just a general 'play-nice' speech, Belle hung on her every word. She could tell she was going to like this place. And maybe, if things went well, she could even get into one of the real school plays which raised money for the drama department.

"Now that we've gotten that stuff out of the way, I think it's time that everyone get to know each other a little better." She started gesturing largely for them to come over. "Come up on stage. Don't be shy!" There were stairs on each side of the stage, but some people decided to just climb up directly. Belle wisely chose to take the stairs since she was wearing a skirt.

They all stood in a circle, and Belle wound up noticing a few people that she knew but just hadn't seen in the class earlier, including Kyoya and a few girls from her math class. They went around the circle, each person giving their name and a fact about them. She learned then that Kyoya was taking this class because he thought it might help him be a better cosplayer. _What in the world is cosplaying...?, _she thought._ Oh well. If he likes it, then more power to him I guess._ When it got to her, she said, "Hi, my name is Belle Jones and one of my favorite hobbies is gardening." Though the fact struck her as massively boring, it was certainly better than _Hi, my name is Belle Jones and I'm a former member of the Confederacy._ Yeah, not gonna happen.

Throughout the introductions, she noticed a guy across from her. He kept looking at her and winking at her, and generally giving her more attention than a random classmate normally would. She just ignored it of course, but she couldn't help but blush when he blew her a kiss from across the circle. Belle found herself more eager than she would like to admit to hear his introduction. Finally, it came to be his turn. "'Sup. I'm Dawson O'Brady, and I'm the quarterback of Ashton's varsity football team."

Hmm, Dawson. That's a nice name...

From there, the teacher split them up into groups and told them to create a pantomime centering on a particular location. Then each group was to preform their pantomime in front of the class, and everyone else would have to guess what their location was supposed to be. Belle was put in a group with Dawson, Kyoya, and a random girl from her math class.

Dawson stood much closer than she would have liked, but she just moved away a few feet and started right in with, "So maybe we could do a zoo theme or somethi-" Midway through the word, she happened to notice something small, black and very, very scary right by her shoe. "EEEK! SPIDER!" She screamed and started to panic and suddenly jumped right into Kyoya's arms.

He seemed more traumatized by their close proximity than she was at the spider. He started blushing and stuttering, "Th-this is highly inappropriate!" He started to put her down, but she threw her arms around his neck, nearly strangling him.

"Get it away, get it away, get it away..."

Dawson shrugged and stomped on it in one fluid motion. "Hey babe, it's gone, don't worry." He pried her arms off of Kyoya and took her from him. Kyoya instantly felt relieved on one hand, but knowing Dawson, was a bit worried on the other. Dawson spun her around halfway so she could see the corpse that he'd successfully vanquished on her behalf. "I'll never let a spider get you," he half-whispered, leaning in close.

Belle blinked at this, realizing that she'd just freaked out over a spider and that she was now in the arms of a complete stranger- albeit, a very cute complete stranger. She looked away blushing, thoroughly embarrassed. "Um, c-could you please... put me down now?"

"What, no kiss?" He asked, clearly only halfway joking. She shook her head. "Next time then." He set her down carefully. "So about the whole zoo thing..."

They finished early, and Miss Jen allowed them the rest of the class period to talk amongst themselves.

"Belle-san, could I please talk to you for a moment? Privately?"

"Well, sure I s'ppose," Belle said a bit uncertainly. The two of them moved over to the left side of the audience, away from the others. "What's on yer mind?"

Tokyo hesitated a moment, looking extremely conflicted. He fidgeted with a strand of hair, and she was just about to tell him to spit it out already when he told her, "It is about Dawson-san. I... I know it is probably not my place to say anything, and please forgive me if that's the case, but..." He stopped again, this time for longer.

"But what?"

"I... Nevermind. Nevermind. I shouldn't have said anything."

"Kyoya," She put a hand on his shoulder. "Please. This must be somethin' important or you wouldn't have felt the need to tell me to begin with. I'd really like to know what it is."

This bit of encouragement helped steel his resolve. "Hai. Well I have several other classes with Dawson-san. And in English class today, there was an altercation between him and Milos-san. Dawson-san said some extremely unkind things to both of us, him especially, and they got in a fist-fight because of it. There was also a minor issue during PE involving him and Nikolai-san. Nothing happened, but the point is, I just have serious doubts about Dawson's character... and I thought that you should probably know about it."

She listened carefully throughout his whole speech, seeming a bit shocked at what he told her. However, one part near the end caught her attention. "Look, Kyoya, I'm real glad you told me this, and I'll keep it in mind. But the thing is, I dunno about Milos, but my brother tends to be an instigator. Just because Dawson can be lured into trouble by someone who's always in trouble doesn't make him a terrible person. And that stuff he said to you guys... Milos doesn't seem like the type who would just let insults go, and neither does Dawson. And that causes problems. Are you sure he wasn't just over-reacting? Maybe even trying to pick a fight?" She shook her head. That had come out wrong. "All I'm sayin' is, Dawson seems like a nice guy- a little arrogant, but nice- and I just don't wanna rush to judgement. Okay?"

He gave her a long, level look. Finally, he bit his lip but nodded. "Hai. I understand. I cannot say I agree, but I understand. Thank you for listening anyway, and please remember this."

"I will. I promise."

Then the bell rang, and that was it.

**OoO**

**And lo and behold, it's chapter 3! Long chappie~ Writing the part with Milos, Kyoya, and Dawson amused me to no end lol. And in case anyone was wondering, Dawson was not a character that was sent in- I just made him up cuz I couldn't picture any other character being nearly that mean. He's basically just here to be the school's resident popular jock/ a**hole. But speaking of our supporting cast, we saw a little bit Emilio here, and next chapter I'm 99 percent sure that Cassandra and Maria will make an appearance. Yay! (And Nurse Steggy, Castel will be making an appearance soon-ish. I already have it planned out *insert evil laugh* You'll see~)**

**Oh, and Kleptogirl, I'm very sorry but I already have more than enough characters. I don't think I could use Mikayla. Sorry. :( But I hope you still stick around to read this thing anyway~**

**Hmm, and that's about everything... so, yep. Reviews are very much appreciated! :D**


	6. Tokyo Pop 1

**AN: Welcome to Tokyo's blog! There will be one of these every several chapters (or whenever I have inspiration), and it's basically just what Tokyo thinks about everything that's going on (because let's face it, he's probably not going to come right out and tell the others this stuff- he's too polite).**

OoO

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 4**

**Tokyo Pop- The blog of Honda Kyoya**

Hello again! As you know, a while ago I went to Comiket with Okinawa, which was a lot of fun! I saw a particular cosplayer from Baka and Test who did an absolutely amazing job with their costume, and I truly believe that they managed to capture the feel of the show like I have never seen before. So sir... or ma'am (I'm sorry, but I couldn't tell which gender you were... sorry), if you happen to read this, I sincerely commend you! :D And I hope to be able to put up pictures from the con as soon as Okinawa emails them to me.

In other news, I believe I mentioned a while ago that my boss had decided to send me to boarding school. Ah, boarding school...

It is actually not a bad experience; not bad at all. Here's a picture of myself and the other personifications in the airport lobby that Sicily (second from the right) convinced the man from the UN to take of us.

Anyway, so I have been here for a few weeks, and I have relatively few complaints about the school itself. Far from it- the place is clean, the teachers and staff are friendly, and they even serve egg rolls on Thursdays (yes, a very bad imitation of China's food, but it's the thought that counts). I like most of the students as well so far. Most. Unfortunately, there's been a number of incidents involving one Dawson O'Brady. I really can _not_ stand him. Yes, Serbia did throw the first punch in their fight, but he wouldn't have had to if Dawson had not been so rude and obnoxious! I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A GIRL! That insult was completely uncalled for and inappropriate, and... and... _girly_? How dare he have the nerve to call me girly? I would like to see him try to cosplay Alphonse Elric and stay in that hot metal suit all day in the middle of Summer! Is that girly? Could the big brute handle that? _I think not_!

...

I apologize. That was out of line. But I'm not sorry.

I have no idea what's going to happen with this whole Dawson issue, especially now that Georgia has gotten involved. Perhaps Dawson and Serbia will be able to quietly settle their differences and become friends, and we will come to find out that the whole thing was nothing but a terrible misunderstanding. Maybe... but I highly doubt it.

Also, I heard that the school was having student council elections, and am excited to announce that I have officially entered my name to be on the ballot for the position of Student Council Treasurer! Berlin has agreed to help me organize my campaign- she's very good at organizing. I've already begun designing campaign posters, and I'm thinking about witty slogans. What do you think about "If you have the time and inclination, please vote Kyoya Honda for Student Council Treasurer"? It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

Oh, I'm afraid I have to go now. I lost track of time and I have to be down to dinner in five minutes. But everyone let me know what you think about... well, everything.

Sayōnara,

Tokyo

_There are **10** comments on this post._

**Serbia** says: Bre, I didn't know you had a blog. Nice~ And yeah, I doubt it too my friend. Really.

**Georgia** says: O_O I have no comment except that you shouldn't jump to conclusions. But good luck in the election- you have my vote! :)

**Tokyo** says: ...How did you all find this?

**Sicily** says: Caio everyone! Ooh, nice blog Tokyo! And that one picture of you in a dress is really cute! :D

**Tokyo** says: *blushes* Ahh, th-thank you... -.-

**Berlin** says: Tokyo, I was wondering if you'd like to discuss campaign plans in the library tomorrow after school? Your slogan needs some work.

**Alaska** says: Seriously you guys. It's unnecessary. You're probably the only one running.

**Tokyo** says: Alright. 4:30 then? And you don't know that; there's probably plenty of healthy competition!

**Berlin** says: Fine. And no, he's right. I checked the ballot, and so far you ARE the only one running.

**Tokyo** says: ...Oh. :(


	7. Like Dory, but Relevant!

**Just a random note here. Although of course everyone has a PE class of some kind (and some even have more then one), in most schools they separate girls and boys for these types of classes so that no one gets hurt. Any girl who's played dodge-ball with teenage guys twice her size would understand, lol.**

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 5**

For the next few weeks, life went on as normal (well, whatever exactly constituted as normal at least). Everyone went to class (most of the time), made friends (to varying degrees), and generally had the average high school experience (aside from the whole issue about them all actually being much, much older than any high school student).

So since their time had been relatively free of incident, not counting the first day, Emillia was rather surprised to find that the record had been broken that Friday during Soccer class.

Since school had started, Emillia and Avery found themselves hanging out together more and more. At first it was just because it was nice to have a familiar face around when you barely knew anyone else, but eventually it became habit, and after that they found that they actually liked being friends- although even they had to admit, the whole thing was extremely ironic.

However, despite their friendship, there was one thing that could pit them against each other like no other: soccer. They were both wicked players, and they were incurably competitive when it came to defending their title. Every day it was the same. They would always insist on being on opposite teams. At first no one thought it was fair that they would be allowed to choose their teams when everyone else was assigned, but when people saw the damage they could inflict when they worked together, the other students quickly decided to comply. Then Emillia and Avery would pretty much take over the game when their teammates proved thoroughly incompetent to play on such a brutal level. No one could keep up with them, and after a while, everyone came to the conclusion that they didn't _want_ to get in the middle of whatever kind of violent soccer-rivalry these two had.

Sicily and Berlin would yell insults at each other from across the field in their respective languages, knowing that they were being insulted even though they couldn't understand the other. They would get into near-skirmishes over the ball, and there was a general atmosphere of anger and animosity that choked the air whenever they played. Their teammates were horrified, but continued to watch with some kind of morbid curiosity every time.

The oddest thing was, the second the final whistle was blown, Emillia would run up to Avery and hug her like they hadn't seen each other in years, and they would start talking and go right back to being friends as though they _hadn't_ just been beating each other up on the field ten seconds ago.

But that Friday, something was different. Sicily noticed from the second she stepped on the field how Berlin didn't seem to be acting like herself. Normally, although she hated to admit it, Avery was actually a noticeably better player than Emillia. Emillia still managed to win plenty of times, but it was difficult. This time, however, it was much too easy. Avery played with the usual raw determination, blocking Sicily at every turn and taking every opening she found, but there was something off about it. Her eyes were unfocused, and she stumbled occasionally. Once or twice, Emillia even caught her in the middle of a terrible coughing fit that left her looking about to collapse at any second.

It didn't take long for her to figure out that Avery was sick. She was trying hard to hide it, and in the morning before the three girls walked down to breakfast, she was able to keep anyone from knowing. However, her illness was so bad that it was impossible to keep hidden when they were playing such a strenuous game.

All at once, Emillia reached down and picked up the soccer ball. She noticed several confused looks, one of them from Avery herself. "Avery, are you sick?"

The blonde shook her head, then had to blink away the spots on the edges of her vision. "No, I'm fine. Are we playing or not?"

"Nope." She tossed the ball to one of her teammates, took her friend by the arm and shouted to their coach, "Coach, Avery's sick. Can I take her to the nurse's office?"

"Emillia, I told you, I am fine!" Avery sounded exasperated and a little embarrassed. She was promptly ignored and led away from the field when Emillia was given the go-ahead by the coach. They passed by the other girls who looked a little relieved to be able to finally play the game for once instead of having to get out of the kitchen because they couldn't take the heat. Emillia was walking at a brisk pace, humming happily to herself. "Slow down please, this isn't a race."

"Sorry." She immediately slowed drastically. They walked a little longer in silence, Emillia glancing over at Avery occasionally, worry etched in her expression. Avery had to stop then, overcome with coughs which brought her to her knees by the end of it."You should tell me, you know?"

"T-tell... tell you wh-what?" She asked, trying to catch her breath.

"When you're not okay. Friends help friends with stuff like this," she replied, smiling. "It's okay not to be strong all the time. I'm not, and I know when to admit it. It's hard sometimes, sure, but... you can trust people. They're not gonna attack you just because you have a cold." She held out a hand to help her up from the grass.

Avery stared at it for a second before taking it. "You're too insightful, has anyone ever told you that?" She didn't wait for a response. "But you're also a bit naive, Emillia. You can't trust people. Not all people, not even most people. It is possible that things would be different if we were human but..." her words trailed off. They started walking again.

"Oh, I know that, silly! Of course you can't trust everyone... I know what betrayal feels like. It hurts. But you can't take it so personally that you let it ruin everything else that's still good. You have to have a balance. And you have to..." she tapped her chin, thinking, "keep singing!"

Avery raised an eyebrow and wiped sweat off her forehead. "Singing?"

Emillia nodded. "Yep! It's like Dory from Finding Nemo... only it's relevant. Every time something sad happens, you sing so loud that you can't hear your own sad thoughts over the notes."

Avery was getting extremely dizzy by this point, and wanted nothing more than to get to the nurse's office so she could lie down. However, she promised herself she'd remember Sicily's words and think about them later. They got to the steps leading up to the infirmary a few minutes later. Emillia hopped up two steps and stood in front of Avery, stopping her before she could go any further. "Aaaavverryy?"

The taller girl struggled to focus on her face, but everything as blurry. "What?"

"Are you delusional?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, yes, I'm sure." Actually she wasn't, but she could make an educated guess.

A pause. "How would you know? I think most delusional people don't know if they're delusional." Sicily suddenly snapped her fingers with an excited smile, coming up with the perfect idea. "Got it!" She ran up the rest of the steps and stood by the door. "How many fingers am I holding up?" She waved three fingers around wildly.

Avery facepalmed. "How is that supposed to judge anything except my eyesight? And stop that, you're just making me dizzier."

"Ooh, this is bad. You're worse than I thought." She ran back down and started pushing Avery towards the office. "Go go go! There's no time to loose soldier!"

"Yes sir!" Avery realized a second too late that Sicily was not her commander and she didn't have to take orders from her, but by then they were already halfway up the stairs, so it didn't matter anyway. They crashed through the doors like an army of two on a mission, with Emillia shoving her forward so she ran head-first into the glass. They startled the patients and secretary already there with their dramatic entrance, and Sicily ran up to the desk as Berlin held her injured forehead.

"Can I help you girls?"

"Yes ma'am," Emillia chirped. "My soldier here is highly delusional and doesn't even know it." She glanced back at Avery, then turned to the secretary with a sheepish smile. "And she's injured... but that's mostly my fault. Can you fix it?"

The secretary seemed unfazed, like this scene was something that happened all the time. "Honey, I don't think your friend is delusional at all. All she needs is to get some sleep and she'll be fine."

"Oh." _Well, at least I tried. _"Avery you can-" She spun around, expecting to find her standing there by the door. Instead, Avery was in the waiting room, curled up on a much-too-short couch and fast asleep. Sicily put her hands on her hips, just watching for a second. "Aww, that's so cuuuute! You're like a little puppy or something! Okay then." She took the blanket off the back of the couch and draped it on her. "I'll be back later, kay?"

Emillia saluted the secretary. She marched out of the office, past the administration building, and right back to the soccer field. "Ladies and gentlemen," she whispered contently, "my job here is done."

OoO

Belle was in a bit of a... situation, so to speak. She needed advice, and fast. Now normally if she needed help with something, she would just go to one of her friends. But that was the problem. Her friends were very much involved in the situation, and the only ones who weren't were currently who-knows-where.

And that's how she ended up at the library (under the false pretense of being in there to check out a book on swing dancing) talking to the library aids, Maria and Cassandra. Cassandra Densen, the shy but sensible Greenlander, was in Belle's drama class. They had spoken several times and Belle considered her to be a tentative friend, or at least more then an acquaintance. Plus, she knew everyone involved- this was because her best friend Maria made it a point to know everything and everyone, and then gossip about it later to Cassandra.

"I... I need some advice, Cass."

Cassandra paused in her reshelving of books. "About what?"

Belle blushed. "Guys."

Maria, who had been halfway across the library fixing the cork-board pins, was instantly at her side. "Oooh! Is someone in love? Me digas!"

Belle quickly shook her head. "No no no! Not in love. I barely know the fella. Just in like."

Maria raised an eyebrow. "Honey, there's no such thing. You're either in love or in lust, now which is it?"

"Oh just let her talk. It's no crime to like a guy without wanting to marry and/or sleep with him. Hey, do you mind helping me with this?" Cassandra gestured to the cart full of books which needed to be reshelved. She began pushing it down the biography isle, stopping at the L section, with Maria and Belle following. Maria rolled her eyes good-naturedly, but started to help all the same. Having nothing better to do and wanting to be useful, Belle picked up a book herself and started to find its own spot while talking.

"You see, I like this guy. I really do. He seems nice and he's cute- yes, I think he's a bit full of himself, but it's nothing too bad. Plus, he's really funny and interesting, and even though my life is a little dull," _What parts of it I can tell him about, at least,_ "he's always interested in what I have to say. I just... like him."

"So then make your move!" Maria said, waving around a copy of 'Confessions of a Tax Collector'. "What's the problem?"

She sighed. "The problem is that all my friends who've met him hate him! I mean, I trust their judgement on one hand and I don't think they have bad intentions, but I trust my own judgement too. If it was just one person who didn't like him it wouldn't be so bad, but... well, let's just say it's a lot more than one."

Cassandra nodded in understanding. "So you're saying that because everyone thinks this, there must be a reason. Something you're missing because you're so in-like with this guy."

"Exactly!"

"...Is this Dawson we're talking about, by any chance?"

"Heh... yeah. Was it really that obvious?" She knelt down to shelve the book, moving out of the way of another library-goer.

Cassandra turned around, pushing the cart with an amused smile on her face, "With the way you two act in drama class? Yes. And in this case, I going to have to agree with your friends. Dawson O'Brady is nothing but trouble. You can make your own decisions of course, but if you ask me, getting involved with him is a mistake."

"Stop trying to get in the way of love, amiga!" Maria dismissed her with a wave of the hand. "Don't listen to her," she said to Belle, "I know him too, and he's a real catch! And those muscles, _dios mio_!" She threw back her head and laughed, leaning against one of the shelves. The librarian quickly hushed her, but she ignored it. Maria winked at Belle with a smile, "Don't worry so much, chica. Besides, even if they're right, so what? What's gonna happen that's so terrible? Just don't do something stupid like get yourself knocked up, and you'll be fine~"

Belle blushed again, and Cassandra elbowed her friend in the side. "I... I don't think I'll have to worry about that, but thanks for the advice." _I don't think I could get pregnant if I tried, but still. I could never do stuff like that. Especially not with Dawson- he's probably done it with half the girls in this school!_

"Any time," Maria answered.

"You're welcome. But whichever way you choose to go with him," Cassandra interjected, "You may want to choose quickly. Guys can be clingy, and it gets worse with time. There's the pep-rally tonight you know. Try talking to him then. Maybe that'll help you figure things out."

Belle waved them goodbye and headed out of the library. Even though she was sure they'd given her the best advice they could, for some reason she felt even more confused than when she'd come in.

OoO

Later that day, the boys' PE teacher had decided not to show up to class. He sent a note to his students, leaving them to their own devices with a stern warning that there would be hell to pay if they killed each other while he was gone. They probably would have started up a game of football or soccer, but the balls were all being held hostage by the head coach. So with nothing better to do, everyone was out at the football field, sitting on the bleachers and talking or staring at the girls' PE class running the track.

"Dude, Milos, have you no decency?" Nikolai shifted positions, bringing his knees to his chest as he shamelessly stared at the girls as well. He was a hypocrite- he admitted it.

Milos tore his gaze away from a cute red-head who was talking and giggling with her friends long enough to say, "I have no idea what you're talking about, I was just looking at..." Think fast. "The bushes. Yes, the lovely green bushes over there. Unlike you, I don't gawk at females as though they were objects."

"Riiiight. Are you like some kind of ladies man or whatever? You strike me as the type."

"Hmm, no, I don't think so," he admitted. "And besides, my experience with girls is... limited."

Nikolai nodded absently, thinking. "Do you... This is gonna sound so weird, but have you ever... kissed a girl before? I mean, what's it like?"

Instantly, Milos found himself wishing that this conversation had never started to begin with. How could anyone just suddenly _ask_ this stuff? He couldn't blame him for being curious, but weren't there better people to talk to? "Bre, what kind of a question is that? Shouldn't you ask your parents this?"

"That's a joke, right?"

"Not really. I'm sure Big Brother would tell you this stuff if you asked him." He rolled his eyes. "Or that other bastard."

"Yeah, they would. That's the problem." His words made no sense, but he didn't seem likely to elaborate. "But either way, I didn't ask them. I asked _you_."

So much for avoiding the question. "I- I just don't know if I'm the right person to be asking..." Milos was wondering how it was possible that he was the only one who found this conversation awkward. It really couldn't get much worse.

"It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

And it just got worse.

He jumped up from the bench. "WHAT? NO! Where are you getting these ideas? Stop that!"

"Stop what?" Nikolai asked innocently.

"Asking perverted questions!"

"It's not perverted, it's a perfectly logical thing to ask! It's not my fault you can't just give a straight answer." He thought about that statement for a second. "Heh, straight answer. Okay, that was a terrible pun. But the point still stands."

"Look, I am not gay, alright? I am straight as an arrow, as a pencil, as a..." He was running out of comparisons. " as a _very, very straight object_!" Milos's gaze shifted to stare at the ground as he muttered, "I've just never exactly kissed anyone on the lips before..."

"Oh. Well why didn't you say so to begin with?"

Milos changed the subject abruptly, "So, are you going to that pep-rally tonight?" He was desperate to get away from the previous topic, mainly because he felt that discussing it further was going to make him loose large numbers of brain cells- and he'd already lost a few arguing with Dawson the day before. He dropped back down onto the bench. "What is a pep-rally anyway?"

"It's some stupid thing they do in schools to get the kids all excited about sports and stuff. They cram everyone in the gym and the band plays so loud you can't hear yourself think, and the sports teams come out, and there's a lot of screaming and 'school spirit' or _whatever_. I hope it dies in a ditch," he said, eyes darkening a bit creepily. "But no, I'm not going. I got detention for skipping a meeting with the school councilor."

Milos raised an eyebrow. "How... convenient. Still, that's too bad. Avery told me that they're going to discuss student council elections, and Kyoya is going to make a speech." Milos glanced back at the capitol city himself who was currently near the top of the bleachers, reading over said speech, whispering it to himself. "It's a bit funny. This whole time, I had always been under the impression that he was afraid of public speaking."

"Yeah, ditto..." They exchanged glances. Kyoya wasn't really... was he? "But you're going though, right?"

"Is it mandatory?"

"Yep."

"Then I don't have much of a choice, do I?"

"That depends on how you look at it."

Milos put his chin in his hands, gazing out at the fence line around the football field. "Actually, I think I'd like to go. I want to see this whole 'pep-rally' thing for myself, plus Kyoya's speech."

The bell rang, and the whole class reluctantly got up and began walking towards the gym. "Whatever, dude. It's your funeral."

OoO

**So yeah, that's pretty much what a pep-rally is like, just in case there's anyone who doesn't know. They're kind of annoying because they're so loud. At my school, going to pep-rallies isn't mandatory (but pretty much everyone goes anyway), and there's a room you can go to if you don't want to go to the rally. Unfortunately, this room is in building 7, which is known by the AP kids as 'the really scary building for all the ghetto gangsters and rednecks who will beat you up and/or shank you if given half a chance'... so I'm too scared to go there. *is shanked***

**Also, I got to use some of my epic Spanish skillz in this chapter which made me happy~ (thank God I'm not taking Spanish 4 next year!)**

**Aw Kleptogirl, you're not an idiota, and it wasn't a waste of my time at all. I'm just sorry for wasting your time filling out that application.**

**Hm, I guess that's it. See you all next chapter! :)**


	8. Sicily and Tokyo's Guide to Stealth

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 6**

"Avery? Hey, Avery, are you here?"

It was two hours after the end of school, and Emillia was back at the nurse's office, along with Kyoya. They'd come into the waiting room, only to find that the secretary's shift was over and that Berlin was no where to be found.

"Perhaps she went back to the dorms," Kyoya suggested. "We should check there."

"No, she was here. We've barely gotten in the door- there's still a lot of rooms to look in. Now come on!" She grabbed his arm and began dragging him with her down the narrow white hall of the infirmary.

He tried to pull back, but surprisingly, she was even stronger than him. "Emillia," he whispered, looking around worriedly to make sure they hadn't been caught, "we aren't supposed to be here. This is off-limits to anyone but patients and staff. We are going to get in trouble!"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, stop worrying so much. We'll be fi-" She stopped dead in her tracks.

"Emillia-san, is something-" Emillia tugged him back, still clutching his arm.

"Shh!" she hissed, and he stopped talking. She could have sworn she'd heard faint voices coming from down the hall. She listened closely for something, anything. Kyoya listened as well, though he didn't know what he was listening _for_ exactly. Suddenly, the slightest of voice-like sounds emanated from one of the rooms. "There!" she whispered, pointing up ahead and trying to keep her footsteps quiet as she walked slowly towards it.

Kyoya nearly had a heart-attack at the thought. "What?" He grabbed onto the nearest doorframe, trying to use it to brace himself against the force of her pull. "Stop! We're going to get caught. Please, let's head back!"

Clearly reaching the end of her patience, she started trying to pry him away from the doorframe which he clutched for dear life. "You are being a scardy-kitty, Kyoya!"

"Gyahh, Emillia!"

She gave a hard yank, and he lost his grip. He fell into her, and she knocked over a trash-can on the way down. They crashed on the floor in a very loud heap.

"Who's there?" Sicily heard someone ask.

She scrambled to stand up, and pulled the disoriented Kyoya up as well. She glanced in both directions, wildly searching for a place to hide. Kyoya gestured with his head to the secretary's desk. "Over there," he whispered.

They both scurried quietly to the desk and ducked behind it, holding their breaths and desperately hoping they hadn't been seen. There were footsteps coming towards their hiding spot, stopping just a few feet short. Emillia could see the person's legs. It was obviously a grown man, and he was wearing something resembling a suit and casual work shoes. "Didn't you hear something?"

Another person stepped next to them. This one was female, and they could tell it was a student from the uniform skirt she wore. "Yes, it sounded like someone- no, two people- were here, but they must have left." _Avery_.

Upon hearing her speak, Kyoya and Emillia exchanged shocked and confused glances, wishing they could speak to each other, but not daring it.

"Ah, I see. Well, it was very nice speaking to you, Miss Herrmann, but I'm afraid I have to be going."

"Yes," Avery said formally, "It was pleasant. I hope we can speak again some time, but I won't keep you busy any longer, sir. Have a nice day."

There were the heavy footsteps of the man going away from them, then the sound of the door opening and closing. The two teens hidden behind the desk still didn't move, uncertain of whether the coast was clear yet. After a few minutes, "He's gone. Emillia, Kyoya, I know you're there."

Emillia popped out and glomped Avery, who had seen it coming a mile away. "Avery, you're alive!"

"As opposed to what? Dead? It would take more than a little cold to kill me," she said with a little laugh.

"Who was that man who just left?" Kyoya inquired, coming out and heading for the door. He peeked out, just to make sure no one was around outside.

"The principal. By the end of the day I was feeling much better, and he just happened to be in the office. We talked for a little while. Frankly, I don't know what everyone's issue with him is. He's a good, hardworking and proper individual."

"Ah, Avery-san, I don't mean to push you, and if you're not up to it I completely understand, but are you still coming to the pep-rally? Your help would be much appreciated," he quickly corrected, not wanting to seem rude, "but again, if you can't-"

Avery knew he could go on with apologies and trying not to offend her for hours, but it was entirely unnecessary anyway, "Kyoya," she interjected firmly, "I'm fine. Of course I'll be there." Though she was still feeling a bit under the weather, after getting some sleep and taking medicine, she was definitely better than she had been earlier that day. And she was certainly well enough to support his campaign at the rally- especially since she knew he was internally freaking out about the whole thing, even if he'd never admit it. _Someone_ had to have their head on straight around here.

The minute she said that, the relief was obvious in his expression. Public speaking was not something he generally looked forward to.

"Well, can we go now, or were you two here for something else?" she asked, though the question seemed to be directed entirely at Emillia.

She laughed nervously. "Heh, si, I think we're done. Right? Right."

She was the first one out the door.

OoO

That night in the girls' dorm room, all three of them were getting ready to go to the pep-rally which started in an hour. Since it wasn't required to wear school uniforms once the school day was over, most girls at Ashton took the opportunity to dress casually but nicely, if only to prove that yes, they did actually have a figure underneath that modest school uniform.

Belle put on a white, lacy knee-length dress which was tied in back with a red bow, and she kept her hair down, simply clipping part of it back with a bobby-pin. She looked like she'd just stepped off the set of Gone with the Wind (minus the hoop skirt), but somehow she made it work.

"Aw, you look so cute," Emillia exclaimed. She'd decided to wear her favorite bright yellow sun-dress which was covered with lots of little pink and red flowers which were spaced out so that the pattern looked like hearts from a distance. She finished braiding her hair and tied it off with a yellow ribbon. "Are you dressing up for anyone special?"

"Oh, no, course not. I just like this dress."

Emillia put a hand on her hip, clearly not buying it. However, thankfully for her, before Emillia could interrogate her further, Avery came out from the bathroom where she'd been getting changed. Unlike Belle and Emillia who enjoyed wearing cute clothes, Avery felt entirely uncomfortable in the school uniform. She had actually never worn a dress before coming to Ashton, and she spent the entire time trying to pull her uniform skirt down and feeling self-conscious and silly. So when given the opportunity to dress the way she wanted, she opted to wear a simple pair of light blue jeans and a black tank-top. Immediately, Emillia found her appearance completely unacceptable and insisted, "Oh, Avery, you should wear some make-up. Maybe some mascara and blush, and of course some eye-shadow."

Avery went over to the closet and turned around to hang up her uniform. "Uh, nein. I'm not really a make-up person- besides, I don't own any make-up. It's impractical."

"Oh?" Emillia replied innocently. She came closer, smirking mischievously, gesturing with her head for Belle to do the same. Avery turned around, and the other two girls suddenly grabbed her by the arms and literally dragged her to the chair by the desk. Belle pushed her into it as Emilllia began gathering supplies. Clearly, they found the whole thing more than a little amusing. "Don't worry, you'll thank us later!"

"What the-? Let me go! This is uncalled for!" She tried to stand, but Sicily pushed her back down again.

"Avery, we will tie you to this chair if we have to. Just trust us, it'll be fun." She turned to Belle, "Foundation?"

Berlin gave up, if only because she didn't want to ignite Sicily's wrath. She thought back to what had happened to the man at the airport and shivered. This was definitely one of those pick-your-battles moments.

To say that it was painful would be the understatement of the century. Avery had never known that other girls went to such great lengths to make themselves look prettier. She'd never had the patience for things like this; she could understand wanting to look nice and respectable, but pretty? What was the point? It had always seemed silly to her. Suffice to say, it sure didn't seem silly anymore. Avery had been shot, sliced, burned, and stabbed without batting an eyelash, but this? Worse. Easily worse. She almost started crying when Sicily applied the mascara.

"I didn't see you down at dinner tonight," Emillia said to Belle as she finished with the blush. "Where were you?"

Belle shrugged awkwardly, not really wanting to answer. But it seemed like Emillia was waiting for her to say something so she just replied, "Oh, I wasn' real hungry, so I just stayed in here and read."

"Aw, don't to that! We missed you!" Belle wasn't quite sure who would miss her after not seeing her for barely even a few hours, but she didn't say anything. "Besides," Emillia poked Belle in the side, "you're so skinny, you shouldn't skip dinner."

Belle just rolled her eyes and laughed, "What are you, my parent? No, I take that back- Dad doesn't care what the heck I eat. Still, don' worry 'bout it. In fact, if I were you, Emillia, I'd be more worried about passing Driver's ed after what happened today."

"Oh no," Avery groaned. "What was it this time?"

"It wasn't even my fault!" She threw one arm out to the side dramatically, whacking Belle in the face with it. "Oops, sorry." She smiled sheepishly before turning back to Avery. "Some idiota cut me off, and I just politely told him why that wasn't very nice."

"You cursed at him in at least four languages!" Belle argued.

"Very politely!"

Avery glanced at the clock on the desk, then checked her own wrist-watch. "As much as I'd love to continue having my face poisoned with chemicals, it's going to start in half an hour. I've got to go." She grabbed her cell phone off the desk and was out the door before the others could ask why she was in such a hurry.

"Wonder where she's going," Emillia wondered curiously, "It only takes less than five minutes to get to the gym."

"Probably just trying to escape us."

Emillia's brows knit together uncomprehendingly. "Now why would she want to do that?"

OoO

Belle and Emillia left the room just a few minutes before the pep-rally was scheduled to begin. There was a note of excitement in the air, as teens raced down the halls yelling and laughing, with school colors painted on their faces and sitting in the isle with markers and half-finished signs that read 'Go Ashton Wombat Warriors!' close at hand. The girls navigated their way around the madness, spotting Milos by the staircase. Both of them had been attacked by the girl next door, Sydney, with blue face-paint, and now sported matching wombat pictures on their faces (at least, Sydney claimed they were wombats. They looked suspiciously like turtles though...).

Milos decidedly lacked any kind of school spirit, not even wearing so much as a scrap of the school colors. He didn't get far before Sydney caught up with him, smeared his cheeks with face-paint, and ran off laughing like a maniac.

"Where are the others?" Belle asked as they watched Sydney continue to terrorize the halls- not that anyone really minded.

"Oh, Kyoya went down to the gym with Avery. They went to get instructions from the coordinator, I think. And Nikolai's in detention."

Just then, a small, dark-haired boy in a bulky wombat costume barreled right into them. He was clutching the head of the costume under his arm, but had nearly tripped over the tail. He was out of breath and sweating, and he apologized profusely, though not entirely coherently.

"What's with the costume, Castel?" Milos asked, studying the brown furry fabric with a strange combination of awe and shock.

Castel lifted his arms, looking down at his own costume. "I'm a wombat... You know, the school mascot," he said, unsure.

Milos nodded as though Castel had just explained the meaning of life. "Of course. I knew that." That was a lie. Castel looked more like a weird bear-platypus than a wombat, but Milos sure wasn't going to tell him that.

Castel heaved out a deep breath. "Oh man, oh man..." he tried to turn around to look at the back of the costume, but the costume of course would turn with him, so he ended up just spinning in circles. "Is the tail on right? I really hope the tail's on right."

"It's fine, I think." What was a wombat tail supposed to look like?

Castel didn't seem to have heard him. "What time is it?"

"Hey, just relax, the rally doesn't start for another five minutes," Belle said, trying not to laugh at the odd sight.

His eyes widened. "Five minutes! Sorry, I've gotta go! Clara'll kill me if I'm late!" And with that, he raced down the hall, ugly wombat tail bobbing up and down with every step.

"...That was strange."

"Yep," Belle and Emillia replied in unison.

**OoO**

**Castel's epic wombat costume (take out spaces): http:/www. members. optusnet. com. au/oceanyuentoys/images/wombat. jpg**

**And I am back from the dead! This chapter was originally over 4,000 words long (and there was still stuff I wanted to add), but in the end that seemed a little ridiculous, so I split it into two chapters. Sorry for the long wait peoples!**


	9. World Domination? You're Doing it Wrong

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 7**

"Avery-san... I... I'm a bit nervous..."

That was the understatement of the century. Kyoya was shaking so badly he could barely stand, and the last time they'd practiced his speech he was too nervous to remember most of it. Avery was starting to worry that he'd faint before he could even get up on stage.

"Don't be," she said firmly. One of them had to have confidence in him, and since he didn't... "You will be absolutely fine."

People were filing into the gym en masse, and it was getting louder and more crowded by the second. The two capitol cities were standing on the sidelines of the gym's regulation basketball court, which was overlooked by the stage. Kyoya had a stack of papers clutched in his shaking hands, and nearly jumped three feet in the air and scattered them all over the floor when the band began to play. Avery took him by the elbow and led him over to the stairs next to the stage.

"Just do it exactly the way we practiced. Don't be nervous- there's no reason to be nervous and it accomplishes nothing. Just pretend there's no one watching, but speak up. It won't matter what you say if you're too quiet. Also, don't look down at your paper, look at the audience. And whatever you do, don't stutter, and don't mess up, and certainly don't-" She stopped, seeing that she was doing nothing but scaring the young Asian. She tried again, in a softer tone which felt weird to her, "And... have confidence in yourself. You'll do great. Trust me."

He nodded, unable to make his voice work yet. He hoped that was only temporary.

"Alright Ashton!" Clara bounded up on stage, clad in a cheerleading outfit and followed by Castel the wombat. She stood in front of the mic and yelled, "Is everybody ready!" There was a roaring cheer in response from the crowd. "I _said_, IS EVERYBODY READY!" The cheers grew even louder. "Great! Now everybody give a great big welcome to everybody's favorite animal, the Wombat Warrior!"

More cheers, and a techno song started playing. The mascot began doing some ridiculous dance and hopping around more-or-less in time to the beat. If someone could have seen inside that suit, they would have come across a very hot and miserable teenager who was hoping that no one would ever speak of this again. Castel was only doing this because Clara had begged him after their usual mascot was out of commission with a broken arm. She had given him those big puppy-dog eyes and said 'please? please? please?' repeatedly until he gave in. After that, he just couldn't bear to go back on his word, especially not after she'd hugged him like he'd just made her whole week.

The song came to and end and Castel attempted something vaguely resembling a break-dance move. He ended up sprawled out on the floor of the stage, laying on his side. He did a fist-pump to make up for the fact that he'd pretty much fallen into this position. No one seemed to care, and cheered wildly for him anyway. Clara helped him up, still smiling. She mouthed 'thank you' to him, and then shouted into the mic, "Now wasn't he just wombat-tastic? Let's give it up for the Wombat Warrior!" He waved to the crowd before mercifully being allowed to exit the stage.

He took off the costume head as he passed Kyoya and Avery. "That crowd's brutal," he told them, wiping the sweat off of his forehead.

After that, Clara introduced the sports teams, the cheerleaders cheered, and the rally continued pretty normally for the next half-hour.

"So as you all know," Clara said as they were nearing the end, and Castel and the others listened intently. "School elections are just around the corner. And today, we have several of our candidates here to speak about the issues that matter most. With that being said, everyone get ready for our first speaker. Running for the office of Student Council Treasurer, it's Kyoya Honda!"

He froze.

"That's you," Avery whispered. He didn't move so she shoved him up the first step. "Go! It'll be okay."

Snapped out of whatever trance he'd been in, Kyoya slowly ascended the steps. He replaced Clara at the mic, papers held tightly against his chest. He kept having to remind himself to breathe. "H-hello..." The speakers glitched, and there was a loud screech that made everyone wince. "M-my n-name is Kyoya Honda... a-and I would like t-to be your c-class t-tr-treasurer..." He glanced down nervously at his papers, but the words were blurring. If he hadn't known better, he would have sworn the whole thing was written in Greek. "I... I have some policies I'd like to discuss here today if um..." He flipped through until he found one section in particular. "First is... is what I would like to do regarding the student council budget. I would like t-to..."

Castel, wombat head firmly back in place, made his way along the edge below the stage. Obviously, no one was paying any attention anymore. There were whispers and giggles from the crowd, and it was all just making Kyoya even more nervous.

However, he was completely and totally determined to finish his speech, no matter what. He hadn't gotten this far just to chicken-out now. He began again with a slight note of confidence in his voice, "M-my first act would be to hold fund-raisers that are not on school grounds. Uh, right now, the Student Council's only revenue comes from the students- from yearbooks, the vending machines, and from what is sold in the rec room- but we could make much more money by doing things like holding bake sales and car washes out in the community. We would then be able to-"

He'd managed to gain a good portion of the crowd's attention once he stopped stuttering, and things were going a bit better. Unfortunately, that didn't last long. Suddenly, there was a crash off-stage, followed by a battle-cry. "Tonight is the night I shall finally do it! Tonight, I take over the world! Fly, my turtles, fly like the wiiinnnndd!"

_Wait, huh?_

A mass of toy turtles, all attached to cute little parachutes (on which, it said 'Vote 4 Sydney!') and spurred on by a giant fan, swarmed the stage. They rose into the air, flying in a clump which slowly began to spread out. They headed straight for Kyoya, at least five of them knocking into his head. He found that they actually hurt a bit because of a particular sharp attachment, so he started dodging them. "Wh-what is going on here?" He jumped left, then twisted right, then hopped over a pair of them, looking like he was performing some strange routine.

And when that didn't work and it began to seem like all the turtles were specifically gunning for him, Kyoya did the only thing he could do. He started judo-chopping them. He swatted down several in one fell swoop, though another caught him in the temple. Then he kicked one of the bigger ones and dodged a cluster of three. He leaned too much to the side and a smaller turtle hit his outstretched arm.

In the background, the words 'Vote Sydney for School Dictator!' flickered on the projector screen next to a picture of a cartoon turtle giving a thumbs-up.

"Hey! What the heck? STOP KILLING MY BABIES!" One second, Kyoya was fighting off flying toy turtles, the next he was being pile-drived into the ground by a pissed-off Sydney. She screamed and ran at him, barreling into him and ramming him backwards with her shoulder. Kyoya lost his balance so they both toppled backwards. He felt himself falling and prayed that they wouldn't fall off the stage, but when he saw the stage floor directly in front of him when it should have been under him, he decided maybe this whole speech thing had been a bad idea.

"OH CRAP!" Sydney yelled.

They free-fell off the edge of the stage...

And right onto the poor, unfortunate mascot.

All dignity the event may have maintained was completely gone by that point. Most of the audience was laughing, and Kyoya couldn't blame them. If it hadn't been him, he would have been laughing too. Clara, Avery, and some of the teachers rushed out to make sure that everyone was okay. They pried Sydney and Kyoya off the floor and, though he felt guilty about it later, Kyoya couldn't bear to stay long enough to see the extent of Castel's injuries (though he did of course offer a sincere apology before bolting out the back door).

He headed to a spot behind the rec room where no one would think to look for him, and gave himself the chance to sulk. After this fiasco, he was in desperate need of a good sulking, but just for a little while. He sat, leaning against a wall, thankful for the alone time and wondering if there was any possible way in which he could stay invisible- not forever, just until the end of the year. Or better yet, a way to make the whole school forget that this night had ever happened. Now that he thought about it, a time machine would work too.

Eventually, he noticed that he had been gone for a full hour, so he decided that this was more than enough time to spend feeling sorry for himself. He was completely over it. Next on the list was finding Avery and coming up with a plan for damage control and to figure out how to save his campaign.

He got up and walked to the dorms, trying to avoid his classmates as much as possible. To his surprise, he found Avery waiting at the top of the staircase. She glanced at her watch. "You're three minutes late," she said.

"I had to take the long way around because of the freshmen playing frisbee in the courtyard," he explained.

She nodded in understanding. "I see. Well, frankly, I'm not quite sure what to do. On one hand things couldn't have gone much worse... but on the other hand, they couldn't have gone much better either."

"Excuse me?"

Avery slowly meandered down the hallway towards the Alpha dorms, and since there was no one around, he followed her. "I mean that even though it was a train-wreck, when it comes to teenage humans, they really don't care. You were funny. You were memorable. If the speech had gone exactly as planned, they wouldn't have remembered a word you said. Guaranteed. But because of what happened... you're not just another boring person who gave a speech. You have an identity. And in this race, that's what matters most."

He thought about that for a long moment, until it finally dawned on him. "So... hope is not lost?"

She stopped at her dorm room, hand on the doorknob. Not even looking at him, she answered, "No. Hope is not lost. Far from it. Besides, don't forget, you _are_ still the only one running."

She opened her door, and Kyoya heard Milos call from the other end of the hall, "Bre, that stupid curfew was five minutes ago! So get over here before I sic a mob of flying turtles on you!" At the last part, Milos couldn't help but burst out laughing at his own bad joke.

Kyoya waved Avery goodbye and reluctantly went back to his own dorm room. Once inside, he was pretty sure that Milos had only called him in to tease him about what had happened. So before Milos had the chance to say one word, Kyoya cut him off with, "If you mention this again, I will break every bottle of Rakija in a five mile radius." Alright, so maybe Kyoya wasn't _completely_ over it yet.

Milos paled. "You _wouldn't_."

_Probably not_, he thought. "Wouldn't I?"

Milos spent a few moments trying to decide if Kyoya was being serious, and came to the conclusion that he was. "...You are a cold, cruel person. I just thought you should know this."

"I'm sorry." But not really.

"Come on," Milos said a bit too cheerfully as Kyoya began typing furiously on his laptop, "I'm sure you'd make a great Student Council Secretary."

He stopped typing momentarily. "I'm running for Treasurer."

"Really? I always pictured you as more of the secretary type."

Kyoya wasn't quite sure what to say to this. He changed the subject, not wanting to think any more about his horrendous performance or the election in general. "Do you know something odd, though? When the football team came out, I noticed that Dawson wasn't there. Isn't he the quarterback? Come to think of it, a lot of the team wasn't there."

"Yeah," Milos nodded, scribbling down random answers on math homework which probably wouldn't be graded for accuracy anyway. "You didn't hear? According to Belle, who heard from Sydney, who heard from Castel, who heard from Clara, who heard from Emilio, who was there, Dawson and half the football team were caught smoking behind the rec room."

Kyoya wasn't sure which was more shocking: this little piece of news, or the fact that Milos was now part of the school gossip circle. "So they're suspended? That's unfortunate considering that the first football game of the season is next week."

"Wait, how do you know the football team's game schedule?" Who the heck honestly cared about the football team's schedule?

"As future Student Council Treasurer, it is my duty to be aware of important activities like this."

"Uh-huh... well, no, of course they're not suspended! Apparently- and keep in mind I got all this information from Belle- Dawson is just about the best quarterback Ashton's ever had, _and_ he's the principal's son. They probably just had to miss the rally, but they're certainly not going to miss the game."

Kyoya thought about this for a long moment. "Dawson O'Brady is the Headhunter's son?"

"Yes. Do you remember that one place that was shut down a few years ago?" It took him a minute to remember the name. "Echo. That was it. He worked there for years before he became a principal. Didn't you know that?"

Something about the whole scene struck him as being terribly odd. "No, I didn't know, but..." He shook the silly thought out of his head, saving whatever he'd typed and closing up his laptop. "It is nothing. Just an odd coincidence." He went to bed before Milos could ask anything else. "I'm going to sleep. Goodnight, Milos-san."

He shrugged, a bit confused at Kyoya's strange behavior. "Good night." He looked down at his homework and put on the finishing touches (it looked so elaborate, _he_ might have believed he'd actually done the work if he hadn't known better). "Done, finally! You're no fun, Kyoya. It's only 11:30, and it's a weekend, so why are you going to bed so early?" He didn't get an answer, not that he was expecting one anyway. "Huh, I guess I'll just play Tetris for a few hours. Oh, next level! Bre, I love the Tetris theme!" He soon realized he was talking to himself, but decided he didn't care and started humming along to the music. For two hours straight.

OoO

Meanwhile...

"D-does it hurt...?" Clara asked, voice riddled with worry as she sat next to Castel on the pavement outside the gym. People were bustling to and fro since the rally had just ended, and the paramedics had arrived to take Castel to the hospital to fix a broken arm. Considering that that was how the old mascot had gotten hurt, he found the whole thing a little ironic... in a bad way.

Since it wasn't a life-or-death case, the paramedics were finishing up making sure everything was cleared with the school before taking Castel into the ambulance. He sighed, shifting his broken left arm as carefully as possible and wincing in the process. He met Clara's apologetic gaze and offered a small, nervous smile in return. "N-nah... it's not too bad." That was a lie. He'd dealt with worse, but this was far from painless. But she looked like she was going to cry if he was in any pain, just to try and take it away- and he'd much rather see her laugh than cry.

"I'm so, so sorry about all this. I know you weren't exactly thrilled about this mascot job, and if I hadn't pressured you into helping, this never would have happened!" she lamented with tears pricking the edges of her vision.

_Ah, no no no! Don't cry, please don't cry!_ "That's not true at all! I... I kinda liked being the mascot, you know, up until Ninja-Kid and his faithful sidekick, Dances with Turtles, decided to crowd surf on my face."

Clara giggled, and Castel blushed, feeling his heat-beat quicken. At least she wasn't going to cry anymore. "You're so funny!"

He blushed even harder, thankful for the fact that it wasn't bright enough outside for her to tell. "Um, thanks. Well, I... I know things didn't turn out the way you'd planned, and I'm sorry I couldn't have done more to help, but if it's any consolation... I thought you did really well announcing and all..."

One of the paramedics came up to him and motioned for him to climb up onto the stretcher so they could get him in the ambulance. He did so, then turned back to Clara as soon as he was settled in. "I guess I'll see you in class on Monday, hopefully sooner."

She nodded. "Much sooner."

Now this sounded like an opportunity. He gulped, feeling nervous beyond all comprehension. But he was able to ask in a slightly squeaky voice, "L-like... t-tomorrow? You wanna, um, h-hang out together in the rec room?"

She smiled brightly. "Are you trying to ask me out on a date?"

Oh no. Here it was. The complete and total rejection he'd known was coming from the start. Why did he have to be so stupid? Where did he ever get the idea that he had even a fraction of a chance with her? "Y-you're right, it was silly to suggest. Sorry. Forget I mentioned it."

"No, no! I'd really like that, actually!"

See, and now she was just going to make it worse by- Wait. Did she just say yes? "...Really?"

Clara nodded. "Absolutely. Okay, well it seems like you're a bit busy now, so I'd better be going. But I'll see you tomorrow, kay?" Then she did something he never would have expected. She leaned in, gave him a quick peck on the cheek, then turned around and skipped off. It all happened unbearably fast- so fast he thought he may have just imagined it, but when he put his fingers to his cheek, the skin felt sticky, like from lip gloss.

"Hey, kid?" A female paramedic said, smirking in amusement, "Try not to faint on us, alright?"

"Okay..." he answered, but in reality he hadn't even heard the question. He was too busy trying to figure out how on earth something so terrible could be immediately proceeded by something so wonderful.

**OoO**

**Aw, well that was adorable! Heh, but the turtle thing was a little... O.o**

**Next chapter should be up next Wednesday, as usual~**


	10. Tokyo Pop 2

**Okay, so I'm a few days late with getting this out. But I'm sure no one's mad or anything, right...? *dodges bullets and pitchforks***

**On the bright side... TODAY IS STAR WARS DAY! MAY THE ****_FOURTH_**** BE WITH YOU~ (Haha, get it? Because today is May 4th and on Star Wars... aw, nevermind...)**

**OoO**

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 8**

**Tokyo Pop- The blog of Honda Kyoya**

Konnichiwa, everyone. I hope you all are doing well. I wish I could say that I am, but unfortunately, my day has been a bit of a nightmare. I'm glad it's almost over, to be honest.

I gave my speech at the rally about an hour and a half ago- well, some of it. I was interrupted though... I'd rather not go into the details since I'm almost certain my brothers read this and I would never hear the end of it if they found out. Especially after what happened last time they found out about a humiliating incident of mine... *shudders*. I still get those annoying Jehovah Witnesses knocking down my door and trying to convert me, China, and it's your fault. *tries to sulk, but can't help but feel guilty* ...Sorry. That was mean, and I shouldn't have said it.

I digress. There's really nothing that can be done. I suppose all I can do is just more forward with my campaign and hope this doesn't have a negative effect on my public approval rating.

...Did I even have a public approval rating at all before tonight?

Anyway, at the moment, I'm in the dorm room talking to Serbia. What? I can type and hold a conversation at the same time. I'm very good at multi-tasking.

He just said he thought I would make a good secretary. I'm not sure whether I should be insulted or flattered. It's very hard to tell with him... Which reminds me (actually, it doesn't, I just happened to remember anyway) I have a project due in business management next week. I'll have to get working on that tomorrow. Note to self. Also, I

Oo (the next morning~)

Sorry to have cut off so suddenly, I had to go to bed- although it was hard to sleep last night with the Tetris theme blaring until about 1 AM. In fact, I had a nightmare because of it. It was awful! Huge blocks kept falling from the sky, and I was nearly crushed into a Kyoya-pancake! *shudders*

Now I'm in the computer lab to start the project. It is an accounting spreadsheet detailing the expenses of a fictitious shoe store, complete with projected revenue and other outside expenses. It is an extremely interesting assignment, and someday I may take a while to explain the workings of budget-managing and investing and the like, which I'm sure everyone would like to read about. But not today. I'm sorry.

Since I can't delay working on it any longer- nor would I want to- I'll have say a temporary farewell.

P.S. One more thing before I forget- if any of my fellow personifications from Ashton read this, has anyone seen Alaska? He did not come back to the room last night, and something tells me that this is probably not a good thing.

Sayōnara,

Tokyo

_There are __**12** comments on this post._

**China **says: It was not my fault, aru! It was Korea!

**S. Korea **says: Nu-uh! xP Besides Kyoya, they only come back because you give them rice whenever they come over, da-ze! There should be a sign that says, 'Don't Feed the Jehovah Witnesses.'

**Serbia **says: Don't look now Tokyo, but I think your family is stalking you.

**Tokyo **says: Very well then; I will send them to your house instead, and you can entertain them as you please. Ah, yes, this is perfectly normal.

**Georgia **says: At least you were funny last night :). And no, I haven't seen him since yesterday. I hope he hasn't done anything stupid.

**Alaska **says: Me? Do something stupid? Never. I just spent the night in a supply closet.

**Serbia **says: You missed my ultimate high score to sleep in a supply closet? Shaaaaame~

**Georgia **says: You are obsessed with that game, aren't you?

**Alaska **says: Three words: Tetris Addicts Anonymous.

**Serbia **says: *rolls eyes* You guys are being completely- bre, I've gotta go, I'm almost at the next level! XD

**Georgia **says: Well... Tetris _is _pretty addicting.

**Tokyo **says: ...

**OoO**

**This weekend, I went to Wal-Mart and spent an hour walking around trying to find the maramite. Why the heck does no one here know what maramite is? When I asked an employee, I'm pretty sure she thought I was playing a prank or something~ Also, our garbage disposal is broken, and we have now been reduced to washing dishes outside with the garden hose. :(**

**Yeah, that was pretty random...**

**Heh, so sorry again about the late chapter, but hopefully I'll be back on schedule next week since (for the first time EVER) I have no AP US History homework this weekend! *dies of joy* But on the other hand, I have three AP tests next week, which is not fun. *dies of sadness***

**So long, farewell!**


	11. So There was This Hobo

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 9**

The next day was, of course, a Saturday, which meant no classes for the next two days. Everyone would have liked to sleep in until noon, but since most people also weren't about to miss breakfast, the general population of Ashton was downstairs by 9 AM.

By this time, Kyoya and Avery had been up for hours and had already eaten breakfast. Avery had gone to the gym, while Kyoya was in building 4, working on a presentation for his business administration class.

Milos, Emillia, and Belle were at the tables, along with Castel and Clara. The aforementioned replacement mascot was now sporting a bright neon green cast. (When he'd seen the damage earlier, Kyoya had immediately gone into a ten minute long apology. Castel forgave him on the condition that he'd sign his cast in Japanese.) Clara was going crazy with the markers, drawing little flowers and animals all over.

Castel laughed, feeling just a little bit self-conscious. "Hey, don't take up all the room. There are a lot of people who still have to sign."

"Just one more picture!" she insisted. She'd said that five pictures ago, but he didn't try to stop her. In fact, it was all he could do to keep himself from staring at the adorable Filipino. Her pretty, long brown hair. Her eyes, which looked almost gold when she tilted her head just right. Castel stopped himself and turned his gaze to look intently at the hard-as-a-rock cafeteria waffles, visibly blushing as he realized that he had been staring (creepily, in his opinion) for at least five minutes.

Belle, meanwhile, was having moral quandaries about the food on her tray. Immediately, she'd noticed that the breakfast food seemed to be pretty much inedible. Not that that was anything new. Most of the cafeteria food was questionable, but thankfully she'd dealt with Arthur's food long enough to have developed at least some immunity to awful cooking. At least the apples weren't rotten like they were last week.

She heard the sound of a tray being put down on the table at the seat next to hers, and asked, not even having to look over to know who it was, "So how'd you end up in a supply closet?"

He hesitated. "It's a long story."

"It's a weekend. There's plenty of time." If he thought he could just be AWOL all night and no one would notice, he had another thing coming. The way Belle looked at it, this was just her 'being responsible'- something she was very good at when she had her mind set on it.

Nikolai began stabbing his waffles violently and repeatedly with a plastic spork. He began, "So there was this three-headed hobo who worked as a real estate agent, ya see. And he-"

"Does this story involve the Lock Ness Monster, a rubber duck factory, and J Lo?"

"Um...yeah. How did you know?"

She rolled her eyes, trying not to smile. "Cuz I was there when Nevada tried to use that one on California to explain how he managed to gamble away the deed to her land to Rhode Island. It didn't work for him then, and it ain't gonna work now."

"Oh. Well that was the only excuse I had planned so... I've got nothing."

"How 'bout the truth?"

"Honestly, I don't think you want to know the truth."

Belle looked away and started concentrating on deciding which parts of breakfast were radioactive, and which probably weren't diseased enough to kill an immortal. The oatmeal was... ehhh. Was it _alive_? She watched with morbid curiosity as the brown glob tried to crawl its way out of her styrofoam bowl. If she listened closely, she could hear it crying. She stopped listening before she developed the overwhelming urge to release it back into the wild.

"You're doing that thing again," Nikolai commented, and there was a loud _snap!_ as his spork broke in half. "My god, the waffle just broke my spork."

"I'm not doing anything," she said innocently.

"Yes you are. It's that thing you do when you're trying to get someone to tell you something- where you ignore them, only you're not really ignoring them, and they know it. You're just waiting for them to crack and tell you what you want to know because you're too nice to go all Italian Mob Boss on anyone like certain other people we know. And it's seriously annoying!"

"That's silly! You're just imagining things." She smiled slightly. "But, hypothetically speakin', if I was doin' this thing which I'm not doing... is it working?"

"Igotbeatenup,thenlockedinthesupplycloset. There, I've said it."

She didn't know what she had expected to hear, but that certainly wasn't it. "You _what_?"

"I knew it!" Milos interjected loudly.

Nick turned to him. "Yeah, yeah, we know- you're a freakin' amazing fighter, and I'm not. Didn't you have enough fun teasing Kyoya about his epic failure last night? Speaking of which, dude, did anyone get that on video? I really want to see it."

He laughed nervously. "Actually, I can't mess with him about it." _Or he'll hurt my childre- I mean, Rakija._ "But you're fair game. And yeah, there's cell phone videos of it all over the internet!"

"By who?" Belle demanded.

"By who what? Oh, that. Your boyfriend," Nikolai said as if it was obvious. "How else do you think I ended up with this awesome black eye and a hand-print shaped bruise on my neck?"

"I just figured you, well... did something stupid. Again." She added as an afterthought, "And he is not my boyfriend."

"Touché." He conceded. "But surprisingly, this time it actually wasn't my fault. He and his Band of Merry Morons were in detention last night, obviously. I mean seriously, since he wasn't at the pep-rally, didn't anyone bother to wonder where he was? Anyway, I don't even know what I did to make him so mad. I think he thought I was eavesdropping on their conversation- which is ridiculous since I seriously _don't care_ about football or whatever. The guy is way too confrontational. It was the stupidest thing I've ever gotten beaten up for."

Milos nodded pointedly. "Trust me, he doesn't need a good reason to be confrontational. He's probably hurt or at least threatened twenty percent of the guys at this school. And the rest are intimidated into not crossing him. How else would he keep his power? Bre, it certainly isn't because of his charm or intelligence, that's for sure." It was a simple, yet effective strategy. Probably the only one Dawson had ever figured out- because of course it was simply too much trouble to be popular by being nice to people. Of _course._

Belle was stunned. Totally, completely stunned. And it wasn't just because of the revelation that Dawson might not be as good of a person as she'd always thought. There was no way Nikolai was making this up- nor did she believe he would anyway. This, coupled with the constant arguments between Dawson and Milos, plus what Kyoya had said to her on the first day, was starting to make everything make a lot more sense.

"Wow!" Emillia and Milos had long given up on actually trying to eat the waffles, but had started a game to see who could break all three the fastest. Emillia was barely able to make a crack in hers so far. "This is like a soap opera!" she chirped happily.

"It really is!" Milos agreed. He picked up one waffle and smashed it against the table. "I hate to say 'I told you so', Belle, but I told you so! So now do you believe me?"

"First of all, this is not a soap opera, you guys," she admonished, but she found the interest funny in an odd sort of way. "And if this is where you find entertainment, then I feel kinda bad that the whole situation isn't more dramatic. Second, save your 'I told you so's. This just can't go on, but I'm going to do this the right way- which means getting his side of the story."

He dropped his waffle which made an odd clattering sound against the table, like metal on metal. He threw his hands in the air in exasperation. "I give up! What can anyone say that could possibly get you to see him for what he really is? The proof is pretty compelling at this point. Bre, does he have to kill someone in front of you for you to believe it?" He sighed. "You don't seem to see what's going on here, and I don't know how to make you understand that he is _dangerous_, and that nothing you do or say can change dangerous people."

"I _do_ understand," Belle argued. "It's just... I mean..." She couldn't think of anything to say. The silence dragged out for a long time. He was waiting for an answer, and she eventually continued, "If you think I'd just blindly believe whatever Dawson says, you've got another thing comin'. That's not it at all. But to just... just condemn him without even talking to him about it? I can't do it. Maybe you could, but I can't and won't. And it has nothin' to do with whether or not I like him, and everythin' to do with the fact that he deserves a chance to be heard out."

"Belle, you're playing with fire here. You're only going to get burned."

"I could say the same thing about you," she retorted, starting to get a bit defensive. "At least I don't provoke people on purpose."

"What? I never _provoke_ anyone! I'm not going to let him insult me, but I don't start fights either. Bre, I wouldn't be involved in this situation at all if he hadn't dragged me into it!"

Castel and Clara had absolutely no idea what was going on, but whatever it was seemed pretty dramatic, so they were shamelessly eavesdropping- although, in their defense, Milos and Belle were pretty much yelling at each other by this point anyway.

"Stop actin' like you did nothin' wrong, Milos! From what I've heard, you insulted Dawson too! You're not blameless here."

"Bre, well what was I supposed to do?" he shouted, "Just stand there and do nothing?"

She raised her voice again as well. "No, but you struck first! Don't tell me that there were no better ways to deal with your disagreement, or else you're no better than he is."

Emillia cleared her throat. When this didn't get anyone's attention, she tapped Milos on the shoulder. "Oh, and by the way, you lost the game!" She held up the broken pieces of waffle with a grin.

He pouted, "Aw, that's no fair. Didn't you notice we were having a very serious discussion over here? I demand a rematch on waffle day next week!"

"Challenge accepted!"

"Um, excuse me," Nikolai said, looking back and forth between Belle and Milos. "Question: what _exactly_ is the problem? I mean, Dawson wouldn't touch any of the girls, right? Or at least, it sure seems that way. Kyoya's good at staying out of his way, Milos can clearly handle it, and- the point is, there's really nothing to discuss."

"If he's capable of hurting one person, then he's capable of hurting the next," Milos countered, "I don't see much of a difference."

"If he does, he's dead. End of story. But let's look at it this way." He lowered his voice so that Castel and Clara wouldn't hear. "You've killed people before, haven't you?"

He nodded. "Of course."

"Alright, so you're capable of killing. Therefore, how do we know you're not gonna jump up and kill Castel or the Headhunter or something?"

He narrowed his eyes a bit in confusion. "That's not even logical... I wouldn't kill either of them- or anyone else- unless there was an extremely good reason for it. Besides, this is school! High school is not a battlefield." He quickly corrected, "most of the time."

"Then you're saying the circumstances between then and now are different?"

"Yes."

Nikolai raised his voice so he was talking normally again. "And there's your answer! With Dawson, the circumstances for girls are different than those for guys."

"That sounds good in theory, but he's stupid and he's unpredictable, and what happens if he gets mad one day and completely loses it? Hell, _I_ wouldn't want to be around if that happened! You know how strong he is- he could seriously injure someone easily if he felt like it. Being around him is a huge risk."

"Hmm..." he thought for a long moment. "Ya know what? Nevermind. I agree with Milos." He started to stand up. "In fact, let's just settle this right now. A few rigged wires, an 'accident' in the chem labs next week, and-"

"I don' think so," Belle said, tugging sharply on his shirt sleeve. "Dad said to play nice, and so that's what we're gonna do. No violence."

"But-"

"No violence!"

"I hate it when you try to be responsible." He decided it wasn't worth it to fight a losing battle with her and sat back down. _But dude, this isn't over._

"I have an idea." All eyes turned to Emillia, who had been listening wordlessly the whole time. "I think Milos is right about Dawson being dangerous and all. I don't know him very well, but what I do know about him isn't good. But on the other hand, I think it would be wrong to ask Belle to just stop being Dawson's friend without talking to him first. It's not because she thinks you're lying, it's just for... certainty maybe? Otherwise, she'll never be completely sure one way or another about him, and that's always important in decisions like this. And there's no harm in talking, is there? Especially if this will help."

There was a long moment of shocked, dead silence.

Nikolai was the first to speak. "That was actually pretty insightful. Who are you and what have you done with Emillia?"

She frowned and stuck her tongue out at him. "Meanie-face," she muttered.

"I don't know," Milos admitted, "Maybe she's right..." But he didn't seem completely convinced.

Belle brushed off her skirt and stood, picking her tray up off the table. "Well 'maybe' is all we've got at the moment. It'll be fine. I'll straighten this out and be back soon, okay?"

"Good luck," Castel put in sheepishly.

She smiled a bit nervously. "Thanks. I have a feelin' I'll need it."

**OoO**

**Huzzah! I'm actually on time this week! XD **

**Hmm, not quite sure whether or not I like this chapter. But it's still necessary I guess. *shrugs* Heh, 'meanie-face' is the best insult ever. No doubt about it.**

**That's about it. I don't feel like ranting about anything this time. You guys are lucky~**


	12. The Naming of Oranges

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 10**

Georgia found Dawson and his gang on the opposite side of the cafeteria. She dumped her almost-full tray of food in the closest trash can she could find, too nervous to be hungry. She told herself over and over again that she had nothing to be nervous about- she was just going to talk to him, nothing more- but the feeling hung over her like storm-clouds.

When she came over he seemed to be in the middle of a very elaborate retelling of a football play, and he exaggerated each part with gestures and physical examples. Jeff, Lewis and Emilio were enraptured in his telling, each putting in their own opinions at intervals. She stood a few feet from the table for a while, fidgeting with a strand of hair, not wanting to interrupt, before she was finally noticed by Emilio.

"Hey, look who it is," he said with a smile, tapping Dawson on the shoulder and pointing to her.

Dawson turned around, and his expression lit up at the sight of her, "'Sup, babe? You coming to join us? We can make room."

She shook her head, feeling self-conscious mainly because of the presence of the other three guys. "No, that's okay. Actually, I'm here because I wanted to talk to you 'bout somthin' important- in private, if you don't mind."

He glanced at the others and immediately got up, "Oh, yeah sure. That's fine. It's funny you should say that cuz there was something I wanted to talk to you about too." He scanned the room for an empty table, but there were none. "Um, do you want to go to the performing arts center? I think we can be alone there."

She hesitated for a split second. "Alright."

They walked out of the cafeteria and to the PAC in almost suffocating silence. Thoughts were racing through Belle's mind at a thousand miles per hour. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe she should never have agreed to go with him- not that she could take it back now. Maybe she should have asked someone to come with her just in case. Maybe-

By the time she had gone through several dozen 'maybes,' they had arrived. She followed him into the audience, and up the stairs. He went all the way to the very back of the theater. She thought he was going to take a seat, but instead he went all the way up another set of stairs and right into the light and sound booth. "It'll be quieter this way, and Miss Jen won't mind as long as we don't touch anything," he said by way of explanation.

Belle sat on a tall swivel chair, dangling her feet far above the ground. He chose to move a few papers carefully then sit on the counter facing her. He just watched her for a while, and she felt her nervousness increase tenfold. "Dawson-" she started.

"Have I ever told you how pretty you are?" he asked suddenly, never taking his eyes from her face.

She tried to answer, but no words would come out for the first several tries. Finally, she managed to answer, "Um, n-no, you haven't, but this isn't what I wanted to talk to you abo-"

"Do you mind if I go first? Please, Belle? Then you can talk or ask questions or whatever as much as you'd like."

"Alright. G-go ahead then."

He nodded once, taking a deep breath. "Belle, we've known each other for a little while now and, well... I like you. I like you a lot. And I think you like me too. So, I thought maybe, if you were okay with it, we could... you know. Go out."

She didn't say anything.

"Well?" he pressed. "Is that a yes or what?"

Again, Belle didn't respond. It wasn't that she didn't know what to say. There were a _lot_ of things that she wanted to tell him. The problem was that the main things she wanted to say were both 'yes' and 'no'. But obviously, saying both really wasn't an option. It was picking the right one which she was having trouble with at the moment.

Dawson smirked. "Ah, I think I get it now. You're just stunned, is that it? Stunned that such a wonderful thing could ever happen?" He leaned in closer so he was just inches away. "Well you may be a beauty, but you're certainly not sleeping- believe it or not, this is all real. But maybe I can help convince you of that." Before she even had time to protest, he closed the distance between them. His lips crashed into hers, and she gasped. His kisses were rough, almost possessive, his hands reaching up to thread his fingers through her hair.

For a second, she was too much in shock to do anything. He was kissing her and she really didn't want him kissing her, and oh God, why on earth was she _letting_ him? She shoved at his chest, turning away. "Stop it, Dawson," she said harshly through clenched teeth. When he didn't even acknowledge the rejection, Belle pushed him away as hard as she could, and when he was finally off of her, she slapped him. Yes, slapped him.

"Don't _touch_ me."

This was it. This was the last time she was going to put up with Dawson and his antics. She got up, and backed away towards the door, leaving him there to wonder what the problem was. She was so dangerously close to bursting into tears at any second, but he was _going_ to hear her out, and there was no way she'd give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

"Hey, what was that for?"

_Boy, the list has gotten pretty long by now_. "First of all, when ya wanna kiss a girl, ya _ask_first! You don' just start shoving your tongue down her throat! For Pete's sake, have you no decency?" She demanded, wiping her mouth on one sleeve in disgust. "Second, no I ain't going out with you, Dawson! You've insulted my friends, you're mean just for the sake of bein' mean, you don't respect anybody, and you beat up my little brother! You... you..." her anger and stress were impossible to articulate.

He stood there, shocked, confusion etched in his expression. "...Huh? What are you talking about? Hey, are you sure you're alri-"

"Where were you last night?"

"During the pep-rally? Detention."

She nodded. "And what did you do immediately after detention was over?"

He laughed once at the memory. "I taught some loser kid a lesson abou-" he broke off suddenly. "So you're saying... that was...? You two are _related_? How's that even possible? You're so... and he's so..."

She threw her hands in the air in frustration with the whole situation. "You're completely missing my point! No one messes with my family or friends, that's all there is to it."

Dawson shrugged one shoulder, leaning back on the counter. "...So? I mean, geez Belle, I think you're overreacting just a bit here. I'm sorry you have the bad luck to be related to this kid, but unfortunately he'll be fine. Besides, I hate to break it to you babe, but he's completely whacked out. I heard he has to see the school councilor because he keeps drawing disturbing stuff in art class. He's so messed up in the head that, heck, maybe hitting him hard enough might fix some of the crazy! And don't get all mad at me for saying this, I'm just being honest here."

"I don' care. I have to put up with him. I sure don' have to put up with you, and I won't."

Belle felt the overwhelming urge to leave- just leave right then and never look back, and let all of this be over. But something in her couldn't quite let it go yet. "I always told myself that once I had physical proof about you, that I'd believe them. I guess I have it now. I can't deny it anymore. Y-you know, whenever my friends were talking bad about you, I always defended you. When they told me 'bout somethin' mean or insulting you'd said, I told 'em you weren't as bad as they thought, and to try givin' you another chance. Did you know that? Do you have any idea how many times I stood up for you, tried to help you not be so hated by so many people?

And the worst part is... I actually believed every word I said." She gave a cynical laugh to keep the tears from falling. "I thought you were just, I dunno, misunderstood. I thought there must be some shred of goodness in you. I was wrong. And now I... I feel so... _stupid_, so naive for trusting you in the first place. Dawson... I don' hate very many people, but if I don't hate you yet, I sure will if we don't end this empty, nonexistent relationship before it begins."

"Wh-what are you saying, Belle?"

"I'm saying that I want you to leave me alone. Don't talk to me, don't go near me, don't try to text me, don't even think about me. Ever. And I want you to stay away from Nick and Milos and Kyoya. And if I ever hear that you've been messin' with them- or with Avery and Emillia for that matter- we _will_ have problems."

"That's..." Dawson started laughing, though he was clearly trying not to. "That's real cute, Belle. I don't know where you came up with this, but because it's absolutely adorable, I just want you to know that I'm not mad at you for saying it. You're spunky, and I like that. But you don't seriously mean all that stuff, I know you don't. You're just doing what all girls do: playing hard to get. But it's silly for you to think that playing games is necessary to keep me interested- trust me Belle, you've had my attention since day one."

After all that, after being so brutally honest with him, he laughs at her and talks to her like she's a child? "You don't understand," she realized aloud. "You will _never_ understand. You are totally and completely incapable of understanding the feelings of anyone but yourself. I... I have to go. Now. Goodbye Dawson, an' remember what I said, cuz I meant all of it."

She had meant to just calmly walk out and act like the whole thing had barely affected her, but the second she was out of the light and sound booth, she was suddenly racing down the steps as though there was a fire licking at her heels. She felt like she was going to suffocate if she was in that building for one more second. Belle went to the back doors and threw them open, wincing at the bright sunlight. It made her eyes water a bit, but before long she found that the water wouldn't stop coming. No one was around, and chances were no one would be for a while, so she let herself break down into tears.

She felt silly for crying, but how on earth could she have ever believed him, ever trusted him? How could she have let this happen? She had acted like a stupid little child- she was 280 years old, and she was still no more mature than a child! Even now, she was being incredibly childish by crying over nothing! No wonder he didn't take her seriously- how could anyone take her seriously when she let herself be so easily manipulated and then wasn't even capable of fixing it?

Belle gasped when she thought she heard the door open. She had an excuse already prepared, but let out a sigh of relief when she realized that she hadn't closed the door all the way, and it had just been blown open by the wind. _That was a close one. I can't let these things happen. I can't let anyone know about how he kissed me, it would only make things worse, and right now I just want this to be over. So I talked to Dawson, we had an argument, and I told him we're through- that's all._

She took several deep breaths, wiped the tears from her eyes, and made sure her clothes and hair looked presentable. Then she put on her best smile, and told herself that nothing was wrong. Funny thing was, if she thought it enough, she could almost believe it was true.

OoO

Avery had been training in the gym since early in the morning. The gym had been completely empty when she'd come in, and though a few students had joined her for a while during their own morning workouts, none of them had the inclination to stay for nearly as long as she did. She knew it was probably not a good idea to strain herself so much after being sick yesterday morning, but strangely enough, it took a lot more willpower to stop running on the tread-mill than it did to keep going. So she didn't stop.

There was the slamming of doors and footsteps. _I'll bet anything it's Sicily._

"And there's Naval oranges, and Valencia oranges, and Moro oranges are really good too! Hamlin oranges make good juice. Did you know that there are over 600 types of oranges? It's true!"

Sicily skipped into the gym, rambling on (and on, and on...) to Milos, who was trying not to fall asleep standing up from pure boredom.

"Avery," he said when he spotted her, "You're so lucky! I have to go, but Emillia here can tell you _all_ about the best oranges, and how to juice oranges, and how to tell them apart. Did you know that there are over 600 types of oranges?" Now he just had to make a quick exit and- "What's that sound?"

"Music," Avery answered, holding up her ipod which she had connected to a small speaker. The song 'Standing Still' played quietly.

"You would be playing that song."

"It's a good song."

He shook his head. "No, 'Nije Ljubav Stvar' is a good song. 'Standing Still' is just boring. Typical beautiful song that we've all heard on the radio a million times before.*****"

"...That was a terrible pun, Milos."

"What, you don't like it? I'd say Latvia did a pretty good job this year."

She shrugged, inconspicuously turning her ipod up a little louder. "It's alright I suppose. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I liked France's better. And at least England's performers weren't in boxes this year; I _still_ can't figure out what that one was about..."

"Ooh!" Emillia said suddenly. "I like Romania's!" She started singing, "_Zaleilah, everyday, everybody! When you love, you say everyday, everybody_! But my brothers' song was really good too of course!"

Avery slowed down to a brisk walk on the tread-mill, deciding that she'd probably trained just about enough for one day. "True, but everyone thinks Sweden will win Eurovision this year, and if he does it would certainly be well-deserved... I guess..."

The other two just gave vague, noncommital answers. Emillia skipped over to the cork-board on the far wall where some announcements were posted. She pointed to one flyer, "Hey, the Agricultural Club's flyer is so cute! It's got this boarder made of a bunch of little apples, and the O's are all in the shape of oranges!"

Avery stepped off the tread-mill, wiping her face with a towel, then followed Emillia to the cork-board. "What's this?" She spotted a neon green flyer and pulled it off of the cork-board. "A school-wide game of manhunt in two weeks. I might sign up for that."

"Really?" Emillia asked with an odd combination of relief and excitement in her voice. "You really think you'd like to play?"

"I suppose. Why not?"

She hugged her tightly and Avery thought she heard her spine snap. "That's great because I already signed us all up! Clara was talking about it and it just seemed like fun, and I hoped you guys wouldn't mind."

Avery raised an eyebrow. "Exactly when were you planning to tell the rest of us? Kyoya doesn't seem like the type who'd want to participate in something like this."

"Oh, he'll love it!" she assured them. "And I would have said something eventually... like, the day of the manhunt, maybe?"

Somehow, Avery didn't doubt that for a second.

**OoO**

***Pretty much a paraphrasing of the lyrics to Latvia's song (Beautiful Song).**

**(Short Eurovision rant: Anyway, so yeah, I agreed with some of what the characters said, but not nearly all of it. This year's worst songs would definitely have to be Montenegro's and Albania's. Montenegro's song was just painfully annoying. Meanwhile, Albania clearly has some kind of world domination plot going on which involves breaking everyone's eardrums with their song, because their singer would not stop _screaming_! Also, Israel's was pretty bad too, but at least it was better than their "_Ooohhh, be happy_!" nightmare from 2000! Improvement! ;)**

**The top ten best songs, in my humble opinion (listed from 10 to 1) were from Moldova, Lithuania, Ukraine, Norway, Denmark, Serbia, Romania, Latvia, Russia, Finland. Dude, Russia's song pwned, just saying. Too bad I probably won't find out who won for about... 6 months, at the earliest. Okay, rant over.)**

**Next chapter: So this chapter and the last one were very plot-driven, and I think that was necessary. However, we're going to get away from the current happenings for a little while. Dawson is going to disappear off the face of the freakin' earth for the next chapter, guaranteed. I'm also really looking forward to writing the manhunt game because for the first time, we'll get to have all 6 main characters and all 6 supporting characters in the chapter! Plus, things will get much more action-ey than they have so far, and that's always fun~**


	13. How NOT to Interrogate an Italian

**Disclaimer: I don't own Avery, Belle, Milos, Emillia, Kyoya, Clara, Castel, Emilio, Sydney, Maria, or Cassandra, but I do own Nikolai, Jeff, and Lewis. I also don't own the 'random extras' Peter, Rika, Jin, Charlotte, Aarya, Brent, and Danny, because they are based entirely on real people.**

**Also, there's a lot of times when they discuss certain locations and the layout of the campus, so now might be a good time to refer back to that campus map! The link is still on my profile.**

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 11**

The game began at night. The players were gathered by 10:20 PM, they were set to start at 11 PM, and the official end-time was 2 AM. One round of Manhunt, which was to last three hours. This was going to be fun.

"Okay, everybody. Right now it's 10:23. The Hunted players get a ten minute head-start, so that means we only have 27 minutes before we begin." Clara was leading the event, as usual. It seemed like Clara was involved in every club and activity in the whole school, so why not add Manhunt to the list? "All I have to do is explain the rules here and then we can get this show on the road!

The name of the game is Manhunt, and here at Ashton we take our Manhunt _very_ seriously. Just a word of warning before we get too far into things: this is not a game for the weak. It can get kind of intense, bordering on dangerous at times- heck, and crossing the line into completely outrageously dangerous plenty of times! If things get too bad, the school administration requires that we stop the game... but we _never_ stop the game. So if there's anyone who thinks that they can't stand the heat, then I suggest you get outta the kitchen while you still can!"

Kyoya attempted to make an inconspicuous exit at this point, but Avery grabbed his arm and he knew any escape attempts would be in vain. When Sicily had announced that she'd signed him up, he'd protested for all of about 3 seconds before being thoroughly peer-pressured into giving in by the others. Once he'd given tentative agreement, he effectively forfeited all rights to say 'no' later, unfortunately for him.

"Um, Miss Clara?" Emillia asked, raising one had to get her attention. "Well, I was kind of under the impression that Manhunt was a lot like hide-and-go-seek, which is a really fun and not-scary game~"

Clara addressed the group with the answer. "Good question. I know there's about a million and one ways to play the game, but the way we play it is quite a bit different than hide-and-go-seek. There are still people who try not to be found, and there are others who try to find them...but that's where the similarities end. The way most middle-school kids play it tends to be as simply a more extreme version of hide-and-go-seek. We play Manhunt _itself_ to the extreme, so if you were expecting a kiddie game, you might want to leave."

She didn't have any more of a chance of being able to leave than Kyoya, not that she would have anyway.

"So," Clara continued, "Now that that's out of the way... the game is quite simple. We have a group of twenty players here today. There will be fifteen Hunters and five Hunted. The goal for the Hunters is to somehow, by the time the clock strikes 2 AM, have all the Hunted players in their home base- which is in building 10. The goal of the Hunted is to not be there when the clock strikes 2. I don't care how you accomplish your goal. We have had both sides get very creative over the years, and things get extremely interesting. I hope that with this mix of players, we'll have an equally exciting match this year too."

"So then how exactly would you capture someone?" Avery asked. "Some people play it where tagging the person counts as capturing them."

"Avery, if you go and tag a person, are they just going to automatically give up and go to the Hunter's base? I would hope not! Besides, if we did it that way, the game would be over in 20 minutes. But like I said, each side has their goal, and it doesn't matter how they acheive that goal. In this game, the phrase 'all's fair in love and war' is the motto. Anything goes... as long as it's legal. Yes, I'm talking to you, Sydney!" She said loudly, throwing a laminated map at the blonde.

"And now we see the violence inherent in the system!* Which wouldn't happen if I was school dictator! Vote Sydney for dictator!" Sydney then stuck her tongue out at Clara, who oh-so-maturely did it right back.

Clara held up a cute little hello-kitty baseball cap. "Now let's see who our lucky Hunted players are, and the rest of you are Hunters." She reached in and pulled out five scraps of paper. **(AN: Actually, I really did decide this by picking names out of a hat.) **"Okay, first up is... Belle. Next... haha, it's my own darling brother, Emilio. Third... Emillia. No, wait, this one says Emilio, the last one said Emillia... eh, I guess it doesn't really matter anyway. Fourth... Nikolai. And last but not least... Castel. Aw, good luck, hun!" She said, blowing Castel a kiss which he caught inconspicuously. "And everyone else- Avery, Jeff, Kyoya, Brent, Charlotte, Maria, Danny, Lewis, Cassandra, Aarya, Peter, Rika, Milos, Jin, and Sydney- you all are the Hunters. Ooh, I think this is going to be good! Oh, and I'm the referee in case you hadn't already figured that out. Any and all questions, disagreements, ect. come to me."

Clara dumped out the scraps of paper onto a table and put the baseball cap on backwards, which made her look like a 12 year old who was trying to be gangster. "Here's how it's gonna go. First, I'm gonna pass out supplies. Each of the Hunted get a water-proof map and camouflage jacket. The Hunters get both of these, plus ten flashlights, five walkie-talkies, and rope. You can decide amongst yourselves how to distribute the walkie-talkies and flashlights. Then at exactly 10:50, the Hunted get a 10-minute head-start. Hunters have to stay in their base with the blinds closed during this time. And if anyone breaks that rule, I'm gonna be really pissed off! There aren't very many rules here, so just follow the ones we do have, okay? Let's see... I think that's about everything..."

"What about the Wall?" Kyoya spoke up.

Clara snapped her fingers. "The Wall! That's it! I knew I was forgetting something!" The Wall was simply a tall, thick brick wall which surrounded the perimeter of the school. To the North West of the class-room buildings and North of the football field was a huge, dense forest which people didn't venture into very often because there was no real reason to. But if one did, and if they reached the end, they would find themself stopped in their tracks by the Wall. Going beyond the Wall was strictly prohibited. "According to the administration, no one is allowed to go beyond the Wall or into any of the buildings besides the Hunter's base under any circumstances. But if you can do it without getting caught... well, anything goes. But you didn't hear it from me, got it?"

She tossed maps and jackets to all of the Hunted, then quickly moved on to distributing the Hunters supplies before time was up. The Hunted quietly moved over to another area once they had everything and spoke in low voices.

"I think we should split up," Emilio said, trying to get a good look at the map while they still had the school lights. He wasn't quite sure what good the maps would do for the Hunted since it was pitch-black out and they didn't have flashlights, but hey, he hadn't made up the game.

"In agreement," Nikolai said.

"I don't know..." Emillia said, and she was obviously shaking a bit. "I think it'd be less scary with someone else. There's monsters in the woods..."

Emilio groaned, "There are no monsters in the woods. Stop being such a baby. I mean, think about it. There are only five of us, so if two people pair up and the Hunters catch them, then there's only three left and our chances of winning are dramatically reduced. Each individual is vital."

Belle nodded. "I see what you mean. So we go our separate ways. Help others if you can, but be careful. It makes perfect sense."

"B-but the monsters..."

Castel offered, "This is a big campus, so if you don't want to go in the woods, I'm sure there are plenty of other places to hide."

No sooner had this been decided, then Clara bounded over, and they realized that the Hunters already had their supplies and were in building 10. "Alright guys, it's 10:49. Are you ready?" Not really. "Your ten-minute head-start begins in 3... 2... 1... GO!"

As soon as the words left her mouth, all five of them were off. Emilio and Belle headed North-East, Nikolai went North-West, Castel went straight North, and Emillia turned and headed straight South towards the academic buildings.

"Ladies and gentlemen, let the games begin."

OoO

"We only have ten minutes, and that's not much time." Avery set out her map on the table and dug through a drawer until she found a marker. "I'm declaring myself team captain, and there are to be no arguments." No one even had _time_ to argue before she began drawing all over the map and rapidly giving the plan in a tone which made it clear that she was only going to explain things once. "There are fifteen of us, so we're going to split into five groups of three. Then those groups will each take a quadrant of the school campus to be their territory. We'll be more organized and able to cover more ground that way.

Jeff, Lewis, and Milos- you're Team 1, and you're assigned to the North-West quadrant which covers the track, football field, and a great deal of the forest. That's the most difficult area because there's so much forest, but I think you can handle it. Team 2 is Kyoya, Aarya, and Charlotte, and you have the North-East section. You need to keep a close surveillance of the buildings because some of them may be unlocked and we don't want the Hunted getting in there. And if the base needs back-up, you'll be the first ones we call because your area technically encompasses the base. Team 3- Sydney, Peter, and Jin- you have the South-West. This is a fairly simple region, but it needs to be taken seriously. There isn't too much there except for some buildings and the very edges of the forest... in fact, let's extend Team 3's territory to include the dorms. Now for Team 4, Rika, Danny, and Brent, you have the South-East. You have a lot of buildings, but the rest is pretty open. But again, patrol those buildings people. The Hunted will likely go North because that's where the forests are, but if they manage to get into a building in the South and no one notices, that could spell disaster."

"What about us?" Maria asked, gesturing to herself and Cassandra.

"You and Cassandra will be in Team 5 with me. We stay at the base. Four of the five walkie-talkies can only communicate with this fifth one right here, but not with each other. Therefore, someone has to be there to manage communications between the groups and keep everything organized. Plus, once we capture the Hunted and get them to the base, we actually have to make sure they stay here. They have to be guarded closely to prevent escape. That's what we're for."

She handed out walkie-talkies and flashlights then started making sure everything was set up perfectly. None of the others were quite sure how she'd taken charge so fast, but at least it seemed like she knew what she was talking about.

When she was in the back of the room, looking through closets to see if she could dig up anything else they could use, Milos came over. "Avery, ca-"

"No, you cannot object to the group assignments."

"Why not?" he said, frustrated. "It's Jeff and Lewis!"

"I don't care. Look, you're one of our best strategists, and physically, the three of you are our strongest players. We need you in that North-West territory." She sighed and added, as if talking to a whiney child, "It's three hours, Milos. You'll live, I promise." He crossed his arms over his chest, pouting. "And don't pout, I get enough of that from Emillia. Just promise me you won't fight with them, okay?"

It was a lost cause, and they both knew it. "Who put you in charge anyway? Shouldn't we get to vote or something?"

"This is not a democracy. We have ten minutes, and ten-minute democracies don't work. It's a dictatorship, and I'm the dictator. Do you promise, Milos? Yes or no?"

There was a knock at the door. Clara's voice filtered in from the other side, "The ten minutes is up right... now!" Everyone winced at the sound of a hand-held blow-horn piercing their eardrums. "You have three hours. Good luck!"

Milos snatched a walkie-talkie from the table. "Fine. No fighting." Besides, he was more interested in winning the game anyway, and if he spent the whole time arguing with idiots, they'd never get anything done.

"Good. Alright everyone, you have your assignments. Now let's hunt them down!"

OoO

Emilio had been to the very back edges of the school campus before, so he had somewhat of an advantage when it came to knowing where everything was. For the first few minutes, he could barely see anything more than fifteen feet in front of him, but the forest was so familiar to him that that was okay. But after a while, his eyes got used to the darkness and he was able to see things much clearer. He crept Westward slowly and carefully along the perimeter, not quite to the Wall, but always keeping it vaguely in sight. He figured he'd been out there for approximately a half an hour- certainly long enough for their head start period to have ended- but he'd yet to hear any sign of the Hunters.

This was about to change.

He heard whispers coming from his left and froze. He'd read somewhere that people were naturally predators, similar to cats. And like cats, they tended to loose track of (and loose interest in) things that didn't move or make noise. So if they'd heard his footsteps, maybe they would just assume it was random forest noise if he stopped.

He heard their footsteps coming closer, the crunching of dead leaves and twigs, and turned at the waist to see if they were close enough to spot him. The footsteps stopped- first one, then a second and third pair soon after. So there were three of them here against one of him. Well the odds weren't good, but they certainly weren't impossible either.

There was a click, and a flashlight shone on the ground beside him. They were _going_ to see him, so he took off like a shot to give himself a head-start on the Hunters.

"The Hunted!"

Charlotte was in pursuit of Emilio before the other two even knew what was going on. The much-less-athletic Aarya and Kyoya exchanged glances. Aarya shrugged, and they took off after them.

Emilio could hear her gaining on him and knew it wouldn't be long before she caught up to him completely. He pulled a wide U-turn towards the Wall which she hadn't been expecting. She had to stop to turn around, and skidded on a patch of leaves. Kyoya and Aarya finally caught up, and slammed right into her. Charlotte grabbed Aarya by the shoulders and turned her around. "Let's try this again."

Kyoya and Aarya managed to keep up a bit better this time around, but Charlotte still had a good five feet of lead on them.

_How can she keep up? _Emilio wondered. He pushed himself to run harder, while trying to maintain his mental map of where he was. He leapt over a tree stump, and she copied him. Aarya hadn't seen them jump over it, and tripped. Kyoya was able to avoid tripping as well, but he had to stop to help her up.

Emilio was almost out of the forest. From there, he planned to make it to building 15-East and loose his followers on the abandoned second floor- preferably even long before then. He could see the clearing about twenty yards ahead. Charlotte was yelling something to her team-mates, and then suddenly Emilio felt himself falling. She tackled him to the ground, and when they hit, her head slammed into the back of his, causing them both to yelp in pain.

Gritting her teeth, she was able to quickly sit up, sitting on the small of his back. She grabbed his hands and wrenched his arms behind his back, but he immediately started pulling away as hard as he could. She couldn't keep a hold on him and use the rope at the same time so they were left at a stalemate.

Kyoya and Aarya made it there just as Emilio was close to being able to turn over and dump Charlotte off of him.

"Hey, I need help!" she yelled. "Kyoya, grab his hands so I can tie him up. Aarya... um, just keep doing what you're doing I guess..."

With his help, she was able to tie his hands behind his back with the rope.

"Um, guys," Aarya said. "I think we have a problem."

"What?"

"Well we've got him, and that's great. But how are we gonna get back to base like this?"

Kyoya and Charlotte looked at Emilio, at each other, and back again. "She has a point..."

OoO

It had been a few minutes since the groups had set out on the hunt, and meanwhile, Avery, Cassandra, and Maria were back at the base and bored to tears. Actually, Maria was the only one bored to tears, but she made a point of letting everyone know.

"This is stupid. We should have been out there, chica! Why do you need three people here at the base?"

"For when someone gets caught and they need to be guarded," Avery answered patiently.

Maria slumped into one of the classroom desks. "That's all well and good, but if no one ever gets caught because there are too few people hunting, then what?"

Avery tapped her fingers against the desk absently. She took a quick glance at the clock and smiled. "Don't worry about that. In fact, I think we'll have our first Hunted here _very_ soon."

Maria blinked in surprise, sitting up straighter. "R-really? But none of the groups called to say that they'd caught anyone."

"I know."

_Knock, knock, knock_.

"Aaavvverryy! Let me in, let me in! It's really scary out here!" There were more frantic knocks at the door until they were almost afraid Emillia would break the door down. Avery gave Maria a look as if to say 'see what I mean?' She stood and walked over to the door, but didn't open it.

"Emillia? Is that you?" As if she didn't know.

"Yeah! Please let me in, Avery! The monsters are gonna come and get me if you don't let me in!" She sounded near tears, and Avery felt just a little bit guilty.

"Oh? I'm not sure..." A bit guilty... but not that much.

"Pleeeeease!"

She pretended to think about it for much too long. "Well... alright." She opened the door, and Emillia rushed in and glomped her. Avery spun her around so Emillia was away from the door. She then slammed the door shut behind her just as Emillia let go. "Maria, help me tie her to that chair."

Emillia offered very little resistance as Maria and Avery sat her down in a classroom desk and used some rope to tie her hands behind her back, and her ankles to the chair legs. "Um, thanks for not letting the monsters get me..."

"You're welcome, amiga. Any time," Maria said, mussing Emillia's hair. The Italian was almost like a puppy sometimes, it was almost impossible not to like her.

"_Team 2 to base. Base, can you read me?_"

Avery went over to the walkie-talkie on the table and clicked a button to put them on speaker. "Base to Team 2. Kyoya, have you caught someone?"

"_Yes._"

Maria gave a small cheer, and she and Cassandra moved in closer to listen. "_We caught Emilio-san in the Western edges of our quadrant. We're on our way back to the base. It's... well, it's difficult to say the least, but we'll manage._" There was yelling and crashes in the background. "_We will be there eventually, Avery-san... I hope_."

She nodded, though she knew he couldn't see it over the communication device. "Good. Just do the best you can, and call us if you need back-up. We'll send Team 1 around if you need help."

"_Hai. __Team 2, over and out_."

Avery clicked off the device. She was about to comment to her team-mates, but when she turned around, the first thing she realized was that Maria and Cassandra were currently in the middle of doing their best to interrogate Emillia. The second thing she realized was that it wasn't going well.

"Okay, Em. When was the last time you saw any of the others?"

"Well you're others, and I'm seeing you right now, so... right now!"

Maria face-palmed. Cassandra cut in. "Let me try. Emillia, when was the last time you saw any of the other Hunted players?"

"Who are the Hunted again?"

"...Now you're doing that on purpose."

"Doing what on purpose?" she asked innocently.

Cassandra was very good at remaining calm, but Emillia was equally good at countering that. "What did Castel say the last time he saw you?"

"He said, 'Do you have a tissue'? And then I said, 'No I don't. But I think Belle might.' And then he said, 'Okay, I'll ask her then.' And then I said-"

"Ay caramba! We get it!" Maria practically yelled. "We can do this the easy way or the hard way, amiga. But either way, you _will_ give us information."

She smiled cheerily. "Okay!"

"...Um, really? Uhh, alright, so what do you know?"

"I know that the grass is green. I know that the sky is blue- unless it's purple or orange or pinkey-purple or yellow-gold or something like that. Why does the sky turn weird colors anyway? I know there's something about the light in the atmosphere, but I like to think that it's because God gave all the little child-angels paints, and they just go wild painting the sky all sorts of pretty colors every night. Wouldn't you like to be able to just go up into the sky with a paintbrush and-"

"That's really pretty, and I hate to interrupt, but that's not what Maria was asking," Cassandra said.

Emillia frowned, eyebrows knitting together in confusion. "Oh. What was the question again?"

"Stop this," Avery insisted, "This is not how you interrogate an Italian at all!"

Maria scoffed, holding up her hands in surrender. "Then by all means, Fearless Leader, go right ahead!"

"I will." She took a deep breath and stood, pacing back and forth a few times in front of Emillia's chair. Emillia just watched her curiously, but didn't really seem all that worried. Suddenly, Avery stopped and faced her. "We're already in possession of Emilio, so I know where he is. I'm not too worried about Castel either. He may be a good hider, but the moment he's spotted, catching him and getting him back to base will be the easiest thing in this whole game. And obviously you're here, so that just leaves one very important question." She leaned in close. "Where are the Jones kids? I know you talked to the rest of the Hunted before the game, so you must have at least some idea of everyone's plans. So _where are they_?"

"Jones? You mean like Jim Jones? He's dead. I'm sorry; I know you two were good friends.******"

"No. Jones. As in Belle Jones and Nikolai Jones. Where are they?"

Emillia was about to reply, but fortunately she was saved by the proverbial bell. "_Team 4 to Base! Team 4 to Base! It's an emergency!_"

Avery quickly clicked a button and answered. "Base to Team 4. What's your problem?"

"_Well ya see..._"

"I'll tell you everything," Emillia said to Maria suddenly, "If you can pretty please just get me one little thing."

Maria glanced over at Avery, who had since turned Team 4 off of speaker-phone in frustration and was now trying in vain to reason with them. "No, Team 4, there is no such thing as a Snipe... I don't care if an upperclassman told you to catch one, he shouldn't have been in the playing field anyway!... Mein Gott. Tell him to stop that before he breaks something!... No... No, please don't Team 4. Just look for the Hunted, you can search for the paranormal later... No, that's-"

_I guess she's busy then_. She turned back to Emillia. "That depends. What do you want?" Maria inquired skeptically.

"Oranges."

"Oranges? That's all?"

"Yep!"

Cassandra and Maria exchanged glances. "Cass, should we get them for her?"

Cassandra shrugged. "I don't see what harm it could do. I'll go check the caffeteria and see if they have any." And with that, she was gone.

By the time Avery finally managed to get off the walkie-talkie with Team 4, Cassandra was back with the oranges. Emillia had somehow even been able to convince them to untie her hands so she could hold the oranges. She had one partially unpeeled and was munching on it contentedly.

Avery looked around and noticed the huge crate of oranges on the floor, then the auburn-haired girl who wasn't tied up like she was supposed to be. "Cassandra, Maria. What happened exactly while I was on the phone?"

Maria rolled her eyes. "Oh, lighten up! They're just oranges, what could she do with 'em? And we only untied her hands, so if she tried to undo the other ties, someone would notice before she could actually escape."

There was a knock at the door, and everyone jumped slightly, startled. "It's Team 2! We are here with Emilio. Please open up, we kind of have our hands full."

Avery threw the door open to reveal the three Team 2 kids desperately holding onto a struggling Emilio. They were clearly reaching the end of their rope, and Avery moved out of the way to let them in. "Quickly, quickly."

The second Team 2 was in the line of fire, Emillia threw an orange as hard as she could. It hit Aarya in the shoulder. She threw another which nailed Kyoya's side.

"Ouch! Who is throwing those?"

"I think it's Emillia!"

"Who's the idiot that's giving the enemy weapons?"

And Emillia kept lobbing oranges as fast as she could at the shocked and flustered Team, until pretty soon someone let go just enough that Emilio was able to wrench out of their grasps and bolt. Even once he was gone Emillia wouldn't stop pelting them, and by the time Cassandra stopped her and got the oranges far out of her reach, it was a little late. There were only a few left anyway.

She smiled sweetly, sticking out her tongue at Avery who scowled. "Hehe, that was fun~!" Then she pouted a bit, adding, "But I really was looking forward to eating those... Hmph."

Avery just barely resisted the urge to start yelling at the other girls in Team 5. There were more important things to deal with first. "Team 2, go after him. Let me know when you've caught up with him, and then we'll send Team 1 over to help."

"Hai!" Kyoya said shortly, and he, Charlotte, and Aarya ran off into the dark.

Avery sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "This is going to be a long night, people."

**OoO**

***Monty Python quote.**

****Saying that Avery was good friends with Jim Jones is actually a serious insult. He was the leader of a huge cult that committed mass suicide in the 1970's.**

**Okay, so I was about 2,000 words into this chapter and then I was just like, 'dang, this is gonna be long..' So yeah. This game is going to last at least one more chapter, probably two. I hope no one minds. I've really been having way too much fun with this~ XD**

**And technically, I didn't lie. I said that all main and supporting characters would be in this chapter, and they were! *is chased by angry mob* Don't worry people, I'm working on it!**

**Also, I'm really sorry for this chapter being so late, but it _is_ over 5,000 words long, so that kinda helps make up for the lateness... right?**


	14. All's Fair in Love and War

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 12**

"The stealthy and cunning Team 3 creeps through the forest. They have spotted nary a soul for the past 45 minutes, but they dare not give up hope! They have their mission, and their mission is clear: to find and capture the Hunted, even at the risk of their own lives!"

"Excuse me," Peter cut in, just as she was getting to the good part of her narration. "'At the risk of their lives'? Aren't we being just a tad melodramatic here?"

"What? Drama is good! Where's an adventure story without drama?"

"_Melo_dramatic," he emphasized. "Big difference."

There was a long pause. "Sydney is unable to come up with a retort to placate her obviously imagination-challenged teammate," Sydney narrated dramatically. "Therefore, she leaps into action!" Actually, she _tries_ to leap into action, but ends up tripping on her own shoelaces and falling head-first into a cluster of bushes.

"Nice," Peter observed sarcastically, picking up a small stone from the ground. "Syd, I think this rock has more hunting skill than you do." With that, he chucked it hard into the darkness as Sydney pulled herself up, not the least bit affected by that little stunt.

Suddenly, there was whispered cursing and a loud crash not too far away.

Sydney flinched the second she'd heard something. "Did anyone else hear that?" Peter and Jin nodded, shocked.

The three of them crept towards the sound which had gone completely silent soon after the crash, flashlights at the ready. "The stealthy Team 3 Hunters may soon catch their first prey," Sydney whispered, before quickly whipping around to shush Jin who had stepped on a twig. She went back to continue, "This is a glorious moment for the honor of their cabal."

"You're using the word 'cabal' incorrectly. We're a group playing a game, not the Mafia."

"Shh!" This time it was Jin who hissed it at Peter, so Sydney didn't have to.

Peter would have come back with some smart-aleck remark, but Jin flicked on his flashlight, shining it right in the eyes of one of the Hunted. For a split second, Nikolai just stared at the light uncomprehendingly, a bit dazed after just falling out of a tree. But the next second, he was out of the bushes he'd fallen into and was slowly backing up in time with the Hunters' steps forward.

"The Hunters have spotted one of the Hunted. With their flawless skills and timing, now it is only a matter of time before the Hunted is caught for good."

Nikolai wasn't quite sure how to react to her out-loud narration, and Jin just held up his hands, "Don't ask. It's not worth it."

"Clearly. Okay, who threw the rock?"

Sydney and Jin both pointed to Peter simultaneously. Or at least, they tried, to before Sydney realized, "Hey, where'd he go?" There was a moment of awkward silence as Jin and Sydney looked around confused, while Nick had the strangest feeling like something very not-good was about to happen.

He took one more step backwards... and right into Peter. "Crap." Before he even had time to react, Peter's arms were wrapped tightly around him. He stomped on the taller boy's foot with the heel of his shoe. Peter cursed, but refused to let go and suddenly lifted him several inches off the ground.

"L-let go! I c-can't... br-breathe!" Panicking, he started thrashing and struggling like a caged animal, reaching up and digging his nails into Peter's arms nearly hard enough to draw blood.

Peter was too busy trying not to drop Nikolai- a task which was becoming more and more difficult by the second, causing Peter to have to tighten his grip- to pay much attention to what he'd said. "Well maybe if you'd stop trying to kick me, then- OUCH!"

Jin face-palmed. "Peter, just let go," he said quietly.

"_What_?"

"I said LET GO!"

"OUCH! No, I'm not letting go, that would be stupid."

"No, what's stupid is choking someone to death over a game."

"It's called population control. Perfectly reasonable. See, in theory-"

Jin cut him of before he could go on a long, involved explanation about population control which would make half the readers want to hunt down the real Peter and skewer him with a pitchfork. "I don't give a d*** about your theories, okay? Peter, I have a confession to make. I..." he took a deep breath, "...I hate you. Have I ever told you that? I know this is probably a bad time, but I really, seriously hate your guts. You're the most obnoxious person I've ever met aside from Rika's boyfriend."

"Good for you...?"

Sydney looked back and forth between them like a spectator at a tennis match. Albeit, a really ridiculous tennis match, but a tennis match nonetheless. At least, until she noticed something rather odd. She cleared her throat awkwardly. "Hey, if you two are done with this cutesy little 'let's all talk about our feelings' moment, I have a question. Does catching one of the Hunted count if they're unconscious before getting to Base?..." That's when they noticed that the Hunted player in Peter's arms had already lost consciousness from lack of oxygen. Peter dropped him, and he collapsed to the ground in a heap, but it was a bit late by that point.

"Huh. I think he passed out," Peter pointed out unnecessarily.

"_Thank you_ Captain Obvious! We never could have figured that out on our own."

"You're welcome, Lieutenant Dunceworth," he said with a pompous little bow that made Jin want to strangle him.

Sydney just rolled her eyes. "Okay, does anyone have _any_ idea what to do now?" she asked. The sound of crickets chirping was the only response. "Yep, that's what I thought."

Peter knelt down and started shaking Nikolai by the shoulders. "Hey! Hey, wake up!" Upon receiving no reply, he looked up at the others. "Should we call Base or what?"

"Probably," Jin replied, starting to pull out the walkie-talkie. Peter stood up and took a step back to listen in on the conversation with Avery.

Jin never did get the chance to call because the second Peter was the right distance away, Nikolai's eyes snapped open and he struck out, kicking Peter somewhere _unpleasant_ as hard as he could. Peter let out a very manly squeak and was instantly on his knees in pain. The Alaskan pushed himself up off the ground, blinked away the dizziness and took off into the forest, stumbling once or twice but otherwise perfectly fine.

Jin was trying (and failing) not to laugh at Peter's misfortune only because, being male, he could relate. Sydney winced, leaning down to put a hand on his shoulder. "Man, I'm not even a guy, but that's _gotta_ hurt!"

"... It... does..." he said between breaths.

Jin peered out in the direction where Nikolai had gone, but of course it was too dark to really see anything. "I'm going after the kid. Sydney, stay here, and I'll yell if I need help."

"I can do that. Good luck!"

He gave a curt nod in her direction before heading deeper into the Northern edges of their quadrant. He really hoped the Hunted player wouldn't wander far North enough to run into Jeff, Lewis, and Milos. After that embarrassing stunt, getting Team 1 involved was the last thing Jin wanted to do. This was Team 3's battle now, and there was no way he was going to call for help and practically admit to their incompetence. It was true that Peter had made a ton of blatant mistakes, but it was nothing that couldn't be made up for. Clearly, Nikolai didn't play fair, but as far as Jin was concerned, two could play at that game. He just had to avoid walking into a trap.

You know, if he ever managed to actually _find_ him.

"Oh Jin~"

The brown-haired teen spun around, trying to discern where the voice had come from. "What?" _Come on, say something again... _There were hysterical giggles, like a deranged child, and Jin stepped slowly towards the sound.

"Do you hear it?"

"Hear what?"

"The screaming. Do you hear it? Do you?"

He shook his head, then remembered that it was dark out. "No." Speaking of the dark... he brought his flashlight back out and clicked it back on.

"You will..."

Suddenly, there was a _snap!_ and he felt pressure on his ankle. His legs were ripped out from under him, and he yelled out, more from fear then pain. The world spun wildly for a second or two, and when Jin was finally able to regain his bearings, he noticed that the sky was... on the ground? Along with the flashlight he'd dropped. _So much for not walking into a trap._

The laughter got louder, and Jin realized that it was coming from the top of the tree- the same tree which he was now hanging from by his ankle. "There! Right there! You heard it, da?"

"You are psychotic, you know that?"

There was an exasperated groan. "Yes, yes, so I've been told. By the way, that rope was left lying around probably from last year or the year before, so it won't hold your weight for too long. A word of advice: try not to fall and break your neck."

"...Wait, you're not gonna leave me hanging here are you?"

"Yep, that was the plan."

"No, wait!" he said quickly, "You have to let me down. Please."

Jin waited through the long, painful silence. "Give me one reason why."

"If I die, there will be one less future cartoon voice actor in the world."

"That's a stupid reason."

"You never said it had to be a _good_ reason."

"Hmm, touché." He tilted his head to one side, thinking, and leaned back against the tree. He was already getting a little bit bored. "That depends. Where would you work?"

Jin shrugged. Why on earth did it even matter? "Uh, Disney maybe?"

Nevermind. Boredom over. "Wrong answer." Jin looked up- or rather, down- into the tree branches. Nikolai climbed down to Jin's branch agilely without making a sound. This was the guy who'd fallen out of a tree just a few minutes before? Not likely. It had probably been part of the plan the whole time, Jin thought in annoyance. He jumped the last few feet, landing crouched like a cat, but the branch shook slightly and Jin was almost certain he heard the rope start to snap.

"Oh s***. What are you doing?"

"Cutting the rope."

"NO! STOP! YOU'RE SERIOUSLY GOING TO KILL ME OVER _DISNEY_? WHAT THE HELL? IS THERE NO JUSTICE IN THE WORLD? ARE THERE NO MCDONALD'S HAPPY MEAL TOYS THAT AREN'T MADE IN CHINA ANYMORE? I MEAN _COME ON_!"

"Nyet. I'm over the Disney thing. This is just cuz I'm bored. Besides, I've never seen someone with their arm bones forced into their rib-cage before, Jin. Feel honored." But just before he could cut the rope free, both of them froze as Sydney and Peter came into view from the South. Jin breathed a sigh of relief (not that he'd ever admit to being so terrified in the first place). "No time. Darn. Oh well, see ya later then." He shrugged casually and hopped to the next tree over, then the next, heading far North and out of Team 3's territory.

_Good riddence_. "Syd, Pete, over here!"

Sydney burst out laughing the second she saw him, and Peter soon followed. "Wow, Jin, how'd you manage that?"

"Don't ask. Can you guys help me get down?"

"No prob," Sydney replied, giving him a thumbs-up. "Sydney studies the situation, using her keen mental prowess to come up with a plan of action, while Peter just stands around like an idiot."

Jin flinched at the sound of muffled static coming from the pocket of his camo jacket. He sighed and mentally cursed himself when he realized it was just the walkie-talkie. "_Base to Team 3. Base to Team 3._" Jin had a strong urge to just pretend like he wasn't there. Unfortunately, there was no such thing as letting a walkie-talkie go to voice-mail. Maybe there was a mute button? "_Base to Team 3. Team 3, pick up already!_"

He reluctantly clicked the button. "Team 3 to Base. What do you want?"

"_Team 3, why haven't you called in to report? What are you _doing_ out there?_"

Jin was forced to reluctantly admit, "We caught Nikolai, but unfortunately he kinda... got away."

"_What do you mean 'kinda'? He either did or he didn't_."

"He did."

"_Then stop hanging around and go after him! Half our time is already up_."

Sydney snickered and quietly commented to Peter, "Heh, stop 'hanging around'. Nice."

Great. Not only was Avery annoyed, but she was making terrible puns about his situation without even knowing it. "Hell no. There is no way I'm going after him."

"_Yes, you are_."

"Avery, you have no idea what happened. I am _hanging in a tree_ right now thanks to him, and Peter got his nonexistent balls kicked!" he yelled into the device. "Besides, he left our territory a few minutes ago anyway. He's no longer our problem."

"..._You're absolutely sure he's no longer in your quadrant?_"

"Yeah."

"_I have a new assignment for you then. Team 2 desperately needs help. Emilio's trying to hop the Wall."_

"That's not good."

"_Indeed. If he gets over the Wall, we likely won't see him again until tomorrow morning, and the game is lost. They've been able to keep him from it so far, but they need back-up. Think you can handle it?_"

"Yeah, of course. Team 3, over and out."

OoO

Meanwhile, back at the Base, things were going about as well as could be expected.

"78 bottles of wine on the wall, 78 bottles of wine! Take one down and pass it around, 77 bottles of wine on the wall~ 77 bottles of wine on the-"

"Oh Emillia?" Cassandra asked as nicely as humanly possible.

"Yeees~?"

"Could you please stop singing?"

Emillia shook her head, smiling brightly, "No ma'am." And with that she launched right into the next verse... which was pretty much the same as the last verse, come to think of it. Cassandra just gave up, deciding that Emillia wasn't causing them any real problems, and it simply wasn't worth the trouble to try and stop her.

Nearby, Avery was internally freaking out. There was no other way to put it. She'd gotten a call from Team 2 that Emilio was trying to hop the Wall, so she immediately sent Team 1 on the case. She'd heard back from them and was starting to wish she hadn't. She also talked to Team 3, and apparently things were going really, really badly there too. Avery didn't even want to know exactly how Jin ended up in a tree, and moreover, she had no idea what to do about that little problem at the moment. She sent them out to replace Team 1 who had managed to break their only flashlight. Also high on the list of problems was that Brent from Team 4 was drunk (though in retrospect she probably should have been able to figure that one out sooner), and as far as she knew, no one had even _seen_ Castel or Belle yet!

She was just about to connect with Team 2 to make sure everything was alright, when the door opened. Instantly, Avery's full attention was on... _huh?_ What on earth was Belle doing there?

Belle leaned against the doorframe, surveying the scene. No one said anything, they all just stared at her except Emillia who waved as best she could with her hands tied behind her back. Belle gave a small smile and waved back, but her focus then shifted left to the girl at the desk with one finger over the call button. "Need help?"

Berlin was thrown out of whatever trance she'd been in with those words. "Help from you? That's an odd question." She stood up and made a barely noticeable gesture with her head to Cassandra and Maria. However, while it may have been barely noticeable, Belle noticed it.

She pulled out a long stick with one end sharpened and pointed it at Avery. "I'm not an idiot. I came to make a deal with you, Avery. Please come outside, and leave your wolf pack behind if it's not too much trouble, okay?" She hoped no one could see that the hand holding the spear was shaking. If any of them had called her bluff and tried coming at her, there was no way she would have actually used the weapon in self-defense. This was just a game- she didn't want to actually hurt someone! Still, it was best to look like she wasn't afraid to use it at a second's notice.

Avery wasn't sure how to react, but Belle had said 'please', so she calmly nodded and walked outside, being careful to stay at least 20 feet away at all times. She shut the door behind her. "Now, what is it?"

"Like I said earlier, I want to help."

Avery raised an eyebrow. This was getting more and more suspicious by the second. "You want to help? I don't believe you."

Belle tightened her hold on the spear. "I know where Castel is, and I can help you catch him."

"Do you? Where?"

"I'm not going to just tell you. I need your agreement first."

"What's the catch?"

"No catch," she said, shrugging innocently.

"I hope you know that I am not stupid either. What's your motivation? You would not turn on your fellow Hunted without a reason."

"Oh, of course I have my reasons, but they're none of your business. Now do ya want my help, or not?"

The muffled sound of voices was coming from the right, and both girls immediately spun around. Jeff, Lewis, and Milos were talking in low tones as they approached the Base, not even giving Avery and Belle so much as a glance. Jeff tossed his cracked, ruined flashlight in the air, then the walkie-talkie, and made some odd attempt at juggling which the other two just laughed at. Milos reached over and caught the flashlight in mid-air.

"Hey man, I almost had it!" Jeff complained, though the annoyance didn't sound sincere.

"_Sure_ you did." Apparently, Jeff and Lewis weren't quite so bad once Dawson was out of the picture. The three of them had managed to get along relatively well so far that night, which had been a pleasant surprise to Milos who hadn't been looking forward to working with the football players at all.

Avery face-palmed for what seriously felt like the tenth time that night- at least. "You boys are so inconspicuous."

At that, they finally seemed to notice that they weren't the only ones outside. Milos did a double-take at Belle. "Bre, Avery, I think the point of the game is to catch the Hunted, not have girly chats with them."

"I'm not. Team 1, here's your new assignment."

"Our new assignment is to catch Belle? If that's the case, I think our time would be better spent helping Team 2 with Emilio."

"It is not my fault you broke your flashlight and had to come here to get a new one. And since we couldn't just leave Team 2 alone on this, I had no choice but to send Team 3 in. Perhaps if Mr. Sinclair here could save his little circus act for later-" she said pointedly at Jeff, but then stopped herself before she could start on a rant. Now was not the time. "Anyway, Belle claims to know where we can find Castel, and wants to help with that too. She's with you three now."

Jeff and Lewis both gave their tentative agreement.

Milos cleared his throat to get the others' attention. "I'm sorry, but does no one else see how this is a really, really bad idea?"

Avery briskly walked over, grabbed his arm, and halfway dragged him over to the side. "I know, I know. But we are running quite low on time, and we need all the help we can get- no matter who it's from. That being said, we're not going to be stupid about this either. Consider her a prisoner of war, ja? Don't let her out of your sight for a second, and be especially careful once you have Castel too."

"I understood that already. I just don't believe she knows anything about where Castel is to begin with- not that my opinion seems to count for much in the newly established Dictatorship of Berlin." Before she could retort, he threw up his hands in surrender. "Nevermind. Joining forces with the enemy? Sure! Bre, why don't we invite Emilio to brunch while we're at it?"

"I'm glad we're on the same page then."

Milos honestly hoped Avery knew what she was talking about, but either way, if nothing else they could at least make sure Belle didn't cause any problems for the other Teams. And as much as he hated to admit it, Avery was right: this was turning out to be a disaster. So far the only person they'd legitimately caught was Emillia, and she'd turned herself in!

"I'll get you a replacement flashlight, and then you can be on your way," Avery offered, stepping inside. The second she did, she instantaneously regretted it. (Funny, she'd been regretting a lot of things lately. She hoped this wouldn't become a habit.)

Brent was sitting on the floor next to Emillia, literally _in_ her empty orange crate, with his legs hanging over the rim and his sneakers just barely brushing the tile. He leaned over and put his head on her thigh, "Mm, you're cute..." he muttered, words slurred drunkenly. He hugged her leg like a pillow.

Emillia's eye twitched slightly. She growled, "Pervert," and managed to somehow defy the laws of physics enough to pull her crowbar out of thin air and whack him with it, despite the fact that she was still tied up. He ignored it and continued snuggling up to her.

Fortunately, Maria made her move a second later, pulling him off Emillia and draping his arms around her own shoulders instead. He smirked and leaned in closer, "Esta chica es muy caliente..." (This girl is hot...)

"Ooh, tú hablas español?" (Ooh, you speak Spanish?)

"Yo hablo alguna idioma te gusta, Gatita." (I speak any language you like, Kitty.)

"Èsta es buena." (This one is good.)

Cue sloppy make-outs on the floor in the middle of the room.

Meanwhile, Danny had taken out a long role of paper towels and was demonstrating a complicated math equation to Rika to explain how two times two actually equals five, and how to use this to discover the meaning of life. He had already used up half the role, and the rest was going fast. Rika was blatantly not paying attention, using the remaining space to draw adorable little chibis as fast as Danny could solve equations. She had 'Cheeseburger in Paradise' blaring loud enough on her ipod speaker to drown Danny out for the most part, and was singing along off-key.

Cassandra was busy manning the communications system, and was somehow doing a really good job of ignoring the mess going on behind her. She had been friends with Maria too long to be surprised about anything anymore.

Avery was almost beyond words. Almost. "Team 4, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"WHAAAAT?" Rika yelled over the music.

Cassandra paused in jotting something down in a notebook to concede, "Good question."

**OoO**

***EDIT: I actually made a really big error in the chain of events, but now it's been fixed (I hope). Also, thanks for the suggestion Simonana~**

**Will the Hunters finally get their act together? What exactly is Belle up to? Where on earth is Castel? Will Berlin loose her mind tonight? Will I EVER update on time? All these questions and more will be answered in the next installment of... It's Kind of a Funny Story.**

**And yes, like I said before, the random extras are actually based on real people. Even Brent.**

**Okay more lateness, but this time there is actually a vaguely legitimate reason for it. Anyway, don't worry. There is no way I would let this story die. (I've already had a few people threaten to come hunt me down if I do.)**


	15. It's the Box of Oranges Fairy!

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 13**

Avery took a deep breath. Counted to ten slowly... 1... 2... 3... 4... _oh, screw this_.

"Team 4," she said in what she hoped was a calm, level tone which sounded neither desperate nor homicidal, "I am not going to ask why you're not out there doing something productive. I just want you to stop this... this... I don't even _know_ what to call this!- and leave."

"We came in through the back," Rika said, oblivious to Avery's short fuse, turning down her music to a more reasonable level. "We didn't know what else to do. No one's been in our territory all night, and then Brent got hammered with the upperclassman who stopped by and... well, things just went downhill from there. So... whadda ya want us to do?"

Good question. Her first instinct was to give them such a simple job that there was no way they could mess it up. But there were no such jobs. And she certainly didn't want them hanging around the Base, so that only left one option. "Teams 2 and 3 are busy with Emilio, Team 1 and Belle are after Castel. So I need you to go find Nikolai. Last I heard, he was in the North West, but none of the Teams are in their proper quadrants by this point anyway, so don't worry about that. Can you do it?"

Rika smiled brightly, grabbing Danny's arm and pulling him towards the door. "Yeppers! Don't worry, Avery- we got this!" Famous last words.

As an after-thought, she went over to where Brent and Maria were still velcroed to each other on the floor. "Could we borrow him?" Without waiting for a reply, she forcibly separated the pair and dragged Brent out of the orange crate. He kept a hold on it with one hand, and ended up slapping it on his head like a retarded hat, weighed down on one side by the lid. "Hehe, I'm a robot!" he slurred, "Wow man, it's like really dark all of a sudden! Who turned off the lights? Are robots... blind? Wow. That's some sad stuff there, you guys. Like... lost, unemployed puppies..."

And then they were gone.

Maria shrugged when Brent was pulled out her grip, a little put-off, but it wasn't that big of a deal. She straightened her clothes out and fixed her hair. "You must have a lot of faith in them, chica. I mean, after what happened with Team 3 and all, they're going to have a tough time."

"Faith is a strong word. I have... tentative indifference in them."

Which, in her opinion, was pretty darn good, all things considered.

OoO

"You're sure Castel went this way?" Milos asked for the thousandth time. They were heading in a diagonal from the furthest North West edges of Team 1's quadrant, in the direction of Team 4's South Eastern quadrant. For a while, Belle had insisted that Castel was somewhere in the Northmost part of the forest. That whole section had taken quite a long time to scour, and there wasn't even the slightest sign that Castel was anywhere near there. She led them all the way along the Wall, then changed courses and headed towards the academic buildings in a meandering snake-like pattern with no rhyme or reason to it.

In short, so far she had been absolutely no help. In fact, the one time they thought they might have heard someone, she immediately started talking way too loudly and insisted on heading in exactly the opposite direction!

"Of course," she answered him. "He told me he'd go North first, and then after hanging around there for a while, head South and see if there was an unlocked building. By movin' around, he could make it harder for the Hunters to track him."

"Bre, this sounds like a convenient excuse to lead us on a wild goose chase. If we don't run into one of the Hunted in the next five minutes, we're going back to Base so Avery can make sure you don't escape."

"Just calm down and follow me. Hasn't anyone ever told you that patience is a virtue?"

"Okay, I am absolutely certain I heard something coming from that direction," Danny said.

They were walking in the direction of Team 1's quadrant- 'they' meaning Danny and Rika. They had decided to leave Brent somewhere along the way when it came to their attention that drunks were generally not very good at being stealthy. Last they checked, Brent was hanging out in his wooden crate, perfectly content, and raving about how he wanted to build a home for blind robots and help them come to terms with their handicap. These were some serious revelations, don't doubt it.

"Yeah, like talking or something. You think it's Nick?"

"Honestly? I have no idea! But there's only one way to find out."

"Hey, dude, do you hear that?" Jeff asked, stopping suddenly. The others all followed suit, listening intently. "Castel sure is being loud. How the hell did he manage to keep hidden for so long if he keeps snapping twigs and whispering like that?"

Lewis shrugged. "Who cares? Shut up, and let's sneak up on him."

"I think he's coming towards us..."

"That's stupid. He's just making it easier for us to catch him, but hey, whatever."

"Don' move."

"I think he knows we're coming."

"You sure, man?"

"No."

"You still hear anything, Rika?"

"Nah. Go left. We'll circle and come around from the back- he'll never see us coming."

"The sound's moving away. Castel's tryin' to go around us."

"Do we charge him or what?"

"Bre, don't be silly, Jeff. Just be perfectly silent, and keep track of him by listening."

"Now?"

"No, all the way to the back."

"Now?"

"No, wait for him to get all the way to the back."

"On the count-

-of three. One..."

"..Two..."

"... THREE!"

With a battle cry the likes of which the world had never seen before, both Teams charged!

"For Narnia!"

It was a battle like no other! (No, really) There was the clashing of swords which glistened in the moonlight like fireflies as they met in mid-air. The sound of metal on metal and the cries of the slain could be heard for miles around, and whoever heard such violent harbingers would know and mourn for the battle that unfolded on this hallowed ground. Much blood was shed, so that the whole forest floor seemed to be flooded with a thick layer of the life-giving liquid. It was as though the angels on high had been weeping red, sticky tears down from the heavens onto these nameless soldiers. And the decedents of these brave belligerents will surely feel the pain of the loss of life deep in their very souls for the next hundred- nay, thousand years!

And in case you hadn't figured it out, that whole last paragraph was a load of total BS.

CRASH! BANG!

"Who are you?"

"I was gonna ask you the same thing."

Rika tackled Milos to the ground. "Hi~. Oh hey, I know you! You're that guy from my English class."

He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Uh, yes. And you're not Castel."

"Nope."

There was a moment of silence. "Could you please get off of me?"

"Yep."

"... Now?"

"Sure."

"...Then why don't you?"

"You asked if I _could_ get off you, and I can. You didn't ask if I _would_ get off you." But she got off of him anyway, then dragged him up as well before he had a chance to object. "Well, hey, it wasn't a total loss! Someone still managed to catch one of the Hunted at least."

"Who, Belle?" he asked, brushing the dirt off his clothes, "Uh, no, she's on our side. _Allegedly_, she's on our side."

The others were in the process of trying to sort out what exactly had just happened- because it was just entirely _too lame_ to think that they'd been hunting each other for the past ten minutes. There must have been some other logical, and totally non-lame explanation, right?

"Elvis Presley," Jeff cut in suddenly. Four pairs of eyes were on him instantly. "What? There are no other logical, non-lame explanations."

"Bre, I can't believe I'm saying this, but he has a point," Milos conceded, fidgeting with the walkie-talkie in his jacket pocket which he hoped wouldn't go off in the near future. "We're in agreement then? If anyone asks why, it's Elvis Presley's fault." The best excuses were the ones which confused people into silence long enough for the subject to be changed.

Danny just stared. He must have been missing something. "Isn't Elvis dead?"

There was a long silence.

"Ignore him. He knows not what he says," Rika said solemnly. A second later, it was as though a switch had been flicked and all previous reverence (though reverence to what was a little unclear) was gone. "By the way, wasn't that girl with you before? Where'd she go?"

Milos had his water-proof map in one hand and a flashlight in the other, working on deciding where they would go next. He answered Rika absently, "She's over there somewhere..." gesturing in a vague direction.

"Um, no, no she's not," Lewis said, looking around.

"Oh, then she must have gotten away..." Milos did a double-take. "She got away," he repeated. Then, "Bre, that was way too predictable!"

OoO

"Oooohhhmy goooooooddd... it's so sad, man..." Brent slurred, curling up in a ball on his side. "Like, d'ya even know, man? Can you see i... b-but _they_ can't even see! Oh god, whyyyyy?"

"You are so pathetic."

Brent had been going on a drunken rant ever since he'd been left in what _was_ Team 4's quadrant. He talked to himself for way too long, even though no one was around to hear him, but eventually he managed to acquire an amused yet slightly disgusted audience of one. Nikolai, who was said audience, had gotten the hell out of Dodge (aka, Team 1's area) after finding out how crowded the area was becoming. However, the further South he went, the fewer Hunters there seemed to be, and this whole territory was apparently covered by only one person- and that person was drunk.

Brent tried to push himself into a sitting position. It took a few tries because he kept falling over, but eventually he was able to support himself enough to sit up completely. "C'mere," he requested, making exaggerated gestures with the hand that wasn't keeping him upright.

Nikolai hesitated for a long time, but then compromised by going about halfway and sitting cross-legged in front of Brent. "I have seen a lot of drunk people in my life, but you'd have to be one of the weirdest."

The older teen just started laughing hysterically until he fell backwards and banged his head on the crate. He groaned and rubbed the back of his head before letting his arm drop, muffling his next words with his jacket sleeve. "Aw, man, 'at's funny. I mean, 'm not drunk, ya know? I swear, 'm so... so sober, it's depressin'..."

"I'm sure."

"See, s'm'one b'lieves me!" He sat up again, this time taking much longer than the last. From there, he tried to maneuver himself so that he could stand, and he looked like he was solving a complicated math problem in the process. Carefully, he stood, legs shaking. He took one step forward and fell right into Nikolai. "Heh, sorry." He was probably not sorry. He didn't bother to try to get up, despite their uncomfortable closeness. "I love ya, man... But no homo. A'ight?"

"Uh... I don't get it."

"Mm, wha's to get?"

"This is getting just a little too disturbing. I'm out," he said, starting to untangle himself from Brent and get up.

""at's cool. But can ya help me stand 'afore ya go? For some reason, 'm havin' a li'l trouble..."

He sighed. There was literally no one else around, so there wasn't really a chance of getting caught, but it was still a bit annoying. However, he decided there wasn't a good enough reason not to help. "Yeah, whatever." He stood and gripped Brent by the arms and had to practically lift him up, which was a lot more difficult than he'd like to admit. Brent stumbled into his side and only managed not to face-plant into the dirt by holding onto Nikolai's shoulders.

"Sorry, man. Dunno what the prob'm is. Everythin's all spinny 'n stuff."

"Just hold still or you'll fall. Again."

Brent muttered an apology and tried to stand on his own, but every time he'd come close he'd just loose his balance again. It was like a strange ballroom dance, but on a level of awful seen only when Jerry Springer was on Dancing with the Stars. (Well, okay, maybe it wasn't quite that bad.) At some point in all this, they had completely switched positions, and things were showing no signs of getting better any time soon.

"No, fo' real, I've almost got it," Brent insisted, before tripping yet again. Nikolai staggered backwards under the weight.

"Brent, knock it off!" And then Brent shifted just slightly, and Nikolai couldn't hold up the weight any longer. He fell backwards right into the orange crate. And _that_ was when he realized that this was a trap.

Brent shoved him in, slammed the lid down, and fastened the latch faster than one would have thought possible. "Haha, I can't believe that actually worked! Tonight's been crazy, hasn't it?" There was silence from inside the box. Brent kicked it curiously, but not very hard.

"...You're not drunk?"

Brent laughed again. "Nah, man! I've just been messing with people! Havin' some fun, ya know? But then you came along and, well, opportunity waits for no man- or something like that."

_Ladies and gentlemen, Karma has just entered the building._ "Okay, yeah, even I admit I probably deserved this."

OoO

"She got away. Bre, that was way too predictable!"

Castel flinched when he heard those words from his hiding spot. He was close, so painfully close to the Hunters that he could have reached out and touched Lewis's combat boot if he had the inclination- which he most certainly didn't.

It had been a really close call earlier. The Hunters were surrounding him, coming at him from all sides, and he was so _sure_ they knew he was there, but he dove into the bushes nearby anyway in some last-ditch attempt at keeping hidden. He was a goner, and he knew it. There must have been at least four of them, probably more! They were going to find him for sure!

And then... no one found him. They were too busy fighting each other. He had no idea why they were fighting each other, and he really didn't care as long as it kept their attention away from him but... admittedly, he kinda wanted to know what the heck was going on.

It turned out Belle was with them. At first he thought she'd been caught, but it sure didn't look like it. In fact, from where he stood- er, was crouched- Belle seemed to be sided with the Hunters. Did that mean what he thought it meant? Did she become a traitor? She was helping them try to catch him, and she would have turned him in if given half a chance, so... Wow. You think you know a person...

On the bright side, it was better to be informed than not, right? At least he could be ready if she- Did Milos just say she'd escaped? Uh-oh. He forced himself out of his thoughts so he could eavesdrop on the Hunters.

"Ugh, that was not supposed to happen. Danny, Rika, good luck. Jeff, Lewis, let's go find them before Avery decides to roast our skulls over an open flame."

He held his breath as the Hunters passed him, each group continuing to travel in the same direction they'd been in before the encounter. It wasn't until the sounds of footsteps and snapping twigs and whispers were long gone that he allowed himself to breathe a sigh of relief. There wasn't too much time left. Just a few minutes and the game would be over, and then he could go back to his dorm room, take some medicine for the cold he could feel coming on, and wash off all the dirt and anxiety. Actually, the anxiety was a permanent companion, but you couldn't blame him for trying. All he had to do was last just a little while longer and-

He felt a hand on his shoulder and screamed, but it was cut off by a hand clamping over his mouth. "Shh! Castel, it's just me!"

Castel let out a long, slow breath, feeling his heart slow down enough so it wasn't in danger of escaping from his chest. "B-Belle? Oh." Suddenly, the realization dawned on him, and he went right back into panic mode. "Oh!" He was still crouched behind the bushes, and with her there too it was a bit crowded. There weren't many escape options. Castel backed up as much as the small space would allow, searching for an out.

"Calm down," she whispered. "I'm on your side."

"O-oh r-really?" He had meant to sound cynical and sarcastic- she didn't honestly think he'd believe that load of bologna, right? However, the result was more scared and mouse-like than anything else. Sigh.

"Yes. Why else would I join them? Castel, I can't get caught if I'm already caught, right? I figured I'd be safe for as long as I was with them, plus I could help out the other Hunted. It's like... hiding in plain sight."

"That... I guess that does make sense..." He nodded a bit uncertainly, taking one last glance around before starting to stand. "Okay, well good luck. I can't hang around here any longer in case they come back."

"Um, do ya wanna stay together? There's not much time left anyway." She shrugged, laughing once. "Frankly, I don't even know what to do with myself anymore. I hadn't given much thought to where I was gonna go after I ditched the Hunters."

He hesitated for a long moment. "I don't know..."

Neither of them had a chance to say anything more as some of the Hunters came within ear-shot. Castel flinched at the sound and retreated into the more shadowed part of the hiding spot, pressing up close against Belle in the process. Normally, both of them would have been uncomfortable with this close contact, but the immediate threat of capture was enough to seriously lessen its importance.

"You have got to be kidding! Ya really gotta stop doing this." It sounded like Lewis.

"I am sorry!" Jeff countered. "I don't know why this keeps happening. Maybe the flashlights just hate me. I swear, I had it earlier, and then it was just gone. Like, _poof!_, gone!"

"How do you know you dropped it here?" Milos asked.

"I don't, that's the problem!"

"It must be somewhere."

"This is stupid," Lewis muttered, and Jeff elbowed him in the side.

Oh no. This was bad. This was really, really bad. They were in a location that was difficult to escape from, and were definitely going to get caught in the next thirty seconds if they didn't do something soon. But that was okay, Castel had a plan... well, more-or-less. He hoped he was making the right decision. He whispered as quickly and quietly as he could, "I'm sorry. I don't want to do this, Belle, but I just can't trust you. Sorry."

"What are you-"

He jumped up and ran, effectively giving away their hiding place instantly. There was no way he could out-run them, and he knew it. But maybe with a little distraction, he'd have a chance. He wouldn't have done it if she hadn't betrayed the Hunted, but really, he wasn't an idiot. He didn't know what her motives were, but clearly she wasn't on his side anymore. He had no choice.

The second she saw him take off, Belle stood as well. She took one step... and fell head-over-heels into the dirt. It took her a second to realize that her shoelaces had been knotted together, and when she did, to say that she was surprised would have been an understatement. How had he even _done_ that without her noticing? She sat up, spitting out dirt, and found herself looking at a pair of black sneakers and dark gray jeans not three feet away. She followed the jeans all the way up to a torso, then a neck, then someone's face.

She laughed nervously. "Heh, um... hi?"

Milos tilted his head to one side, smiling down at her with just a hint of smugness. "Did your little plan backfire?"

"Yeah, it did," she admitted. "It really, really did."

OoO

It had taken six people and a heck of a lot of time and effort, but eventually Emilo was caught and somehow gotten back to Base. It wasn't exactly the easiest thing they'd done all day, but they supposed it was worth it in the end- and it would be even more worth it once they finally caught the rest of the Hunted. They were seriously running out of time!

They used much more rope than was probably necessary to secure him in a classroom desk next to Emillia. "Have fun?" She asked.

He gave a little half-smile in return. "Absolutely! I wish I hadn't gotten caught, but this game was definitely worth playing. By the way, thanks for the help back there, Emillia."

"Oh, no problem! You're much braver than I could have been, what with the monsters and all..."

"I promise you, there are no monsters in the forest, or anywhere else on campus. Monsters don't even exist!"

She started to retort, but was interrupted by a knock at the door. Avery briskly walked over and answered it. "Oh good, you're back, now-" She sighed and shook her head in frustration as she realized who it was. "Brent, aren't you supposed to be with Danny and Rika?" She didn't give him time to respond. There was too much going on at the moment for her to spend precious time trying to reason with a drunk person. She stepped aside and let him in. He held one end of a piece of rope in one hand, and the other end was fastened around the latch so he could drag the crate in. Avery shut the door behind him. "What are you doing with that stupid orange crate?"

He stopped and sat on it. "Nothing much."

"Okay, okay. There are oranges all over the floor, thanks to Emillia. If you could gather them up and put them back in the box, that'd be helpful I suppose." She figured she had to give him something to do. She made her way back to the table and fumbled with the markers and maps spread out listlessly over their planning space. There had been so many changes in the past half-hour, she was never going to be able to keep it all straight if she didn't make notes.

"I don't think that's a very good idea. I mean, there's a person in the box, so the oranges probably wouldn't all fit."

From the table where she was marking up the map like crazy, Avery froze. She turned around oh-so-slowly. "Did I just hear you say that there is a person in that box you're sitting on?"

He smirked triumphantly. "Yup!"

"Ah, you're back. Bueno!" Maria came over and he pulled her into his lap. "Now, where were we?"

"You two are _not_ going to sit on top of this box and make out," Nikolai hissed. Maria briefly flinched at the voice which seemed to come from nowhere, but with some coaxing from Brent she was able to ignore it, and the two proceeded to sit on top of the box and make out.

Avery immediately recognized the voice. "Nikolai? Is that you?"

"Unfortunately. Avery, this is gross! Isn't there somewhere else they can do this? Like, on Mars?" Avery's mouth hung open in shock for a second. How on earth...? Frankly, she could have kissed Brent right then if Maria hadn't already been in the middle of doing that. But fortunately, she still had some level of dignity left.

"Ah!" Emillia squealed with happiness from across the room, causing Emilio to lean back away from her, slightly weirded-out. "My life's dream has finally come true~! It's the Box of Oranges Fairy!"

Emilio dead-panned. "The what."

"The Box of Oranges Fairy- cousin to the elusive Box of Tomatoes Fairy. My big brother Feliciano said it didn't exist, but I knew someday I'd find it! Oh Box of Oranges Fairy, can I have your autograph? And a picture? I have to send proof to my brothers, they'll be so happy when they find out!"

"Uh... Avery, I'm gonna let you take this one."

Avery groaned in frustration. "Emillia, that is not a Box of whatever, it's just-"

The door swung open, and Jeff, Lewis and Milos entered. "We're back!" Lewis had Belle over his shoulder, and she looked like she wanted to sink into the floorboards from sheer embarrassment. He mercifully set her down as she tried unsuccessfully to hide a raging blush.

Wait one moment. So if they were successful, then that meant that all the Hunted were captured, right? There was just one problem. "Where's Castel?" Avery demanded.

"We couldn't find him," Milos answered. "Belle even escaped, and we had to spend time looking for her."

"This is terrible!" She moved to the counter, and nearly tripped over the happy couple making out. Silly her for forgetting about that.

"Avery, do we have a camera?" Emillia asked sweetly. _And that_.

Milos grinned. "I hate to say 'I told you so', but I told you so!"

She studied him, clearly not amused, with arms crossed over her chest. "I am starting to believe that you enjoy saying 'I told you so' much more than you're willing to admit."

"Avery~"

Emilio snapped, "Emillia, shut up! There are no such things as fairies!"

"Every time you say that a fairy dies. It's one of the laws of Disney," Lewis interjected.

"Oh my gosh, NOOOO! Box of Oranges Fairy, are you okay?"

"I will be when Brent stops kicking the stupid box!"

"I'm trying to get some action up here, bro. Ya mind keeping it down?"

"YES I MIND! Let me out, you-"

"Bre, there's someone in that box?"

"Yes, it's magic~!"

"NO IT'S NOT!" Emilio and Nikolai yelled at the same time.

Clara peaked her head in. "Time's up."

"Excuse me, Avery-san, I believe we may have a problem."

Milos laughed at that. "Just one problem, Kyoya?"

"It is not that funny..."

"No, it's hilarious!"

"I said 'time's up.'"

"Sydney watches as her fellow teammates do something really stupid."

"Go ahead. Hit me. I don't care."

"I know you don't care. That's because you're a cynical jerk."

"Aw, I never knew you thought so highly of me, Jin!"

"These are the people of WALMART~!"

"Charlotte, I don't even know you."

"Haha! Don't worry, I'm high on life!"

"...Yeahhhh..."

"TIME IS UP, PEOPLE!"

Instantly, there was dead silence.

"I'm sorry Clara, but I don't think it was necessary to shout," Avery commented.

Clara shrugged, holding up her hands, "I was keeping up with the volume of the rest of the room. Yep, so time is up. Let's see, we have one, two, three... only three Hunted."

"Nikolai's in the orange crate."

Clara blinked. "Okay... so four Hunted. Not five, four. And since you didn't capture them all... the Hunted wins! I've gotta say, this was one of the most exciting games I've ever seen! Okay, well, it's late so goodnight everybody!"

A few people exchanged glances. "...This is it?"

"Yeah, I mean, the game's over. Nothing more to do."

"Oh... well, goodnight then."

She waved them goodbye and left to go find Castel. There were a few more moments of awkward quiet. Sydney jumped off her perch on the counter. "Well, _that_ was anti-climactic."

It was.

**OoO**

**So in case anyone is confused, Belle really was on the Hunted's side. She never actually betrayed them. She just did her job a little _too_ well, and Castel didn't believe her when she told him why she did it.**

**The good news: I'm back, YAY!**

**The bad news: Half this chapter was written while under the influence of painkillers because I just had surgery! So if there were a lot of blatant errors, I apologize. But seriously, if surgery isn't a legitimate excuse for lateness, I don't know what is.**

**Also, I can't believe I just spent like 15,000 words on a game which has nothing to do with the plot. O.O It seemed like a good idea at the time!**


	16. Tokyo Pop 3

**Because we're really overdue for one of these!**

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 14**

**Tokyo Pop- The blog of Honda Kyoya**

Konnichiwa, yet again! I am glad to report that school is going quite well for me at the moment! In fact, I even received an A for that project for my Business Administration class. Unfortunately, I am having some minor issues in my Chemistry class, but I am hopeful that I will be able to correct all misunderstandings in the very near future. In short, XD

And of course, as always I have the most up-to-date and accurate information regarding Student Council Elections- including some new developments! Some rather... odd... new developments actually... O.o If you'll recall, not long ago it had been established that, for the moment at least, I was the only one running for the office of Student Council Secretary. This is no longer the case. Now, of course I am all for healthy competition, and under normal circumstances would be wishing the best of luck and a good clean race to my opponent. However... under normal circumstances, my opponent would not have green, leathery skin and a carapace.

It seems that Sydney-san has entered one of her turtles into the race.

No, this is not a joke... she has a turtle running for every office. She says that if- or, in her words, 'when'- they win, they will be puppet leaders for her iron-fisted regime. I... I am not quite sure what to think. Of course, I don't believe that the chances of losing to a turtle are very high, but quite frankly, which is better? Winning against no one, or winning against a reptile? On the other hand, if I lost, I would be losing to a turtle, which is even more- ah, what is the word?- lame. Yes, that's it. Lame.

Perhaps I am just making a mountain out of a mole-hill. Okinawa has told me that I tend to do that. Ah well, we shall see how things go soon enough. And besides, it is not like I have much to loose anyway.

In other news, recently, I also volunteered to donate blood at Ashton's annual Halloween Blood Drive! The kids in the HOSA class run the blood drive under the supervision of Miss McGowan and someone from the Red Cross, but they are always looking for volunteers to help out if anyone is interested. I admit though, the HOSA students can be a bit... ehh... tenacious. O.O In a scary way. If you are eligable to donate blood, they are masters at the art of the guilt-trip. -_- I was not planning to donate because I have such low blood pressure, but well... Clara and her HOSA friends can be quite persuasive.

Is anyone else planning to donate?

Sayōnara,

Tokyo

_There are_ **_**a lot of** _**_comments on this post._

**Georgia** says: "Which is better? Winning against no one, or winning against a reptile?" Is that mud-slinging I sense? ;) Haha, jk! Stop stressing so much, you'll be fine, Tokyo. Nah, I'd donate if I could, but I can't.

**Berlin** says: Sydney did what? Is that even allowed? I will be having words with her (and administration if necessary), about this. I'm planning to donate as well. I've done it plenty of times before, and it is really not a big deal.

**Tokyo** says: According to the rules, there is nothing against animals running, so there is nothing we can do about it. Hai, I know. I, too, donated once before... but I passed out halfway through. :(

**Sicily** says: Ooh, Clara says they give out free orange juice! Is that true?

**Tokyo** says: Hai, they do- and cookies.

**Sicily** says: XD

**Georgia** says: Sorry to burst your bubble, Em, but you can't donate either.

**Sicily** says: :(

**Alaska** says: Dude, join the club. It's stupid.

**Berlin** says: I wonder if Clara has gotten to Serbia yet.

**Alaska** says: Bets on who's gonna win that one?

**Berlin** says: Clara.

**Georgia** says: Clara

**Sicily** says: Clara, of course~

**Tokyo** says: Hai, I agree, Clara.

**Alaska** says: Well that was a waste of a bet. o_o

**Berlin** says: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.

**Alaska** says: Here's another one: practice what you preach.

**Sicily** says: Or how about, if at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you! :)

**Georgia** says: A penny saved is a congressional oversight.

**Tokyo** says: Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

**Sicily** says: That was so profound, Tokyo!

**Tokyo** says: :) Thank you Sicily-san. I had always wanted to say that quote. But the opportunity does not come around very often.

**Berlin** says: Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

**Sicily** says: Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

**Alaska** says: Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

**Georgia** says: This could go on forever...

**OoO**

**Basic blood donor requirements for high-school students: Other than being generally healthy, donors must be at least 16 years old and weigh at least 110 lbs. At least, these are the requirements where I live. *shrugs***

**Also, I didn't make up any of those _lovely_ one-liners. Most of them came straight off of a website~**


	17. I Like Ike

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 15**

It was just a few days before Halloween, and both election day and the blood drive were in full swing.

The blood drive opened right after school at 3, with polls opening promptly at 4 in the Performing Arts Center. They used real electronic ballots like the kind used in public elections, but there were only four, so there was a long line already forming in the hallway.

Kyoya was one of the first to cast his vote, and he felt a twinge of something that he couldn't quite identify when he saw the name Ike Sköldpadda* on the list as running for Treasurer. It was not irritation or sadness or anger, but more of a 'what the hell?' kind of feeling which, surprisingly, he didn't feel very often. Continuing to fill out the ballot, he saw that Mike was the turtle running for Secretary, and Larry for Vice President. Mike, Ike, and... Larry? Sometimes he wasn't sure whether Sydney was an evil genius or just plain crazy. Perhaps both.

After he finished voting, he clicked the 'submit ballot' button and received an 'I voted!' sticker, then left out the same door he'd come in. He passed Avery, who was not far behind him in line, as she went to cast her votes. She had red and white Red Cross bandages on her arm, and he internally cringed at the reminder that he still had to go donate blood and then get to the main office where the results were to be posted at 6. He looked down the long hallway which led to the stage, the walls all covered in campaign posters that technically weren't allowed to be there. Posters were supposed to be kept completely away from this building, but Sydney had come put them up just before polls opened, so no adults had caught sight of them yet.

One poster read _"I Like Mike n' Ike for Student Council Secretary and Treasurer!"_ Well he had to give her credit, that was rather witty.

"Hey, Kyoya!"

He turned around when his name was called. Belle waved him over to where she, Nikolai, and Emillia were waiting in line. "Konnichiwa! I am very glad to see you here! You have not voted yet?"

Emillia shook her head. "Nope. The line is so loooong! But did you see that?" She said, pointing to the posters. "Mike, Ike, and Larry! How adorable!"

Kyoya fidgeted nervously. "Hai... adorable..."

"Oh come on Kyoya, are you really worried about this?"

He sighed, thinking, then said slowly. "Yes and no. I am always worried, Emillia-san. But I believe I will win. After all, I _am_ human- for all intents and purposes- so why would they elect a turtle instead?"

Nikolai shrugged. "I dunno. It doesn't always work like that," he said. "There was an election for mayor in one of my towns, and since no one liked the human candidates, the people organized a write-in and elected a cat instead. It can happen.**"

"I-is that so?" he asked.

"Yep. No joke, dude."

_Perhaps, but Americans are crazy_, was his first thought. Then again, most of the school's population was American. It was just coincidental that many of the people he associated with were not. So that meant... dear God, he was going to loose to a turtle.

Belle quickly interjected, "Either way, it was a good, clean race, and that's what counts, right?"

"Of course," he replied. He knew she was right of course, but on the other hand, this was just plain stupid. He saw another person in line with a Red Cross bandage and was again reminded of the accursed blood drive. "I am sorry, but if you will excuse me, I really must be going."

"Where are you-?" Emillia noticed what he was looking at. "Oh that's right, you're going to be saving lives and getting free orange juice! Lucky... Well, have fun!"

Who knew, maybe it would be fun. Probably not, but there was a chance. The line was still moving forward at a snail's pace as Kyoya headed out to the cafeteria.

OoO

Over an hour later, Kyoya had managed to fill out all the necessary paperwork, navigate through the chaos, and was sitting in a chair waiting to start the actual donation process. He checked his watch for the fifth time in two minutes, wondering how much longer this was going to take. He wasn't quite sure how long it took to donate because he fainted last time, but he'd heard that it wasn't supposed to be any longer than 10 minutes or so.

"Bre, it is still 5:40. The same as it was last time you checked, Kyoya." Milos was sitting across the isle from him, poking the IV needle in his arm and watching with amusement as the blood running from the needle into the tube stopped and started up each time. It was taking twice as long for the blood bag to be filled as it should have been. Clara eventually noticed and scolded him for messing with the equipment, so he stopped.

"I see she was able to convince you to donate," Kyoya said, trying to hide a smile. He would never say it out loud, but he was pretty glad he wasn't the only one who had gotten pressured into this.

Milos immediately understood what he was getting at. "I read your blog, and just so you know, I am here of my own free will, and for the food only."

"I believe you." Only Kyoya could say that with such sincerity while making it perfectly clear that it wasn't true. "But it is no shame, I promise you. The HOSA students can be very persistent. It is simply, um, their love of helping others I suppose."

Milos leaned in and half-whispered, "You must be joking. I have seen firing squads with more compassion!"

Clara bounded over before the conversation could continue. Milos just tried not to be noticed, and Kyoya sent him a tortured look. "Alright, let's get this started! I'm so sorry for the long wait, we're just really busy today. But I'm just glad that everyone's so eager to be saving lives by donating blood!" She pulled out a needle and took Kyoya's arm. "Hold still please. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing!" Clara turned his arm over a few times, trying to find the best vein, and eventually decided on one on the inside of his elbow. It took a little while and the job was not perfect, but for being a student, Clara inserted the IV very well. "There! Now all you have to do it wait until the blood bag is full, and that's it!"

"How simple," he commented, surprised at how well things were going so far. He really didn't want to faint again, but hopefully things would be better this time.

Clara brought over two juice boxes and tossed one to each of them. "If you start to feel light-headed or dizzy or anything, just let me know," she said. Someone called her name from the sign-in center. "Coming!"

"Milos, may I ask you something?" Kyoya asked as soon as she was out of ear-shot.

"Go ahead."

"Do you ever regret that your boss made you come here?"

Milos slid down in his chair a bit, staring intensely at the needle and resisting the urge to start poking it again. "Sometimes, yes! Sometimes I wish I was home so I wouldn't have to put up with certain people who won't be named, and so I could finally speak my own language and have everyone actually understand me. But on the other hand, it _has_ been a lot of fun so far, and it's nice to be a few thousand miles away from the politics and be 'normal' for a little while. So... I would have to go with no. I don't regret it. Why? Do you?"

"No, I was just asking out of curiosity," And so he could force himself to think about something other than the election. "Actually, I asked my boss for permission to sign up for this program in the first place. It was my decision, and I'm glad I made it. My only problem is that I worry too much about everything going on at home." He looked away, laughing nervously. "My boss has politely asked me to stop calling at 3 AM."

"Mm, bre, I love time zone differences."

"You are the only one." He glanced down at the blood bag absently, only to find that it was completely full. He was done. He had successfully donated a full pint of blood and he barely felt any worse than before! He was actually pretty proud of himself. "I think it's finished."

Milos checked his own bag. "Mine too. Where did Clara go?"

"I don't- oh, the time!" He looked at his watch. 5:50! He had only ten minutes to finish up here, eat something, then get to the school office. He was eternally grateful to see Clara come back to check on how things were going.

"Everything alright?"

"Yes," Kyoya said quickly. "I am terribly sorry to inconvenience you, but I really have to leave!"

She gave him a confused look before rezilation dawned on her. "The election! I completely forgot!" She began carefully disconnecting the blood bag, then the tube, and finally taking the IV needle out. Once she was bandaging the needle-prick, she continued, "Technically, I'm suppossed to make sure you eat something here before you leave, but..."

"Please?" He was fidgeting anxiously and she would have felt really guilty if she'd said no. Besides, he looked fine. Nothing was going to happen.

She relented. "Get some cookies off that back table, and you can leave if you promise to eat them."

"Yes, I promise."

"I'm holding you to that, Kyoya Honda!"

"Hai. Thank you, Clara-san." He bowed to her, said goodbye to Milos, and barely stopped at the back table on the way out.

OoO

"Good race, Honda." Sydney said. They were standing around in the office with a few of the other candidates. The winners of the election would be named in the morning announcements the next day, but anyone who wanted to know sooner would have to come to the office where the Secretary would post the list on the bulletin board. She was currently typing up the results to be printed out. "I mean, hey, you're a good guy. Maybe if you ask me nicely, I'll let you be Ike's assistant. When I take over the world, I could use you in my iron-fisted regime."

He studied the clear box she carried which housed three turtles in a little habitat. He spotted Ike peeing on a rock, and that was the final nail in the coffin. "With all due respect, not a chance."

She shrugged. "Suit yourself."

The little old secretary who worked the after-school shift typed painfully slowly, constantly having to clean her glasses and squint at the screen. The minutes ticked by at an absolutely agonizing pace. Finally, after what seemed like years, the kids jumped at the sound of the printer starting up. "Okay, dearies," the secretary said sweetly, shuffling over to the printer, "Is this what you're waiting for?"

"Yes, ma'am," they said in unison.

"Then I'll have it printed for you in two shakes of a lamb's tail! You know I remember the days before computers even existed. We had to chisel everything into slabs of stone and oh dear you wouldn't _believe_ the mess it made! There was one time, in 1937- or was it 1938? No, no, it was 1937, I remember because that was the year I met my husband Bob. He was working in a button factory..."

_Two hours later..._

"...And that's when they invented those newfangled microwaves you kids are so into." She paused. "Now wasn't I going to print something for you younguns?"

Said 'younguns,' who had been in the process of literally being bored to death (Kyoya was unsure how the humans had even survived), were suddenly brought back to life. "Th-the election results!" Sydney told her desperately, leaning on the counter.

"Oh of course! Silly me, always forgetting! I'm afraid my memory isn't what it used to be." She pressed a button on the computer, and within seconds, the election results were starting to print. Kyoya could see the edge of the paper as it was exiting the printer. Yes! Just a little more... a little more...

He blinked. "It stopped."

"Why did it stop?" Sydney was torn between crying and cursing- but it wasn't like she could do either in front of such a nice old lady!

"The printer must be jammed. I'll just take a look here." She moved slowly as one of Sydney's turtles back to the printer, only to turn around and snap her fingers. "Now where did I put my glasses? I can't see any of this gibberish without my glasses!"

Sydney spotted them on the desk. "There they are."

Kyoya leaned on the counter next to her, watching the scene with growing anxiety. Admittedly, he was feeling a little awful by this point, but he wasn't quite sure why. He dismissed it as his nerves getting the better of him. "Sydney-san. You are an office aide. Can't you fix it?"

"I would if I could, but I can't be back there once my shift is over!"

The situation was maddening, but there was nothing they could do. It took another twenty minutes, but eventually she was able to finally get it printed out. They thanked her over and over again as she passed them the paper.

Ashton Boarding School's Official Student Council

President: Sydney Sköldpadda

Vice President: Jeffrey Sinclair

Secretary: Mike Sköldpadda

Treasurer: Kyoya Honda

Sydney nodded approval. It may not have been a complete success, but at least she had a good start. She could always start purging any dissenters later. "Hey, Kyoya, I-"

_Thud! _Oh yeah, he had never actually eaten anything, had he?

She looked down at him. "Fine, take a nap on the floor for all I care!" Boys. Go figure.

"Haha, yeah, you been pwned, Larry!" Jeff cheered tauntingly at Sydney's turtle cage.

She stuck her tongue out at him, clutching the cage protectively. She lifted it to eye-level and pressed her face to the glass. "Come my minions, let's get outta here."

He rolled his eyes but was grinning excitedly. He leaned down over the Japanese teen who was still fainted on the floor in the middle of the office. "Aw, Honda my man! Can't take all the excitement? I know dude, it's like Christmas and a 2 for 1 sale at Wal-Mart all at once! Alright, well, I've gotta go. Catch ya later, alligator!"

The door closed for a second time. There was a long moment of silence.

"Oh, are you still here, dearie? You know I remember the days back before blood drives even existed! We performed ritual human sacrifices if someone ever needed blood! Can you imagine that? I remember once, in 1922..."

**OoO**

*** Sköldpadda is the Swedish word for turtle. It's also Sydney's last name. I changed her and Castel's last names so they wouldn't be the same as cannon characters'- because that really wouldn't make sense.**

**** True fact. Stubbs the cat has been the mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska for 15 years.**

**As an added note, the phrase 'I like Ike' was Eisenhower's campaign slogan when he ran for his first term as President in 1952. Oh Ike, you and your massive retaliation! *tears up* Now _there's_ a man who knows how to fight a Cold War!**


	18. This Is Halloween

**The author asks that the readers please suspend all logic and intelligent reasoning while reading this chapter. The author also apologizes ahead of time for... well, a lot of things.**

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 16**

It was Halloween night at Ashton Boarding School, and we join our heroes outside of building 15 East in the middle of the night, where they all happen to conveniently be for the sake of the plot.

"So are you guys coming, or are you all chicken?" Sydney looked around expectantly at the others. It was pitch black outside, so she could barely see the seven other people, but it would be stupid to turn on a flashlight outside when they weren't even allowed to be there.

"I don't know," Castel said hesitantly. "You want to go read out of a strange Latin book you found in the library in the abandoned second floor of Building 15 East. I mean, the place is off-limits. We're gonna get in trouble, Syd..."

Belle nodded. "And it _is_ Halloween night. This idea just sounds like it's askin' for trouble."

"And have you heard the weather report? There is supposed to be a terrible thunder storm in just a few minutes," Avery said, checking the report on her cell phone.

"So? Who cares?" Sydney asked in exasperation.

"Also, building 15 East is rumored to be haunted, because allegedly, a girl committed suicide on that floor on Halloween night ten years ago."

"And...?"

"And- oh, what's this?" She clicked a button and read something. "It appears that a deranged killer has just escaped from a mental asylum in the area. This is quite inconvenient."

Kyoya quietly commented, "It is strange, though. Even though I know this is a very bad idea and would normally never go along with it, for some reason I have to overwhelming urge to ignore my common sense and go in there anyway."

Everyone voiced their agreement. Even the ones who had expressed hesitance over the idea before had no doubt that they were going to go inside anyway. It was as if all character development and plot structure had just been completely thrown out the window for the sake of a cheap gore-fest with B-rated actors who are only doing this for the money. Unfortunately, in this case, they are neither actors nor getting paid, the latter of which is definitely a good thing for this broke author.

No sooner had that been decided than it started to rain. Sydney opened the conveniently unlocked door, which creaked eerily, and everyone stepped inside. Suddenly, there was a huge gust of wind and the door slammed shut, plunging them into a complete and total darkness so thick you that couldn't see your own hand an inch away from your face. Emillia gasped and grabbed Kyoya's arm. Sydney flicked on her flashlight, and Nikolai turned around to try the doorhandle again. "Aaaand we're locked in."

Sydney shrugged, flipping through the pages of the dusty old book. "Whatever. They'll unlock this place in the morning. The first floor is the swimming pool and the swim team meets at 6 AM or something like that, right?" She took hold of the nearest person's wrist- this person just happened to be Castel- and started dragging him towards the stairs. "So let's head up there and get this party started!"

The wooden stairs were creaky and dilapidated from disuse for these past ten years. The staircase was simply a narrow corridor, wide enough only for one, maybe two people at the most, with walls on both sides.

"M-maybe we should stay on the bottom floor and just wait for the janitor..." Castel suggested when they were about halfway up the stairs.

"What is the point to that?" Milos asked. "If we are going to get in trouble, then why not go all-out?"

Sydney was the first to reach the top, when she bumped her head on something. She reached up and pushed back a hatch which slammed open, and she used the floor of the second story to pull herself up. It was like they were coming from underneath a trapdoor. "Cool..." Sydney looked around and gasped at what she saw. "This is perfect! So creepy, so ominous! Hell, if I was gonna film a horror movie, it'd be right in here!" The place was full of winding hallways, and rooms and doors that led to who-knew-where. They were in the center where the four main hallways met.

Belle was the last one up, but left the hatch open behind her. "So, now what?"

"Now we hold our little seance thing with the book I found and see if the ghost of that dead chick shows up!"

Kyoya quickly objected, "I was unaware that this was the purpose of tonight's, ah, meeting. Attempting to contact a dead person with no knowledge of what we're doing can be quite dangerous."

She rolled her eyes, ignoring him, and motioned for everyone to sit in a circle. He gave up protesting and just went along with it. She set the flashlight in the center, facing up towards the ceiling like a candle. "Anyone know how to read Latin?"

Emillia raised one hand slightly. "I know a little bit..." Italian was a Latin-based language, after all. Sydney tossed her the book from across the circle. Emillia cleared her throat and began to read slowly and clearly. There was dead silence all around the circle, and no one would have admitted it, but there was something in the silence and darkness or maybe the lilt of her voice that was starting to creep everyone out just a little.

The temperature began to drop, and the wind picked up even though they were nowhere near a window. Emillia had to read louder to be heard over the wind. The ground started shaking.

"Emillia, stop!" Kyoya yelled, but she couldn't hear him.

It was getting more and more difficult for her to read as she kept losing focus, as if a switch inside her mind was being flickered on and off. It felt like someone was stabbing her just behind her eyes over and over again, and it hurt so much! She noticed tears starting to fall and her breaths were quick and shallow.

The ground was still shaking and things were rattling, and Sydney's flashlight fell over so there was no way Emillia could still see the words on the page, but she kept reading anyway. Suddenly, she dropped the book and just started screaming. Avery reached over and clamped a hand over her mouth. "Emillia, you will wake up the whole school!" Emillia curled up in a ball, sobbing hysterically. Avery decided to temporarily get over her aversion to physical contact, and hugged her friend close.

Everyone was completely speechless.

Sydney fidgeted nervously. "Uh, maybe this was a bad ide-"

"Get out," Emillia hissed, no longer looking like a scared child. She shoved Avery away and got up.

"What are you-"

"I SAID GET OUT!" She stepped closer and closer to Sydney, who stood as well, not quite sure what was going on. "This has been my house for ten years, and anyone who dares to step foot inside it will pay. YOU WILL PAY!" She lunged at Sydney, wrapping her hands around the girl's throat.

Instantly, several people were trying to separate the two. Sydney kicked her in the shins and grabbed Emillia's shoulders, slamming her sideways into a wall as hard as she could. The smaller girl barely even reacted, just twisted her grip to try and snap Sydney's neck. _Oh god, she's really gonna kill me, isn't she? _She let herself bend with Emillia's movements instead of against them to put less pressure on her neck. She barely managed to blink spots out of the edges of her vision, and in a last attempt to live, she reached over and dug her nails into Emillia's eye socket, scraping her fingers around the eye and pulling until it came off in her hand with a sickening _pop!_.

Emillia just glared and hissed wickedly as though blood from her empty eye socket wasn't dripping down her face, "I want you out of my house right. Now."

There was a struggle, and suddenly, Sydney took a wrong step. Emillia let go. Sydney screamed and fell straight through the trapdoor and tumbled down the staircase. In the next second, Emillia was down the stairs with six other people in pursuit. When they reached the bottom, she threw the door open and raced out towards the pool.

The others stopped. Sydney was lying there on her back, her limbs bent at unnatural angles, and her neck completely snapped. No one needed to check to see if she was still alive, but Kyoya checked for a pulse anyway. No pulse, no breathing. Sydney was really, truly dead.

"Oh my god..." Belle said, just staring in shock.

Castel knelt by her. He was honestly about to cry. "Sydney? Syd, please be okay..."

Kyoya looked away and gestured for the others. They had to focus on other things before they could start to grieve over the death of their friend. "Come. We have to find out where Emillia went."

No sooner had he said that, then the lights flickered on above the pool, bathing the whole place in an eerie white light. Emillia raised her hands up, and the water started to move. It was almost unnoticeable at first, then more and more until it was surging up in waves, rolling over the ground and drenching everything in its path in an inch-thick layer of water.

"Wow. I wish I could do that," Nikolai commented, stepping onto the wet tile floor.

"Wait." Avery pulled him back. "I don't know about this..."

"What are you talking about? It's just water." He stayed back anyway.

There was a loud _ZZZTT!_ like the electricity shorting out. The light fixtures started to pop and sizzle in protest, flickering as though a child were playing with the light switch. The light bulbs could no longer handle the pressure and exploded into a million pieces, falling to earth like sparkling hail. With nothing in the way now, the electrical wires fell also, their ends trailing lightly in the pool. _Zzztt!_

Emillia was standing on the wet floor around the pool. She gasped slightly, froze, then collapsed to the ground as her heart stopped instantly.

"Emillia!" Avery shouted to her, but she didn't dare take another step. There was no reply, as she knew there would be, but the fact that Emillia was really dead felt like someone had just punched her in the stomach. She grit her teeth and spun around. "Everyone, back up the stairs. Now!" No one argued with her.

"So we're trapped then?" Castel asked nervously, desperately hoping that the answer was no, but knowing that it wasn't.

Kyoya nodded. "It appears that way. As long as electricity flows through those wires, anyone who steps in that flooded room will instantly be electrocuted, like..." _Like Emillia_.

When they reached the top, Nikolai made sure the hatch was closed behind them. They would have no need to be going down it anyway for the time being and they didn't want anyone else to fall down it. "Okay, so what was that? Emillia just, I dunno, _snapped_ or whatever."

Castel agreed. "It was like she was possessed."

There was a long silence.

Belle spoke up then, saying exactly what everyone had been thinking. "What if she was possessed? I-it would make sense with the way she was acting."

"It sounds silly," Avery said.

"No, it sounds unrealistic. I always thought that stuff moving on its own like that was unrealistic too, but can you explain what else that was?"

"...No. I can't."

"Bre, but how will we ever get out of here? If anyone comes in, they'll be electrocuted. At least one more person is guaranteed to die if we do not get out before morning."

Avery sighed. "I have a cell phone, but there's no reception here." Which was surprising considering that they were still on campus.

"We could find a window," Nikolai suggested. "Bash it in, climb down, and get help."

"That's not a bad idea. We have two flashlights." Avery tossed one to Castel. "Kyoya, Nikolai, you're with me. We'll search these two halls. The rest of you search the other two. We'll meet back here in fifteen minutes or so."

"I am not sure if splitting up would be the best course of action..." Kyoya said hesitantly.

"It will take forever to find a window if we don't."

He agreed despite the growing feeling of anxiety, and they parted ways with Belle, Castel, and Milos.

OoO

_Ten minutes later..._

"Another dead end, and no window in sight."

It was so strange. From the outside, Kyoya could have sworn that there were at least four windows on each side of the second floor, but now that they were actually _on_ the second floor, it seemed like there were no exits at all. And it was taking forever. There were two main hallways that they were supposed to search, but once they started going down them, they came across at least a dozen winding, maze-like side hallways for each main one. So why weren't there any windows? There must have been something they were missing.

"How many more side hallways are left?" Nick asked as they backtracked to the main hall again.

Avery shook her head and shrugged. "Fifteen, at least."

"Great." They made it back to one of the main halls and were just about to repeat the process of going all the way to the end of the next side-hall. "Hey, this one looks pretty short. It'll only take a second, so you guys start on the next one and I'll catch up with you."

"Alright, but be careful."

"Yeah, whatever."

Kyoya and Avery got about halfway, before Kyoya suddenly froze, gasping as he remembered something. "We should not have split up."

Avery raised an eyebrow shining the flashlight on him. "What?"

"Correct me if I am wrong, but were you not talking about a deranged killer in the area just before we came in?"

"Yeees..." she replied slowly. "But there is no way..." Or was there? She blinked in shock. "You think?"

He shook his head, his anxiety getting worse and worse by the second. "I do not know."

Without another word, they ran back the way they came and turned down the shorter hallway, this time walking quietly and on the lookout for anything. They heard coughing, and Avery flicked the light in the direction of the sound. "Oh..."

Nikolai was sitting on the floor against the wall, coughing violently and clutching his throat. There was blood _everywhere_. Avery quickly did a thorough search of the hall to make sure no one was around. The area was completely empty, so whoever had done this must have already made it back to the main hallway. Kyoya and Avery had been so lucky not to have run into them.

"Please keep watch, Avery-san," Kyoya said. He knelt down next to Nikolai, taking in the extensive damage and knowing that there was nothing he could do. His throat has been slit, and Kyoya estimated that he had about twenty seconds to live, if even that.

He reached out and grabbed the front of Kyoya's shirt, pulling him closer. Blood was dripping down his arm and all over Kyoya's clothes, but Kyoya decided that now was probably not the best time to point that out. "K... Ky..." He was trying to tell him something- maybe something important- but could barely speak through the blood.

"What is it?"

It took a little while, but he managed to choke out, just barely loud enough for Kyoya to hear, "...Up..."

Then his hand fell, eyes darkening, and he was dead.

Kyoya immediately backed up, grabbing the flashlight from Avery and shining it at the ceiling. He realized that this place didn't just have a solid ceiling. There were huge, sturdy rafters, and enough space between the rafters and the ceiling for someone to climb into. At first he didn't see anything out of the ordinary, but suddenly, his gaze met with a pair of glistening eyes and a wicked smile from almost directly above them.

"RUN!"

He and Avery shot down the hall as fast as they could. Kyoya had never been good at sports or physical activities, but it was surprising how fast one can run when running for their life. Avery was just a few feet ahead of him the whole time, and he could hear heavy footsteps gaining on them. They were almost back to the center area where they had parted ways with the others earlier. Kyoya had no idea where they were going to go next, how they could ever possibly evade the killer. It felt like being a lab rat running through a maze with no exit!

He heard a sound like the cracking of a whip, and he nearly screamed as he saw the handle of a knife sticking out the back of Avery's skull. She fell forward in mid-run and hit the ground hard. No one could survive a knife going straight through their brain, it just wasn't possible. He turned to look as he passed, fighting the overwhelming urge to go back. He forced himself to speed up and look away, and realized too late that he was running right into the path of a dark figure.

He crashed into the figure and they both ended up on the floor. Kyoya decided right then and there that he was not going to die without a fight. It was a fight he would surely lose, but he had to try. He started punching and kicking the figure as hard as he could, anything to disable them. He felt hands clamp tightly around his wrists.

"Bre, calm down, Kyoya! It's just me!"

That voice sounded so familiar. He finally allowed his vision to really to focus on the person he was trying to clobber, and breathed a huge sigh of relief. "Oh Milos, thank God! I am so very sorry! Are you alright?" Milos let go when he was sure Kyoya wasn't going to try and kill him again, and Kyoya immediately backed up to a more respectable distance.

Milos sat up slowly, making sure there was no serious damage done. He could already practically feel the bruises on his ribs and cheek forming, but it was nothing that required medical attention. "I'm completely fine."

Somehow, Kyoya didn't seem extremely thrilled about that. It wasn't that he wanted to hurt Milos of course. It was the fact that if Milos really had been the killer, well, knowing that he hadn't even caused any damage was a bit depressing.

He stood up quickly and looked around. The killer was nowhere to be found, they didn't know their way around this place at all, and he still had no idea how to get out. What should they do?

"Where are the others?" Belle asked him.

Kyoya couldn't bear to look her in the eyes. "They... they are dead."

"_Dead_? They can't be dead!"

"There is a deranged killer on the loose in this building right now. We must find a way to get out of here before we are next."

"First a ghost possesses Emillia, now you're saying there's a killer hell-bent on hunting us down?" It was getting to be a bit much. She knew he would never do anything like it, but... "If this is a joke, Kyoya, knock it off cuz it ain't funny."

He had watched four people he cared about die violently in the course of about an hour, and she had the nerve to think it was a joke? He threw her the flashlight. "Shine it on me, Belle-san, and tell me what you see." He knew that this was a little cruel, but there was no other way.

She did, and gasped at the sight. "Blood... so much of it." She paused for a long time, just staring at it. Her first instinct was to think that it was Kyoya's, but there was no way someone could lose that much and survive, and Kyoya seemed completely unharmed. So it much have been someone else's. "Whose?"

"Your brother's."

She flinched, but didn't say anything.

"We never found a window," Castel interjected solemnly. "Did you?"

"No. We must continue to search, but we cannot split up again."

Milos laughed humorlessly. "When did you become such an expert on all this?"

"I am Japanese. We are masters at the art of the horror movie- and I fear that that is exactly what this is."

_Ckkkkkhhhh..._

It sounded like nails on a plaster wall, and all four of them froze. There was dead silence after the sound so that one could have heard a pin drop, and no one dared to even breathe- let alone speak- for fear of someone hearing. Except for one person. One person in the room was breathing slowly and heavily in an eerie sort of way that froze the blood in their veins, but none of them could- or wanted to- figure out who it was.

_CCKKKKKKKHHHHHHH..._

The same sound, but much louder. Kyoya didn't even need to look to know exactly what- or rather, who- it was. And the other three were able to figure it out very quickly. The killer, dressed all in black and wearing a black ski mask, pulled out a long butcher knife and launched it at Milos. It very nearly skewered him, but he just barely managed to dodge out of the way a split second before it was too late.

There was instant panic. Kyoya and Belle were the only ones who stayed together, running in one direction, while Milos and Castel each tore down one of the other three main hallways that the killer was not blocking. Kyoya and Belle turned a corner and continued down a side hall. He realized too late that it led to a dead end, not another hallway. He spotted a door- one of many- to the right and wrenched it open. It was a supply closet, and though he had heard thousands of times before that you should never hide in a closet when in a horror movie, he had this sickening hunch that the killer was following them instead of one of the others. There was literally nowhere else to go.

They both pressed up against the back wall. Not ten seconds later, there were those same heavy footsteps coming down the hall. Belle pressed one hand over her mouth to try and keep herself from hyperventilating and giving away their location. She took Kyoya's hand with her free one and squeezed it tightly.

The steps stopped right in front of the closet door.

Kyoya's heartbeat sped up so fast he was almost sure the killer could hear it. If nothing else, he could smell the fear radiating off the pair in waves. This was it. They were really going to die. He held Belle's hand tighter. It may have sounded awful, but Kyoya vaguely thought that perhaps dying would not be quite so scary if he wasn't alone. He was almost certain she was thinking the same thing.

And then...

...the footsteps walked back down the hall the way they'd come.

Neither of them said anything for a long, long time. They couldn't believe it or thought if they made a sound the killer would be back to finish them off. Eventually, Belle managed to get up the courage to whisper, "He knew we were here."

"Yes, he did." He must have. It was so obvious. "He must be going after one of the others instead."

"But who?"

There were screams coming from somewhere not all that far away, and their question was answered. "Castel..."

Belle threw the closet door open and started running towards the sound. Kyoya grabbed her shoulder to stop her. "Where are you going?" As if he didn't already know the answer.

"Four people are already dead, Kyoya. Two at his hands. And I don't care what you do, but I ain't gonna stand around and let another person die if I can help it."

It was stupid. It was a really stupid idea, and he knew it. She probably did too. Castel would likely be dead by the time they got there, or they could run into the killer- or both. But despite that, Kyoya found himself nodding in agreement and running down the hall along with her towards the sound of tortured screaming that pierced the air like a knife.

They stopped in front of a room. Light spilled out from under the door, glowing and flickering like a candle. They ran inside and shut it behind them. The room was scorching hot, and smelled like something was burning. There was a giant old black furnace that took up almost the whole room. It was rusted and metal, with a hatch in the middle. The hatch had thin slits which the fire was flickering out of. They moved closer, and when they did, they could just barely make out the image of a person. Inside.

"LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! IT BURNS!"

Belle started yanking at the hot metal hatch as hard as she could, but it was padlocked shut. Kyoya searched the room for something to break the lock with. There was nothing else he could use, and he had nothing with him but the flashlight, so he took the flashlight and bashed it into the padlock over and over again. It didn't even so much as dent the metal, but the light shattered to pieces. "I don't know what to do," he said frantically. "It w-will not break."

Castel was still screaming. Every second was pure torture, but his body just refused to die, refused to give up. His flesh was becoming charred and blackened, and he put his hand to the hatch, unable to fit more than his fingers through the slits.

Even though it burned, Belle pressed her hand to his fingers. Kyoya threw the flashlight aside, no longer caring about anything, and did the same.

The sounds of dying didn't stop for a while, and long after they had ceased on the outside, they continued to ring in Belle and Kyoya's minds.

"Let's go." Kyoya said quietly, helping her up. "We should find Milos-san and continue to look for a way out of here." She just stared blankly at the furnace, giving no indication that she'd even heard him. "Follow me."

He led her through the winding corridors. They had to be quiet, so Kyoya just opened every door they came across, searching for Milos. Hopefully he had made it to somewhere safe. Hopefully he was still alive, but Kyoya did not have much hope left.

Another room. Nothing. Another room. Nothing. Another roo- He nearly screamed. Milos's body was hanging by a noose around his neck which was tied to a ceiling rafter. He was already long dead, with limbs hanging limply, expression uncharacteristically vacant. The slight breeze Kyoya had made when he opened the door caused the rope to swing just an inch or two, creaking as it did so.

"I am so, so sorry, Milos-san..." he whispered. For letting this happen. For letting all six of these deaths happen. He had personally witnessed almost every one, and he hadn't been able to save any of them.

Belle didn't react. He was beginning to think she wasn't even seeing it in the first place.

He was just about to close the door, when something glinting on the floor caught his attention. It was a knife. He picked it up. It was a small dagger of sorts, and there was no blood or anything on it. He assumed it must have been Milos's; maybe he'd tried to use it on the killer earlier but accidentally dropped it. Kyoya carefully pocketed the knife and closed the door.

Kyoya turned around. Belle was gone. Just gone. Without a second thought, he raced down the hall, towards the center area where they'd started from. She had to be around here somewhere. He had only looked away for a second! He had already let six people die, there was no way he was going to do it again.

He reached the end of the hall just as the killer, using a knife to cut, shoved his whole hand literally straight through her stomach and out her back.

Her eyes widened, and she looked down in surprise at the arm impaling her and the blood quickly starting to leak out around the edges of the wound. Her legs gave out, but he had a tight grip on her hair.

Kyoya took a deep breath and pulled out the knife. He had only one chance to get this right. He may not have been able to save the others, and he knew he wasn't going to be able to save Belle either, but Kyoya was not going to die- and especially without making this man pay dearly for their deaths.

The killer suddenly ripped his arm out all at once, leaving a gaping, bloody hole. She wanted to scream, but he had punctured one of her lungs and she could barely even breathe. He slammed head back and into the wall, hard. Once. Twice. She blacked out on the third hit, but he didn't stop. Within seconds, the whole back of her head had been completely bashed in, the bone ground into little shards.

Kyoya had no idea how to properly go about this, so he just ran straight at the masked man and tackled him, plunging the knife into the base of his skull. He dropped Belle's dead body and collapsed, but Kyoya knew better than to think he had really killed him. He stabbed the man again, this time in the back. He lifted the knife again, and then he just started frantically stabbing over and over again until the killer's whole face was mangled beyond recognition. But even then he still wasn't completely sure, so, barely holding back tears, he began sawing the man's head off with the knife. Back and forth, back and forth. The edge was a little dull so it took forever and a half, and he winced whenever he heard bones crunching.

The second he was done, he just picked the head up and chucked it across the room as hard as he could. He never had been very good at shot-put throwing, so it only fell less than ten feet away, but he could not have cared less by that point.

It was over. It was finally over. He was the only one left. He still didn't know how he was going to get out of there, but it didn't matter much anymore. Worst case scenario, he would just wait for the flooding to subside on the first floor and then break a window there. He knew he would have to move down to the bottom of the staircase soon- staying on this floor would bring nothing but trouble, guaranteed- but for the moment he really just needed a little time to pull himself together. Not that he thought that was possible right then, but still. He moved away from both bodies, brought his knees to his chest, and buried his head in his arms, crying quietly. If someone had asked him why he was crying at that moment, he honestly wouldn't have been able to give an answer. There were simply too many things to name.

"Kyoya?"

His head snapped up to look at the source of the voice.

"Kyoya, why are you crying?" Belle used the wall to help her sit up because all the muscles in her abdomen had been ripped to shreds. He must have been imagining things- there was no other explanation. It was not physically possible to survive such brutal injuries, let alone be sitting up and talking like nothing was wrong! He stood up, completely at a loss for what to do.

There were footsteps, and he spun around. Avery was right behind him, with Nikolai next to her. Avery reached back behind her and pulled the knife cleanly out of her head, wiping the blood on her shirt nonchalantly. Neither of them were breathing, and Nikolai's neck wound wasn't bleeding anymore, probably because his heart had stopped beating as well. Then the trapdoor banged open. Sydney climbed out, bones snapping and cracking with every move. Emillia emerged a moment later. He winced as he saw her gouged-out eye again. She slammed the trapdoor shut.

"Hi Kyoya!" She said cheerily.

Well what was he supposed to say to that? "H-hello...?"

He turned to the left. Milos was leaning against the wall, with the noose still hanging loosely around his neck. He gave Kyoya a little wave, then motioned for someone behind him to hurry up. A few steps behind him was a dark figure. The person's flesh was charred so badly it was pitch-black and they left a trail of ashes with every step. It was impossible to make out any of their features, except Kyoya could clearly see Castel's pale green eyes against the black backdrop.

"You..." he started. "You are dead..."

Emillia giggled. "Well of course we're dead, silly!" She stepped closer to him, and he found himself instinctually backing away from all of them. "We're waiting~"

"F-for what?"

"For you to join us, of course!"

"Uh... no thank you. I am afraid I will have to pass on that one." He tried to back up again, but found that he had nowhere to go. He was completely surrounded. He saw an opening and tried to make a break for it, but Avery grabbed him by the neck of his shirt and dragged him backwards. They may have been dead, but 'zombies' was definitely not the right word to describe what they were. They were just as strong and were able to function just as well as when they had been alive. But he had no chance against all seven of them, especially since he could not kill or hurt someone who was already deceased!

"Um, could I do it?" Castel asked. "I've never killed anyone before."

"I already called dibs on whoever survived," Sydney told him.

"Oh. Okay."

Avery tossed her the knife. "Try not to get too carried away."

Sydney rolled her eyes and stepped closer. He couldn't back up any more; all he could do was watch as she drove the knife through his sternum.

"_Kyoya?_"

The voice seemed to come from out of nowhere.

"_Hey, Kyoya, are you okay? Kyoya!_"

He blinked, and suddenly the knife and Sydney and the whole world dissolved into blackness and reappeared as something else entirely. "What?"

"Dude, are you alright?" Nikolai asked him. "You were just staring into space for like the last minute or so."

"I-it was nothing..." Wow. That had to have been one of the strangest and scariest things that had ever happened to him. He thought they had all died and then were trying to kill him, and even though now he knew he had imagined the whole thing, it had just felt so completely _real_.

"So are you guys coming, or are you all chicken?" He did not just hear Sydney say that. He realized with horror then that they were outside Building 15 East in the middle of the night. No. This could not be happening- not again! Wait. There was a specific order, right? So everything was alright as long as Castel didn't say-

"I don't know. You want to go read out of a strange Latin book you found in the library in the abandoned second floor of Building 15 East. I mean, the place is off-limits. We're gonna get in trouble, Syd..."

They were all so totally, completely screwed, and none of them except Kyoya even knew it yet.

**OoO**

**Well this was a fun chapter. Just FYI, it has nothing to do with the plot, and it is not 'to be continued'. And even though I specifically promised in the beginning that I would not kill off any characters, since this was technically just Kyoya's 'vision', so to speak, they weren't really dead so I never broke the promise. Loop hole! ;) Sure, there are a ton of plot holes (like, what the heck is a working furnace doing on the second floor of a pool building? Also, if Milos was hanged, how did he get down for the end part? Same with Castel.) and it hits at least four horror genres (haunted house, demonic/ghostly possession, slasher, the undead- plus a little Final Destination at the very end). Everyone reading this is probably like 'why so many confusing genre switches?' And, um... no real reason, I guess. But it was fun! :D**

**During the whole fight with Emillia and Sydney, I kept thinking 'okay, Emillia's pretty small and she may be strong, but not ****_that_ strong, so they would probably be able to stop her! Gyahh! Y u stupid people have to be there and ruin the fight to the death? Hey, I know! I'll just give a vague mention of everyone else and then completely ignore them!' Which was why it seemed like everyone was just standing there doing nothing. It seemed like a good idea at the time.**

**Not gonna lie, I'd really like to hear opinions on this one. Was what you thought would happen the same as what actually happened? Were there even any slightly scary parts at all? Should I stop going on really long tangents and just stick to the freakin' plot already?**

**Oh, and one more thing (yes, long author note is long). In the last chapter, Ayai asked a good question, so I thought I'd just answer it here so everyone will know. When will updates be? Well, for the moment, updates are gonna be just whenever- but hopefully not too far apart. But once school starts and things settle down more, then there might be a more regular schedule again. :)**


	19. Givin' Shakespeare Major Props

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 17**

It was early in November on the day which had been anticipated eagerly by theater geeks everywhere: the morning of auditions for the school play. The Performing Arts Center was not exactly packed with auditioners, but there were enough people for a decent-sized cast, and then some.

It probably does not come as a surprise that Belle was one of the first people there to fill out their forms and find a seat in the audience. And it would also be reasonable to expect that Kyoya might also get up the nerve to show up as well. However, it may come as more of a surprise that, not only did they come to the audition, but so did... well, a lot of people who, quite frankly, probably shouldn't have.

"Does karaoke night at a bar count as theater experience? It _is_ in front of an audience." Milos was in the third row of the audience, next to Nikolai, and filling out a few forms given out in the lobby. Milos had decided long ago that if he never saw another piece of paperwork ever again, he would be the happiest nation alive. It was such a pity that fate seemed to have it in for him.

Nikolai slid down in his seat, watching people walk by and vaguely wondering if escape was still possible. It wasn't, or else he'd have to face the wrath (or at least mild disappointment) of the councilor who told him to either join _something_ and be more social, or come in twice a week instead of once. "When did you-?"He stopped abruptly. "No, nevermind, I don't even want to know. But uh, I'm gonna have to say that it probably doesn't count. Could be wrong on that one though. You should ask."

"Then I have nothing. I've played in a band, and sang in one, but never acted much before. You?"

"I've been in a play once, but I didn't really have a choice."

At that point, Clara went up on stage to make an announcement. "Hi everyone! I'm Clara, and I'll be the assistant director for Ashton's rendition of William Shakespeare's 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'."

"Is it just me, or am I sensing a running gag here?" Milos whispered.

"What, you mean how Clara does, like, everything?" Nikolai asked, scribbling down one last thing on his papers.

"Yes."

"Hmm... I think it's just you."

"When you finish filling out the papers, just keep them with you at your seat," Clara continued. "You'll give them to the director, Miss Jen, when you go up on stage to do a cold reading- oh, that means you do the scene with a few people without any previous preparation. We'll get started in just a few minutes!" Then she scurried off the stage as though she were a frenzied little mouse. Milos could understand why. She was involved in every single club and activity in the school- no wonder she was always in a hurry.

A little less than five minutes later, Miss Jen went in front of the group and gave everyone a little background of the play, who the characters were, and made the performance date known. "Now remember, we only have a month, so I want to have this cast as soon as possible so we can start rehearsals." She went to her fold-out table which was set up in front of the stage and began flipping through stacks and stacks of papers until she finally found what she was looking for.

"Now this is the first scene, where Egeus come to Theseus with his complaint about his daughter, Hermia. So I want... let's see, how am I going to do this? Alright, I want Peter to come up and read for Egeus. Dawson, you'll read for Theseus. Maria, I'll have you read for Hippolyta. Emillia, please read Hermia for me. And... Castel, would you read Demetruis, and Kyoya read for Lysander."

She passed out scripts and everyone got up on stage. Dawson was the first one to speak.  
>"<em>Now, fair Hippolyta, our nuptial hour <em>  
><em>Draws on apace; four happy days bring in<em>  
><em>Another moon: but, O, methinks, how slow<em>  
><em>This old moon wanes!...<em>"

(Ye Olde Speak (YOS) to English translation: Hey, Hippolyta, we're gonna be married at the next full moon in just four days! But man, this is taking for freaking ever!)

Everyone in the audience watched intently. Halfway through the scene, Milos leaned over to whisper. "I doubt that Dawson has any idea what he's even saying, but he's actually good!"

Nikolai nodded, just as shocked as Milos was. "Yeah, I definitely didn't see that one coming."

"_Relent, sweet Hermia:_" Castel/Demetrius said quietly, not daring to take his eyes off of the script, "_and, Lysander, yield thy crazed title to my certain right._"

Kyoya/Lysander replied, "_You have her father's love, Demetrius; let me have Hermia's: do you marry him?_" **(AN: Best. Line. Ever.)**

"Ah, I'm going to stop you here for one moment!" Mis Jen called from the audience. "Demetrius, I need more..." she gestured wildly, but just couldn't come up with the right words. Eventually, she settled on, "..._emotion_, from you. You are completely head-over-heels in love with Hermia, and head-over-sword in hate with Lysander! Show me more passion!"

Castel nodded, shaking just a little. "Um... okay." Passion. He could do that, right? "_Relent, sweet Hermia!,_" he shouted in total monotone. "_A-and Lysander-_" he pointed an accusing finger at him, nearly poking Kyoya's eye out in the process. He continued to yell, "_Yeild thy crazed... _uh..." He had to glance at the script for an awkward five seconds or so. "_Crazed title to my certain right!_" Everyone simply stared, wondering what on earth they'd just witnessed.

Miss Jen gave him a thumbs-up, "Now see how much better that was after just one more try?"

"Y-yes ma'am." Okay, that was a lie.

_Two hours and one mildly boring audition later..._

Director: Miss Jen  
>Everything Else: Clara de la Cruz<p>

CAST:

The Athenians:  
>Theseus (Duke of Athens)- Brent<br>Hippolyta (Queen of the Amazons, betrothed to Theseus)- Maria Sanchez  
>Philostrate (Master of the Revels)- Charlotte<br>Egeus (father of Hermia, wants her to marry Demetrius)- Lewis Abernathy  
>Hermia (in love with Lysander)- Sydney Sköldpadda<br>Helena (in love with Demetrius)- Belle Jones  
>Lysander (in love with Hermia)- Kyoya Honda<br>Demetrius (also in love with Hermia)- Dawson O'Brady

The Fairies:  
>Oberon (Titania's husband and King of the Fairies)- Milos Nemanic<br>Titania (Oberon's wife and Queen of the Fairies)- Avery Herrmann  
>Puck (fairy servant to Oberon)- Emillia Vargas<br>Peaseblossom (fairy servant to Titania)- Rika  
>Cobweb (fairy servant to Titania)- Clara de la Cruz<br>Moth (fairy servant to Titania)- Aarya  
>Mustardseed (fairy servant to Titania)- Danny<br>A Fairy (a fairy)- Cassandra Densen

The Mechanicals (an acting troupe):  
>Peter Quince (carpenter, leads the troupe and plays Prologue)- Castel Panecillo<br>Nick Bottom (weaver, plays Pyramus) - Nikolai Jones  
>Francis Flute (a bellows-mender, plays Thisbe)- Jeff Sinclair<br>Robin Starvling (tailor, plays Moonshine)- Jin  
>Tom Snout (tinker, plays Wall)- Emilio Santos<br>Snug (a joiner, plays a Lion)- Peter

"Awesome! I get to play Flute who plays Thays-bay! That's like being two people yo," Jeff said way too enthusiastically. "Man, I've gotta give Shakespeare major props- how the heck does anyone write like a gazillion plays in poetry form? He must have way too much free time on his hands... or a rhyming dictionary."

"Did ryhming dictionaries even exist back then?" Nikolai wondered. "Whatever. Anyway, it's pronounced like This-bee. And Thisbe is a girl."

Jeff pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. "Aw man! Well who are you exactly?"

"Uhh..." He scanned the list until he found his name. "Great. I'm Bottom, the guy who gets turned into a half-donkey thing."

Milos face-palmed when he found out what part he had gotten. "Bre, at least you don't have to be a fairy." He added as an after-thought, "I never thought I would end up married to a girl who's eight centimeters taller than me. It's a little awkward."

Emillia, who had been one of the first ones to see the list, was absolutely thrilled about her part as Puck. "Aw, don't be all sad panda, Milos! It'll be fun! And maybe if we're lucky, you, Avery, and I will get to wear cute pink fairy wings with lots of glitter."

Jeff had to cough to keep from laughing. Nikolai smirked, commenting unhelpfully, "Oh Emillia, don't let his death-glare fool you. He just couldn't even bear to get his hopes up for something so wonderful."

Milos replied cheerfully, "And perhaps if _you're_ lucky, you won't get fleas from the donkey costume- but I would not get my hopes up if I were you."

Nikolai didn't have a chance to make a comeback, as Sydney bounded over and threw an arm over Kyoya's shoulder. "Hey future hubby," she joked, "I can't wait to see how this turns out, can you?"

He wondered if it was possible to inconspicuously put a little distance between himself and Sydney, but decided against it. "Hai, absolutely, I am quite excited. And as they say, 'the course of true love never did run smooth.'"

"They do say that, don't they?"

Meanwhile, Belle grabbed three scripts from the pile on the table: one for herself, and one for Cassandra and Avery who she had been talking to near the back of the theater. As she walked back towards them, she flipped through a script absently while inconspicuously looking out for the one person she was trying desperately to avoid.

"Hey, Belle," Speak of the devil, and the devil shall appear. It was Dawson. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

She quickly spun around, and he flinched just slightly. "What?" She asked coldly, making sure there was a respectful distance between them, and then some.

He sighed and said resolutely, looking her right in the eyes in a way that made her just a bit nervous, "Look, you know we're going to have to work together on this. If we can't even stand to be in the same room together, it'll hurt the play, so-"

"It's called 'acting' for a reason, Dawson," she interrupted. "You don't have to like anyone, you just have to pretend. Besides, we've managed to get along just fine from opposite sides of the room in drama class these past few weeks." He didn't say anything. "If that's all, then I really must be going." She started to turn around, thankful that the conversation was over.

"Wait!" She turned around slowly. "Kissing you like that was not cool, and I know you won't- or can't- forgive me now, but what about a truce? Can we have a temporary truce, just until the end of the play?"

It sounded innocent enough, but Belle wasn't sure. She knew he still liked her- he made it painfully obvious, frequently leaving notes in her locker, sitting next to her in class even though she refused to speak to him. As much as she hated to admit it, the problem was... despite everything he'd done, everything he'd said, and despite the fact that she knew he would never really be able to understand her... she still liked him too. The idea made her want to slap herself for being such a hopeless romantic, but even though she consciously knew he wasn't a good person, there was just something intriguing about the idea of fixing that. Fixing him. Belle spent more time than she'd like to admit trying to push that thought away. "Fine," she said eventually. "Just temporarily though!"

He grinned, "Cool! By the way, we're watching a basketball game in the rec room tonight. You're welcome to come- I mean, of course the rec room's open to anybody, but... aw hell, you know what I mean."

"I have a lot of homework tonight," she said, knowing he'd get the hint.

Dawson nodded, then shrugged. "Well if you change your mind, you know where to find me."

**OoO**

**Ah, A Midsummer Night's Dream: a genius comedy about how fickle and illogical love can be, and my favorite Shakespeare play ever! Yes, technically Puck is supposed to be a guy, but I always thought Emillia would make an adorable Puck- and besides, I've been in this play twice, and both times we had girls playing that part. Milos as Oberon, the Fairy Creeper? Heck yeah! And Belle and Dawson as Helena and Demetrius? Come on, now that one was just predictable! Silly Belle, thinking you were finished dealing with him!**

**Character romances (yes, even the ridiculous ones): Thesus/Hippolyta, (onesided) Demetrius/Hermia, Lysander/Hermia, (onesided, eventually two-sided) Helena/Demetrius, (onesided) Lysander/Helena, Oberon/Titania, (onesided) Titania/Bottom, (in the 'play within the play') Pyramus/Thisbe**

**If you know at least the basic plot of a Midsummer Night's Dream, you should be fine. But if you've never heard of it before, then you may want to follow yonder link just to get a general idea. Sorry that the link is weird. Fanfiction is being a meanie-face. Obviously, take out spaces, and where it says 'insert slash' you- get this- insert a slash. O.O No ve~!**

**www. shmoop . com (insert slash)midsummer-nights-dream/summary. html**


	20. SOS (Save Our Show)

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 18**

Rehearsals had been going on every day after school for nearly three weeks, and many things were becoming clear.

First, it was a good thing that A Midsummer Night's Dream was a comedy, because if it hadn't been one, it sure would have been by the time they finished slaughtering it.

Second, not everyone was terrible. Peter and Jin, who had two of the smallest parts, were actually starting to upstage some of the others with their general zany ad-lib antics. And Avery fit the part of Titania rather nicely. It was really a pity that her character spent about a third of the play asleep. Surprisingly, Sydney also got into character well- so well in fact that she continually made Kyoya nervous with her lovey-dovey attitude. The second they got off stage after their first scene together, Sydney burst out laughing, only confirming the notion that she'd been doing all of it on purpose.

Third, not everyone was terrible... but the grand majority were certainly approaching it. The fairy 'mafia', as Peaseblossom and her cohorts had been dubbed early on, were consistently missing their entrances; and even when they managed to make it on time, they could never remember the choreography of their little fairy dance and ended up tripping all over each other. Castel was quiet and awkward, as usual, but what made it more awkward was his character's interactions with Nikolai's character in the scenes with the Mechanicals. Between the two of them- nervous Castel who pointlessly yelled half his lines and forgot the other half, and Nikolai who was stiff and uncomfortable on stage and looked like he wished someone would just go up there and shoot him- it looked like some lame joke with a nonexistent punch line. Milos and Emillia worked well together... except for the fact that Milos could never remember his blocking, and Emilla knew every line in the play- except her own. It was painfully obvious to everyone watching that the frequent not-so-inconspicuous whispering and gestures and occasional shoves were not part of the play, but the two of them were so entertaining and seemed to make it work so well that it was _almost_ believable.

"All right, cast." Miss Jen called everyone to a meeting at the beginning of rehearsal that Friday. "So I know it may not seem like it right now, but we're really not in a terrible place. We've had a slow start, but I've had casts bounce back from much worse beginnings than this. We just need to work out a few kinks here and there."

The students found that rather hard to believe, but many of them who weren't new to Ashton had seen last year's production, "The Odd Couple", and it had been _really_ good. Miss Jen clearly had a way with turning a whole production around, so maybe this would be no different. If nothing else, the fact that she'd had way worse plays get better was a little encouraging.

"So I'd like to run the first scene of Act one- just the part with Lysander, Hermia, and Helena. I think we just need to tighten up some blocking and it'll be good. As for everyone else, we still have a lot of set painting to do, so- let's see, can I have the Mechanicals and the rest of the Athenians continue painting the forest backdrop, and the Fairies start on Titania's bower. Clara has all the set department's notes here, so if there are any questions, bring them to her. Lysander, starting from "_How now, my love! why is your cheek so pale?_"

OoO

"_Not for thy fairy kingdom. Fairies, away! We shall chide downright, if I longer stay._" Avery motioned for the fairies to lead the way off stage right. Aarya stopped their fairy circle-dance in mid-step, and Clara crashed into her, and then Danny and Rika. "Traffic jam," Avery muttered quietly as the mafia scrambled to right themselves.

As they eventually began to make their way off stage, Milos called after Avery, "_Well, go thy way: bre, thou shalt not from this grove till I torment thee for this injury. My gentle Puck, come hith-_"

"Wait, can I stop you for just a second here?" Miss Jen called from the audience.

"Yes?"

"What exactly did you say? I don't recall that word being in the script..."

He looked at her curiously. "What do you mean?" He was pretty sure he had said the lines exactly as written that time.

Miss Jen shuffled through a few papers until she located the right page in the script. "You added a word in there. After '_go thy away_'."

"_Go thy away: thou shalt not from this grove till I torment thee for this injury._ That's right?"

She nodded. "Yes... I could have sworn you said something different. I guess I'm just getting old." She laughed once. "All right, sorry for stopping you. Keep going from '_come hither_'."

He began again, pacing the stage as he spoke- mainly because he felt the need to do something besides just stand there, but he couldn't remember his real blocking. He knew all his lines in this scene, he really did, but trying to remember them and his blocking, as well as remembering to add different movements and gestures in general was getting to be a bit overwhelming. "_Um... But I might see the shaft... firey-bow..." _

_"Quench'd in the chaste beams of the watery moon,_" Emillia whispered.

_"...i__n the moon-beams, and the... the..._" he broke off suddenly, "Bre, Miss Jen, could I cut some of this out? My character monologues way too much."

She shuffled through more papers, talking quietly to Clara and marking up her notes for the prop department. Milos had heard of multi-tasking, but Miss Jen took the practice to an art form. "Yeah, go ahead and do that if you think that'll make it easier. But be sure to clear it with me once you have it down, and collaborate with Emillia so that you both know the changes." Before he had time to say anything, she called off-stage. "Fairies, go down with Clara to the Green Room and practice your dance. I'm expecting you to come back here and impress us by the end of the hour."

"Um... well then... _I'll put a girdle round about the earth in forty minutes." _And with that, Emillia scurried off the stage, leaving Milos to fumble through the next monologue alone.

Meanwhile, Avery was sitting in the back of the audience near the sound booth, vaguely paying attention to what was going on onstage. She was going to get these ridiculously long lines memorized even if it killed her! She had some parts down perfectly, but there were other sections which she would completely draw a blank on, no matter how many times she read them over and practiced them in the dorms with Emillia and Belle.

Ah, Emillia. Avery never quite understood the girl. For the past few weeks, she'd been using their dorm room walls as a canvas to paint on. Avery wasn't entirely sure what it was supposed to be yet, but Emillia was sure working hard on it. She usually did it in the evenings when Avery was in the gym and Belle was hanging out in the rec room, but there were a few times when she was in the dorms while Emillia painted. Avery knew she should probably at least try to stop the girl from defacing school property but... the mural really was beautiful, and it just seemed like painting over it would be a crime against art itself. So Avery just watched.

"_The fold stands empty in the drowned field,_  
><em>And crows are fatted with the murrion flock;<em>  
><em>The nine men's morris is fill'd up with mud,<em>  
><em>And the quaint mazes in the wanton green<em>  
><em>For lack of tread are undistinguishable<em>..."

What was the next line? "Uhh..." No, no, she knew it...

...

All right, she didn't know it.

Avery glanced down at her script. "_The human mortals want their winter here_! I should have known that!" She was going to get this eventually... it might just take a little while longer than she had been hoping.

She was startled out of her frustrated thoughts by the shifting of seats and a creaking noise. Emillia.

"_No night is now with hymn or carol blest:_  
><em>Therefore the moon, the governess of floods,<em>  
><em>Pale in her anger, washes all the air,<em>  
><em>That rheumatic diseases do abound<em>... and..."

"_And thorough this distemperature we see_," Emillia prompted.

Avery raised an eyebrow curiously. "Please don't take this the wrong way, because it's meant to be a compliment, but how is it that you know everyone else's lines, but not your own?"

Emillia sighed in slight exasperation and shook her head. "I really don't know. I guess maybe I just learn things faster by hearing them than reading."

"Mmm." That made sense.

"Avery?"

"Hmm?"

"I... I have a problem."

"Mmm-hmm?"

Emillia looked around to make sure she wouldn't be heard. Milos, Belle, and Dawson were on stage, and most of the rest of the cast was off working on sets. The nearest person around was Sydney, and she was all the way on the other side of the room. Still, Emillia made it a point to whisper, "You know Jeff, right?"

Avery nodded. "I know _of_ him."

"Well... I don't know, Avery. I've been talking to him a little bit lately... or, well, he's been talking to me I guess. And..." While she spoke, she watched as the object of their conversation came in through the back exit with Lewis and Emilio, lugging cans of paint towards the set department. "I think he might be... be..." She took a deep breath and confessed dramatically, " A _pervert_!"

There was silence except for the sound of pages turning.

"Avery?"

"Yes?"

"What do you think?" She asked worriedly, leaning over in her seat.

Avery's gaze flickered from the script up to Emillia. "I am thinking that I'm wondering what exactly the problem is."

Emillia stared at her, mouth agape, for a long moment. Avery closed the book and set it aside. "Do you need your hearing checked, mia amica? I just told you that Jeff might possibly be a pervert!" Avery still didn't look convinced of this alleged perversion. Emillia motioned for her to wait one moment. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and clicked a few buttons, then scrolled down a few pages. "Here it is! Jeff asked for my cell phone number so he could text me, and _this_ is what he sent this morning!" She thrust the little silver device at Avery who took it calmly.

When Avery read the message, she had to pause and make sure she hadn't accidentally clicked any buttons and navigated off the page Emillia wanted her to see. "All he said was 'Good morning!'. And a smiley face. This is not exactly earth-shattering."

"And last night, when we were finishing our texting conversation, he said- and I quote- 'rehersals for the play are wicked bro, especially because ur there'. Clearly, he is pedo-bear's evil twin, end of story!"

Avery blinked a few times, thoroughly confused by this point. Dear God, this was definitely way out of her realm of expertise. "Emillia, I know I am not exactly an expert on these things, but I really don't think that this is a sign that he's a pervert."

"Then _what_?"

Good question. It could have been a sign of a lot of things, she supposed, but there was one idea that really seemed to stick out more than any others. "Well, there is a possibility- and again, I am no expert- but I would say that from what little I know, Jeff may simply like you." Wasn't Italy supposed to be a country of romance? Shouldn't Emillia be the one who had this stuff all figured out?

Emillia instantly turned red and developed an intense interest in a scuff mark on the floor. She started shaking her head frantically and fidgeted with the hem of her skirt. "Oh nonononononono! That wouldn't- I mean, he would never- and I don't..."

Avery held up her hands in surrender. Maybe she was just reading too much into it. "All right then! I am probably wrong. You know that figuring out relationships is not my strong suit. I could have just misinterpreted things."

"S-sì, a misinterpretation! That's all. Because me and Jeff... Jeff and I... it wouldn't... Because he wouldn't... and even if he did, which he wouldn't, then I wouldn't... couldn't... shouldn't?" With an aire of resolution, she added, "So he doesn't, and it isn't." Emillia frowned. "Does that make sense?"

"No."

Instantly, her whole demeanor shifted from this current episode of uncharacteristic nervousness and dismay to her usual cheerfulness. The sheer speed at which this complete transformation occurred surprised Avery every time. "That's okay. It doesn't matter much. Next time, I will just deal with him like I deal with all perverts! Thanks for your advice Avery, it was really helpful!" She gave her friend a quick hug before skipping away quickly back towards the staircase and up onto the stage.

"_Hast thou the flower there? Welcome, wanderer_."

"_Ay, there it is."_

"You're... welcome?"

Avery had no idea what advice she'd given, but that had to be just about the fastest problem-solving she'd done all week. Her life was officially turning into a sitcom. And a really bad one too.

**OoO**

**There is a poll on my profile that has to do with this story! Go check it out and vote! Fo reals, ya'll!**

**By the way, who else had an awesome Halloween? I cosplayed England and stayed home to hand out candy- but I'm sure I had way more fun than the trick-or-treaters. There were literally kids going through my bushes looking for Mr. Unicorn! It was pretty funneh~ XD**


	21. Long Live the Party Crashers

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 19**

It was a not-so-peaceful midnight in the Omega dorms, room 133. Curfew had been about an hour ago, but no one really paid much attention to the rule, and it was rarely inforced as long as people weren't too obvious about it.

Milos was practicing scales on the trumpet as he had been since 10 PM- very, very loudly, by the way- because it was required for band, but he'd had too much other homework to start earlier. Meanwhile, Kyoya sat on his bed with stacks of chemistry papers which all looked to him like they had been written in Greek. He was failing that class horribly at the moment, and they had another test next week which he was not looking forward to. Nikolai sat next to him, text-book open in his lap, with death-metal screamo music blaring through his head phones almost as loudly as Milos's trumpet practice.

"WHAT'S AN ISOELECTRONIC SERIES?" He yelled, unable to hear over the music.

"I believe it is a group of-"

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

Kyoya cleared his throat and said, a little louder this time, "I said, it is a group of ions that-"

"WHAAAT?"

Milos had to play even louder over all the yelling.

Kyoya reached over and pulled Nikolai's headphones off, then dropped them off to the side. He could still hear the music perfectly. "Does that help?" he asked patiently.

Nikolai looked at the headphones in slight curiosity for a moment, then back at Kyoya. "Oh. Yeah." He'd had those on so long, he'd completely forgotten about them. "You practice really loud, Milos. Huh. I never knew that." He shrugged. "So right, isoelectronic series?"

Kyoya nodded and answered, "A group of ions that have the same charge."

"Close, but no. A group of ions with the same number of electrons. Like, even though Magnesium 2+ and Aluminum 3+ are in different periods- and they have different charges- when you find where they end up on the table, you see that they both have the electron configuration of Neon. Same number of electrons as Neon, and as each other. So they're part of the same isoelectronic series."

Kyoya was never going to get this. He barely knew what the difference between an atom and an ion was, let alone anything more in-depth! Between this class, and the sudden influx of projects from his business administration class, plus the play, plus having to do some important paperwork his boss had sent him earlier that week (which he hadn't even had time to start on yet), he was quickly becoming completely and totally stressed-out.

"How does shielding work?"

Kyoya actually knew this one since their teacher had made a point of emphasizing its importance. "Electron shielding is when electrons on the innermost levels of an atom "shield" the electrons that are likely to be found farther away from the nucleus. All electrons are attracted to the nucleus of an atom, where the protons are found, but repel each other. Those that are closer to the nucleus repel the ones farther away and prevent them from getting near the nucleus, which is why atomic radius increases as you go down the period."

Nikolai glanced at the clock on his cell phone for the fifth time that evening. "Yeah. Perfect. You're really not that bad at this stuff. I don't know why you think you are."

"Possibly because I earned a 52 percent on the last test and it brought _up_ my average."

"That sucks."

"Hai, it does."

He checked the clock once more. "Hang on one second." He got up and went into the small bathroom, then knelt down and opened the first cabinet on the right. Paused. "That's weird..." He rifled through the top shelf, then the bottom one just to make sure he hadn't missed anything. Next, he went through the middle cabinet, then the left one, then all the drawers. "Hey, Milos," he said, carefully stepping over piles of junk as he walked back into the main room. Said Serb was too engrossed in practicing trumpet scales to hear him. "Milos... MILOS!"

That got his attention. "What?!"

"Please tell me I didn't throw out a ton of stuff from the cabinets this morning."

Milos shrugged, adjusting his music stand and making some marks in his song book. "Okay. You didn't throw out a ton of stuff from the cabinets this morning."

"That's a lie."

"You just said to say it, not that it was true."

"But that means..." He looked at Milos, then at the cabinets, and back again. "...Oh. _Oh!_ Crap!" He tore out of the room at lightening speed, accidentally knocking over one of Kyoya's notebooks and sending papers flying in the process. The door slammed shut behind him.

Milos was slightly confused, but just went back to practicing anyway. He hadn't gotten three notes in, when suddenly, there was loud banging on the wall. "_HEY! WILL YOU PEOPLE SHUT UP IN THERE? YEAH, I'M TALKING TO YOU, NEMANIC! SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!_"

What a lovely time to be hearing from their next-door neighbor. Milos gripped his trumpet and jumped up onto Kyoya's bed, which was pressed against the wall they shared with Dawson and Co. in room 135 (even-numbered rooms being just across the hall). More of Kyoya's papers scattered. He put the instrument right next to the wall and started playing as loudly and badly as possible.

Dawson began banging even louder, yelling a stream of profanities that no one under the age of 35 should have heard. Which was fine, since it was only barely audible over the screeching.

"_IF YOU DON'T SHUT THAT (bleep)ING PIECE OF (bleep) RIGHT NOW, I'M GOING TO (bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep )!_"

"BRE, REPEAT THAT IN ENGLISH, DAWSON! I DON'T SPEAK STUPID!"

Kyoya decided that this just might be the right time to make an inconspicuous exit. He wondered where Nikolai was. Maybe that would give him an excuse to leave the battlefield before the slaughter began. He carefully got up, leaving his chemistry work still spilled out all over the floor and under the bed. He opened the door, only to have something- or someone- fall backwards into him at knee-level.

"Dude, not again!"

"Jeff?" Kyoya raised an eyebrow as his neighbor stared up at him from the ground. "It is probably none of my business, but if you do not mind my asking, what exactly are you doing?"

Jeff was camped out in the hallway with his pillow and blanket, leaning against 133's door and right in line of fire to get stepped on, looking as though he was about to sleep out there. He even had an old, worn-out teddy bear in his arms, which he immediately shoved under the pillow the moment he realized he'd been discovered. He sat up as he replied, "Too loud in there, man! School tomorrow, lots of tests and stuff. I'm hanging out here, away from the war zone. Or, ya know, I would be if you guys would stop opening the door so much."

That actually wasn't a bad idea. Jeff might have been onto something here.

"I sincerely apologize. But do you know-"

He didn't get any further than that, as there was the sound of excited giggling and two pairs of footsteps.

"Em, can I go back to bed now?" Belle asked sleepily as she was practically dragged down the hallway. She had been asleep less than four minutes before, and wished that she still was.

"Not until we tell them the good news!" Emillia half-sang, half-said.

Belle mumbled something incomprehensible. Emillia had no idea what she'd just said, but she could make a pretty good guess. "I know I could have woken up Avery instead, but unlike her, you're not going to yell at me!"

She spotted Kyoya standing there with the door wide open. Without warning, she leapt over someone- she didn't bother to see who- laying on the floor and crashed into Kyoya. He went careening backwards and landed sprawled on his back with an energetic Sicily on top of him.

"Guess what?!" She demanded excitedly, practically jumping up and down with glee as she stood. "I heard this really loud noise all the way from the Alpha dorms so I came to see what was going on- Belle came too- and on the way we ran into Sydney, and she told us something which she heard from this guy in her math class, who heard from Castel, who heard from Clara, who heard from- eek!" She let out a little yelp as Jeff came up and hugged her from behind.

"Oh, hi Em!" he said, "This place be trippin', yo! So how's-"

Emillia really had no room to complain since she surprised people with hugs all the time, but it caught her off-guard, and she immediately spun around.

"Stop being such a pervert!" Cue crowbar.

"OUCH! But all I said was hel-AUGH!"

Meanwhile, Dawson and Milos had been yelling at each other this whole time through the wall, and Milos had just about resolved to give it up for the night. He didn't care about Dawson, but he really didn't want to wake up the whole Omega dorm. Well, maybe just one more note wouldn't hurt... He took a deep breath and ground out a middle-C on his trumpet capable of bursting someone's eardrums. With a grin, he nodded contentedly and decided that that was good enough.

He jumped off Kyoya's bed and maneuvered around Jeff being murdered by Emillia, and Belle who was curled up with Milos's history textbook just to keep herself awake somehow, to put his instrument away.

A door slammed shut, and Dawson stomped into 133, absolutely seething with barely-contained rage. "Give me the trumpet," he said, not sounding nearly as enraged as he looked.

"What for?" Milos asked, genuinely wanting to hear the answer.

"So I can shove it up your ass."

Somehow, that did not sound like a 'just kidding' tone. Not at all actually. It was more a 'you'd better believe I'm dead serious' tone. Either way, Milos didn't bother to ask for clarification. "Bre, have you ever considered anger-management classes? They would do you a world of good."

"Have you ever considered, uh, non-retard classes? Because 'bre' is not a word!"

"I know that! It is just something I say!"

Dawson ignored him. "Maybe it's a word in Siberia, but-"

He interrupted, "Siberia? How many times have we had this discussion? Five times? Seven? I've lost count! I am not, nor have I ever been, from Siberia."

Dawson guessed, "Um, Mongolia then?"

Cue facepalm. "Yes, and Emillia is from Zimbabwe."

He rolled his eyes. "No, she's Italian, everyone knows that. Idiot."

"Emillia, dude, I'm not a pervert! I've only stalked you like once!" Jeff backed up into Dawson as he tried to get away from a crow-bar wielding Emillia. Dawson shoved him away.

As Emillia proceeded to pummel the younger football player, Milos interjected, "I think you would have to stalk someone at least ten times before you could truly be called a 'stalker'. The term is really very relative."

Everyone, including Emillia, just stopped and stared at him.

"I am only speaking hypothetically here!"

Kyoya cleared his throat softly as the noise returned to its previous decibel-level. "Um, excuse me. I do not mean to be rude, but would you all mind keeping the volume down? I have a test to study for and..." No one paid a bit of attention.

"Freak," Dawson muttered.

"Loser," Milos retorted.

"Stalker!"

"Liar!"

"When you get run over by a car, it shouldn't be listed under accidents."

"I heard that when you were a child, your mother tried to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much."

"That's not true!" Emillia chirped. "The Mafia doesn't charge much at all!"

Kyoya nervously clutched his text-book and bit the eraser of a pencil. "Never mind. Please forget I said anything."

There was a knock on the door. Kyoya vaguely thought that that really wasn't necessary. After all, the door was wide open and no one else seemed to care about knocking. Still, he appreciated the politeness. "Come in."

It was Castel from room 132 across the hall. He looked like he'd just been woken up and forced out of bed, and he sniffled a few times as he came in. He almost tripped over Belle, but luckily, he noticed her at the last second. "H-hi. Um, my roommates sent me over. They wanted to know why we weren't invited to the wild party." He looked around the room at the discord and chaos. "Wow, this really is a wild party, isn't it?"

"It is not a party, it is a mad house. Please, please leave while you still can." Kyoya informed him in complete seriousness.

"Castel, Castel!" Emillia exclaimed, "Did you hear the good news?"

"Wh-what good news?"

"The good news that I keep trying to tell everyone!"

"No, I guess I haven't." He sniffled again. "What is it?"

She looked thrilled that someone was finally asking. Jeff looked thrilled that she was finally preoccupied with something that didn't include murdering him for alleged 'pervert-like activities'. "Yay~! So I have just heard from Sydney, who heard from-"

"Is it bad that I'm not even surprised anymore?" Nikolai, who had just gotten back, asked from the doorway, talking more to himself than anyone else. "I leave for five minutes, and suddenly half the freakin' school is in here?" He threw up his hands in surrender. "Yeah, sure, why not?"

Castel tilted his head to one side, coughing quietly. "You weren't invited to the wild party either?"

Emillia cut in, "This is a party? Aw, I should have brought some yummy cannolis!"

"Hannibal the Cannibal, throw a party?" Dawson asked incredulously, glancing at Milos, "Yeah right! He'd probably skewer Samurai Jack here and use his innards as decorations."

"Bre, I am not a cannibal, and Kyoya's organs would make terrible party decorations! Give it up already!"

"So... what exactly am I supposed to tell my roommates then?"

"Come on Em, let's just go."

"Doesn't _anyone_ want to hear the good ne- JEFF! Get back here!"

"Okay, fine, I stalked you twice, but that's it!"

Nikolai and Kyoya exchanged glances.

"This. Is. Stupid." This could conceivably go on forever, couldn't it? Nikolai figured he could either do something about the state of chaos the room had just fallen into... or he could go to bed and ignore it. What a tough choice. At least, until he had an idea. It was the proven simplest, most effective way of ending a party, guaranteed.

"What is your problem, Dawson?" Milos yelled. "I've never done anything to you!"

"Oh really? What about the time when you-" _Tchhhh._ Dawson stopped in mid-rant, his attention snapping to the blonde standing two feet away with a spray bottle aimed at his face. Stunned, he wiped away a bead of water running down his temple. "Did... you just spray me with that thing?"

"Nyet."

_Tchhh_. "Stop that."

"Leave." _Tchhh. Tchhhh._

Castel carefully came over and asked, "I'm sorry, but I really need to tell my roommates someth-" _Tchhhh._ He looked down at his now slightly damp night-shirt. "What was that for?"

"What part of 'leave' don't you people understand?" He sprayed Castel again, then Dawson twice more. It wasn't his fault if they couldn't take a hint.

Dawson looked at Milos as if to say 'what's _his_ deal?'. Milos shrugged. Dawson scoffed and started for the door. "Freaking wack-job. Whatever, this party is lame. Come on Jeff." He dragged his halfway-murdered friend up, rolling his eyes in exasperation. "She barely touched you, stop being so dramatic."

Jeff immediately grinned and came back to life as they headed back into their own room. "You're no fun, bro! I was just practicing my death-scene for the play."

Belle was already out the door and halfway down the hall the minute she realized she finally had an excuse to get back to sleep. Castel just gave a little "um, okaayyy..." and backed out hesitantly, never taking his eyes off Nikolai's spray bottle as though it was a real weapon.

Emillia pouted, seeing that she was the only intruder left. "But doesn't anyone want to hear my news?"

"No." He sprayed her once right between the eyes. "Go away."

"Fine! Don't listen to me then! Meanie-face... Belle, wait up!" And with that, she was gone.

Kyoya closed the door behind her, then leaned his back against it with a relieved sigh. There was a long moment of silence. In such a short time, the idea of no noise had become such a foreign concept that they actually had to hear it in order to remember that it even existed. "I have never been so glad for quiet in my entire life," Kyoya admitted, breaking the silence. He locked the door just in case, which, in retrospect, probably should have been done from the very beginning.

"Well that was fun." Nikolai fidgeted absently with the spray bottle. "But, ya know, next time you guys decide to have some impromptu wild party, a little heads-up would be kinda nice. Just saying."

"Kill-joy," Milos said under his breath. _Tchhhh_. "Bre, someone is going to have to take that from you, I can just tell."

"Woe to the unfortunate soul who tries, da?"

**OoO**

**Please, someone spray your guests with water when you're trying to get them to leave your party, and tell me how it works out! Heh, and I bet you're all wondering what Emillia was trying to tell everyone. Pity she kept getting interrupted. ;3**

**Also, if you haven't already voted in the poll, please do so now! Once the next chapter is posted, that poll will be taken down and the winners announced. There will probably be a new poll then too, just for the lolz~ :)**


	22. Tokyo Pop 4, The Hacking

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 20**

**Tokyo Pop- The blog of Honda Kyoya**

Ciao! It's me, Sicily! So I know that this is Kyoya's blog and everything, but he just left the library for a second and forgot to log out, so that totally makes it fair game, right? I figure I can get a few words in before he comes back! XD

Ooh, I feel so evil! Heehee~

*strikes uber dramatic Dr. Evil pose* Yesss! I am Mike Meyers, it is me.

Okayokayokay, now that I am completely and totally free from interruptions, I really have to tell someone the good news (even if it's just one lonely page on the internet).

O.O Oh, I guess this internet page isn't so lonely. Wow, Kyoya, I don't know if you know this, but you have a lot of fans! If I had as many oranges as you have followers, I would be a _very_ happy province.

But now I'm just getting off-track! Back to the real reason I'm here.

Ready? Okay, here it goes *takes deep breath*:

IT'S OPEN HOUSE NEXT MONTH AND THAT MEANS THAT EVERYONE'S FAMILIES GET TO COME HERE ISN'T THAT GREAT?

It is, isn't it? :)

And you wanna know the best part?

The day that they're coming? It's the same day as the play performance! I can't wait for miei fratelli to see all the hard work we put into that show!

Speaking of which, we've started piecing together the set, and it looks really pretty so far! I mean, at first we had a problem making Titania's bower because, well, no one could figure out what exactly a bower was. But we eventually made it anyway, and I like it~

Okay. I'm done. I think Tokyo's coming back right now. I'd better go before he sees me~

Arrivederci!

Emillia Vargas (Sicily)

_There are **many** comments on this post:_

**Tokyo** says: ...Is this the practice commonly referred to as 'trolling'? Because I feel as though I have just been trolled.

**Sicily** says: ^^' Um, it wasn't meant to be, but I guess you could think of it that way if you'd like!

**Tokyo** says: Ah. Just making sure.

**Alaska** says: So... this was the alleged good news? You lied. That's terrible news.

**Sicily** says: Nononono! You go away! You don't deserve to hear my good news.

**Georgia** says: I suppose that means Alfred's coming :D. And Kiku. And Ludwig. And Feliciano and Lovino. And... hmm... O.o

**Sicily** says: I know. I had been wondering the same thing.

**Alaska** says: Guess we'll find out. This should be interesting. But seriously, people we actually know watching us slaughter this play? -_-

**Sicily** says: I thought you were gone!

***Alaska** has just been blocked*

**Tokyo** says: I am going to have to change my password now, aren't I?

**Sicily** says: :3 Noooo! I won't tell anyone! Besides, pockyluvr211 is such an obscure password that no one would ever think of it!

**Tokyo** says: Yes, it was, wasn't it?

**Sicily** says: What do you mean wa... oops. ^^'

**Georgia** says: Kyoya, how are your history notes going? Mine are taking forever!

**Tokyo** says: Hai, mine are too. :(

**Sicily** says: Same with me. *sigh* I wonder if the play will be okay. I mean, that's a lot of pressure! Italy was at the center of the Renaissance. Some little school play seems... beneath them. I just really want them to like it.

**Tokyo** says: I agree. I don't want to bring everlasting shame upon my family! If the performance is not perfect, I may be forced to commit seppuku.

**Georgia** says: O.O

**Sicily** says: OoO!

**Tokyo** says: *coughs*... That was a joke...

**Berlin** says: What was a joke?

**Sicily** says: See above.

**Berlin** says: Ah. I see.

**Georgia** says: Bad joke.

**Berlin** says: No, I thought it was a good joke... if you have a macabre sense of humor.

**Sicily** says: Which you do?

**Berlin** says: When the wind is north-northwest.

**Sicily **says: But when the wind is southerly?

**Berlin** says: I know a hawk from a handsaw.

**Tokyo** says: I understand exactly what you mean.

**OoO**

***Seppuku- Japanese ritual suicide**

**Yes, I _did_ just crowbar a line from Hamlet into the blog comments. I was watching the movie _Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead_, a spin-off of Hamlet, and just saying, if they hadn't done _A Midsummer Night's Dream_, they would have done _R and G are Dead_ instead. It's SO AWESOME. **

**Oh, and the official poll winners! ****In the category of favorite pairings, the winners are (tied for first place):**

**Castel x Clara, Jeff x Emillia, and Milos x Kyoya**

**And an honorable mention (it won second place), is Avery x Emillia! Aww, those are all such adorable pairings! ^^**

**For the moment, I'm thinking of having a new poll every chapter or so. Any objections?**

**Current poll question: ****_If any character could have their own reality TV show, whose show would you want to watch?_ You can pick pretty much anyone.**


	23. Back to the Drawing Board

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 21**

"What are we going to do today, Sydney?"

"The same thing we do every day, Castel. TRY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD! MUAHAHAHAHA!"

Cough. Sniffle sniffle. "Okay. I'm gonna go start on that filing then."

"You do that."

Castel grabbed a huge stack of documents almost as tall as he was, sat on the floor behind the reception desk, and began the arduous task of half-hearted paperwork filing. Sydney started playing games on the computer, but in her humble opinion, from the point of view of someone not behind the desk, she looked like she was doing something of great importance. And that's all that really mattered anyway, right?

The elderly (i.e. ancient) secretary fumbled with the copy machine a few feet away. Sydney had offered to help the lady plenty of times, but clearly the older woman was determined to figure that dang-blasted copy machine out all on her own, thank you kindly.

Sydney didn't even bother to look up as the office door opened. "Welcome welcome to our lowly little office space. What's up?- and don't say the ceiling."

Milos tapped his fingers on the counter. "Well, I have a question."

"And I have an answer- maybe."

"You know about the open-house, right?"

"Yeppers!" she grinned. "Problem solved, question answered. I'm good." Castel rolled his eyes. "I saw that! Eyes in the back of my head."

Milos slung his backpack on the floor. He was getting the distinct impression that he was going to be here a while. "Not quite. That was just a pre-question. A pre-question to a pre-question really."

"Like a question within a question?"

"Exactly!"

"Inception!"

"Not likely." Sydney took a moment to sulk at that. Milos continued, "Next pre-question. Because there are so many people coming, don't visitors have to be okayed by the school ahead of time?"

She nodded, clicking the arrow keys and skillfully avoiding obstacles on the 'cubefield' game. "Yep. To prevent random people from showing up, everyone's gotta register." She paused dramatically. "And the rabbit hole deepens."

"So you already know who will be there?" he pressed.

"Also yes- unless they haven't registered yet of course."

Milos gave a sigh of relief. Finally, it seemed as though he might get somewhere! "Great! Now to the real question. Could you tell me who's registered from my family to come to the open-house?"

Sydney was startled into hitting a stupid black cube. "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Head straight to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect 200 dollars. I can't answer that, you've gotta go see the secretary over there. She's the only one getting paid around here." Dammit! She was never going to make it to the pink cube level at this rate! Sigh.

Milos leaned over the counter, and gestured pointedly at her 'work'. "It shows." But okay, this was no big deal. He could simply find this out from the secretary. He walked to the other end of the counter. "Ma'am? If you have a moment, could you please give me some information?"

She didn't seem to have heard him. He cleared his throat awkwardly and was just about to repeat his request, when she glanced up at him and shuffled over. "What was that, dearie?"

He said louder, "I was hoping you could tell me who from my family is registered to come to the open house?"

Her eyes widened is slight surprise. "You mean you don't already know?"

"Well... my relationships with my various family members are kind of... complicated. Bre, very complicated."

She clapped her hands once. "I understand exactly what you mean! I remember once, in 1894, my cousin Charlie brought a mule right into the outhouse then locked it in with Uncle Lester. Oh boy, was that a sight to see!"

That wasn't exactly what he meant... Wait, 18- what now?

She smiled sweetly and added, "I'll just have to go find the papers. It will only take a moment. Name?"

"Milos Nemanic. But I don't want to trouble you..."

"Nonsense, dearie! It's no trouble at all. Those papers should be around here somewhere..."

Castel spoke up from his filing. "I have them. Give me a second, Milos, I'm pretty sure I saw yours a few minutes ago."

"Thanks."

The secretary nodded approvingly as Castel fished though the previously filed 'N' documents. "Do you know, that back when I was your age, we had to walk seventeen miles to school in the snow and hail every single day? Even during the summer. Can you imagine that? In fact, I remember one time in 1933, when-"

"Found it!" Castel cut in. He smiled sheepishly. "Oops. I'm sorry for interrupting you." He handed her the paper nervously.

"It's quite all right," she reached down and ruffled his hair. "Now let me see. Where are my-"

"Right here!" Sydney handed the woman her glasses. _Otherwise we'll be here all day._

"Thank you, Samantha. Now then." She put her glasses on and studied the document for a few seconds, murmuring to herself occasionally. Finally, she looked back up at Milos and announced. "Wonderful news! You're in for a treat, dearie!"

"Oh?" Now he was starting to get nervous.

"Your uncle is coming!"

He had an uncle? "I have an uncle?"

"Well of course you do! His name is..." She squinted at the paper, "uh, Sadiq? He's coming all the way from Turkey."

"WHAT?" Milos practically yelled, then caught himself and said, in a marginally calmer tone, "He- he is not my uncle! Do you understand, ma'am? He is not my uncle, he is not my brother or my father or anything at all to me! In fact, he's a pedophile! Just ask someone named Lovino Vargas. He's probably already registered. Bre, just call him up, and you'll see that Sadiq Adnan is nothing but a... a..."

The secretary just smiled. "Oh, aren't you so cute, Myron! That's a very nice story." She reached behind the desk and brought out something, the held it out to him. "Here, have a lollipop."

"Bre, didn't you hear me? He is a pedophile! And I will not be placated with lollipo- is that butterscotch? No, bre, I cannot accept your lollipop, for it is a lollipop which comes from the heart of an oppressive regime!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sydney said incredulously, "I haven't even done anything yet! Jeff and Kyoya keep vetoing my proposition to invade and conquer the Southwest corner of the football field, rename it Sydney-opolis, and turn it into a haven for refugee Venezuelan midgets."

He facepalmed. "No, not you. And we will come back to the midget part later. I am saying that that lollipop represents tyranny from the fact that random pedophiles can falsely claim to be people's uncles, and just be _let in here_, while we aren't even allowed to leave campus! And there is nothing anyone can do about it!"

Sydney smiled brightly at that. "Actually, there _is_ something you can do about it!" She ducked down behind the desk and rummaged through boxes of useless junk. Something crashed, and Sydney started to curse before quickly cutting herself off with a cough, hoping that the secretary hadn't heard her. She pulled out a huge, ancient tape recorder and placed it on the desk. "And this is why we have the student complaint-line recording!"

"But what does-?"

"Shh! Just listen." She clicked a button. There was static. With a slightly irritated sigh, she picked it up and violently slammed it on the desk several times until the tape started to roll.

"_Hello! You have reached Ashton's Boarding School's student complaint line! If you would like to hear these instructions in English, please wait for the tone. If you would like to hear instructions in Spanish, go to a country that speaks Spanish... _Beep_... Thank you for your patience. If you would like to lie about why you are going to be absent, press 1. If you would like to whine about a teacher you don't like, press 2. If you would like to assault or curse at a staff member, press 3. If you would like to tell us how to do our jobs, press 4. If-_" Sydney pressed 4.

"_If you would like to tell the staff how to do their jobs, we would be happy to listen! Please take out the appropriate 8' by 11' sheet of Ashton stationary as specified in the school handbook, page 147. Use an approved black ink, non-fountain, pen with the specified width and depth of point. Now please write a complaint letter of at least 800 words in the format specified on the Ashton handbook, page 1,390. Do not deviate from the format, or your complaint letter will not be read. Once you have completed this, mail the letter to Guam, PO Box 1143, and allow several years for processing. Thank you and have a nice day!_"

_BEEEEP!_

Castel sighed, "You know I really don't like that thing, Syd. It's just silly."

"You're kidding!" Sydney replied. "I love it. When I take over the world, this thing is staying, baby!"

"You know back in my day-" the secretary began.

Milos interjected with just a hint of sarcasm, "You did not have complaint lines?"

She laughed. "Whatever do you mean, dearie? This tape recording is _far_ older than I am!" Well that certainly explained a lot.

"I think you should probably just give up on this one," Castel advised, quietly continuing his filing job.

"I think I should go back to the drawing board," Milos said. "I will see you two later, then." He took the piece of candy and started for the door. "Thank you for your help, ma'am. Oh, and thank you for the lollipop!"

What? It was butterscotch.

OoO

"_Un gatto bianco con gli occhi blu_  
><em>un vecchio vaso sulla tv.<em>  
><em>Nell'aria il fumo delle candele<em>  
><em>due cuance rosse rosse come mele.<em>  
><em>Ha un filtro contro la gelosia<em>  
><em>e una ricetta per l'allegria.<em>  
><em>Legge it destino ma nelle stelle<em>  
><em>e poi ti dice solo cose belle<em>."

Emillia sang along with the CD player, putting a few splashes of paint on the wall. She laughed at nothing in particular and dipped her brush into the pallet, wiping her forehead with her sleeve. She was pretty sure she had just streaked paint all over her face, but it didn't matter much.

_Knock knock knock!_

Now who could that be? She had effectively driven Belle and Avery out of the room with the excessive paint fumes (she kept forgetting to open a window, but she'd make sure to air the room out before bed at the latest). Besides, if it was either of them, they had the keys. Other than that, she had no idea who else it could be.

"_E__ntrare!_ Oops, I mean 'come in'! The door's open," she called.

The door opened, and she turned around, paint pallet in one hand, brush in the other.

The instant she saw who it was, her smile disappeared, replaced with barely contained rage.

Jeff backed away in surrender. "No! Wait! I-I... I brought oranges!" He held out the peace-offering, a small mesh bag filled with about ten oranges, to Emillia.

She looked at Jeff, then at the bag, and back again. "You brought those for me?"

He nodded frantically. "Yeah dude. I'm friends with the cafeteria workers. And I... I cook. I mean, I'm good at cooking, so I volunteered to help cook dinner every night this week in exchange for them. Th-the oranges."

She cautiously reached for the bag and took it, keeping her eyes locked on Jeff the whole time. As soon as it was in her grasp, she darted away, holding the bag tightly. Once all the way across the room, she opened it, carefully inspecting each orange. They all seemed perfectly normal. "_Grazie_. That means 'thank you'."

Jeff breathed a sigh of relief. "You're totally welcome." He turned his attention to her art splayed across the wall, and his eyes widened. "Wow..." He spent a long time just studying it, and Emillia would never admit it, but she did feel just a little bit proud of herself that he seemed so entranced by her painting. "That is just about the wickedest thing I've ever laid eyes on, Em. Not even exaggerating."

She smiled. "Thanks. I've been working on it for a few weeks, but I've been so busy lately, I've had to neglect the poor thing."

He nodded, hesitating. "Um, I really don't wanna sound all ignorant or anything but... what is it exactly?"

_Ooh, ohh, that color would be absolutely perfect right there!_ She practically leapt over to the little empty spot near the corner, paints at the ready. "Well, I am not really sure yet," she answered distractedly. Gosh, that space was a lot high than she'd thought it was. "I figure I'll know what it is once it's finished!" She reached up as high as she could, standing on her toes, but still couldn't reach that stupid spot. "Ah, just a little higher."

"Want help?" he offered.

"No, no, I've got it."

She strained to reach just a little bit higher, but even then, she was still a good six inches too short.

"Are you sure, cuz I can totally help."

"I've got it!" she insisted. Maybe she could stand on something? She spotted a desk chair in the corner and set her pallet down so she could roll it over the huge paint covered sheet which protected the carpet. Then she picked up the pallet again and put one foot on the chair, then stepped up onto it, balancing precariously and unable to hold onto anything with both her hands full. There. Perfect! She shifted slightly to get a little closer.

The chair shifted too- a bit too much. "Eeek!" She threw her arms out to keep her balance, and failed miserably. She squeezed her eyes shut. _I'm gonna fall, I'm gonna fall, I'm gonna- Oh!_ That wasn't the ground she had landed on, was it? She pried one eye open. Jeff's face was just a few inches from hers. He had one arm under her knees, the other behind her back. She'd spilled paint in the fall, and a huge glob of forest green paint was dripping down his forehead. "Oops." She wiped it away before it could get in his eyes. "Sorry..."

"You sure you don't want my help?"

"Well... si... I might like that."

He set her down on the foot of Emillia's bed, then put her paint supplies on the table. "Okay dude, um, just like take my hand like this, and get on my shoulders." It didn't take long to accomplish this, and he passed her back the supplies, still keeping a tight hold on her. He walked back to the spot she'd been reaching for earlier. "You good?"

"Si! Okay, now move just a little to your left. No, the other left! Stop, stop!"

"Which left? There are only two, Em!" He laughed.

"Stand still," she said, giggling in spite of herself. She was finally at eye-level with the spot, and she dug into her paints with an almost obsessive fervor. "Perfect!" This whatever-it-was was turning out quite nicely if you asked her. But she might be up there for a while. Why not get something done since she had the help? "I didn't know you liked to cook," she said, dotting some blue across a splash of pink.

"Oh, yeah!" he said excitedly, "I love it! Always have. See, Lewis's family and mine are like joint owners of this wicked awesome pizza place in Chicago, so I've been in the kitchen since I was a kid. Neither of us have any sibs, so Lewis and I will have to take over someday."

"Pizza? Do you make pasta too?"

"Sure! We make lots of Italian stuff- that and hamburgers."

"Move to your right a- no, no, a little more. There! _Grazie_! And actually, I enjoy cooking too."

"Heh, I know. Dawson told me," he admitted.

She frowned. "How would he know?"

"Belle mentioned it, I think."

"Oh," she said. The gossip circle, silly her. Then, after a pause, "Aren't you going to college?"

"No time dude, I have to learn how to run a restaurant. Why, are you?"

She shrugged. "I don't know, maybe." She wasn't. She had a province to run, and as far as jobs went, that one was pretty time-consuming. Besides, college degrees wouldn't do much for her anyway.

Jeff really wanted to see what she was painting, but he didn't want to move and mess her up, so he just continued to keep his gaze fixed straight ahead on a squiggly lime green figure-thing. "What do you want to be when you grow up, Em?"

Well, she already had a full-time job, and she was about 800 years or so older than him, but of course she wasn't going to tell him that. But what if, just for a moment, she wasn't Sicily? What if she was just Emillia? Just a fifteen year old painting her dorm room walls with a potential perv- no, with a nice seventeen year old boy- who would go back to her normal human family once the year was over, who would be able to someday marry and have a family of her own. "When I grow up, I want to be an artist. I'd paint nature and still lives, and everything and everyone that's important to me. People would like it, but even if they didn't, what others think doesn't really matter; because I've always believed that art doesn't come from your mind, it comes from your soul, and you can't change your soul.

"I might even own my own art studio and teach other people. And in my spare time, I'll work as a tour guide in the Museum of Regional and Modern Art in Syracuse. I already know every single piece of art in there so well, I could catalogue the whole place without even being there!" She continued painting absently, barely paying attention to the brush and just letting it go where it may.

For a split second, Jeff felt like he'd witnessed something personal, something he shouldn't have. But no, that was silly! What someone wanted to do with their life wasn't usually a secret. "You could totally do it- be an artist and all. No joke. I think you could," he said.

"Maybe."

"No maybe, definitely."

There. She was all done here, and she still had to deal with the paint fumes before her roommates came back. "Okay, this is good, thank you again. I still have some more things to do."

He set her back down on the bed. "I understand, totally. I'll just go then."

"No, stay!" she quickly said without meaning to. Emillia caught herself. "I- I mean, if you want to. Just for a little while. Stay."

A smile lit up his whole face. "Yeah, I can do that."

**OoO**

**ZOMG, over 100 reviews? Really? EEEEEE! *does 'over 100 reviews' dance* YAY! Thank you! You guys are so freaking awesome! :D**

**Now for the official results of last week's poll!~ If any character could have their own reality show, whose would you want to watch?**

**The winner is Nikolai, with Sydney in second! Lol, for some reason, I would kinda like to see Sydney and Castel with their own show. *hums to the tune of Pinky and the Brain* _They're Sydney and Castel, Sydney and Castel; one eats scones for dinner and the other's insane!_ No? Already been done?**

**I'm glad everyone seems to like the idea of a new poll every chapter! So without further ado...**

**Current poll question: _You are walking down the street one day, when all of a sudden, Captain Planet, Justin Bieber, and Hitler come from out of nowhere and start attacking you! You need help, and fast! Who're you gonna call? _Again, you can pick pretty much anyone. :)**

**IMPORTANT!: On a note unrelated to the story, I'm sure everyone has heard about the shooting that happened at an elementary school in Connecticut on Friday in which 6 adults, the shooter himself, and 20 children (6 and 7 year olds) were shot and killed. Of course, this is a complete tragedy. Seriously, what kind of sicko murders little kids? Along with praying for the families of the victims, if anyone has the inclination, try to wear blue and yellow (that school's official colors) on Monday as a tribute to those kids. And even if you can't, spread the word! Remember those lives which had barely begun before being brutally ended.**


	24. The Ballad of Psychic Maria

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 22**

It was a bright, peaceful morning in the Alpha dorms.

'Was' being the operative term.

Avery was just starting to wake up, nestled under the covers and still in that strange state of being half-asleep, when she heard hesitant, polite knocking at the door. She could count the number of possible people this could be on one hand.

She hesitated, just a tiny bit irritated at being woken up so early, but upon glancing at the clock, found it to be nearly 7AM. Normally, she would have been up long before this, so she guessed she ought to be at least a little thankful to whoever was keeping her from wasting the day. Like pretty much every teenager on the planet, she kind of liked sleeping in, but she was usually up by 6:00, and rarely let herself sleep past 7:00 or occasionally 7:30. There was always so much to do in a day, and the sooner one got up, the sooner they could get started, and the more which could be accomplished!

Since apparently neither of her roommates had heard the quiet knocking, she threw off her own covers and got up, straightening her night-clothes and brushing fingers through her hair on her way to the door so she wouldn't look quite so rumpled.

"Kyoya?"

Well that was surprisingly unexpected. He was standing there in the doorway sheepishly like a little kid who had just gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He still had on his night-clothes, and he wasn't even wearing any shoes. This was odd of course, as unlike plenty of other students in the dorms, Kyoya didn't make it a habit to be seen outside of his room looking so disheveled. However, the strangest thing about his appearance was that he was carrying an armful of random stuff- stuff which one wouldn't normally carry around. The whole thing struck her as being a little off from the get-go.

"H-hello Avery-san. I'm so sorry to bother you this early in the morning, but, well, my roommates and I were wondering if any of you had happened to see or hear anything... unusual last night?"

She raised an eyebrow incredulously. Okay, something was definitely going on here. "Like what?" Curiously, she peered down the hallway... and was shocked at the sight.

The hall, from all the way down at the Omega side, past the stairs and almost reaching her room, was littered with stuff. Books, pictures, DVDs, even some clothes. They were just strewn across the floor like the bread crumbs dropped by Hansel and Gretel in the Grimm brothers' tale. As far as she could tell, there was nothing too embarrassing out there, but still. What the heck?

"Bre, like someone causing all this!" Milos whispered loudly, trying not to wake anyone up. He and Nikolai were going down the hall, picking up the trash and praying that no one had seen it yet. They just needed to get this cleaned up as soon as possible, then get to the bottom of it.

"Mmm, Av'ry? Wha's goin' on?" Belle asked sleepily.

"I have no idea..." she said.

A few seconds later, she heard the sound of bed-springs squeaking, and Belle appeared by her side not long after, as did Emillia who must have been woken up by the commotion as well.

"Wow..." Emillia said quietly when she saw the disaster zone.

"No kiddin'." Belle agreed. "Kyoya, what happened?"

Kyoya sighed and admitted, "Truth be told, Belle-san, we haven't the slightest clue."

"It's the craziest thing," Nikolai said, bending to pick up Kyoya's copy of Ponyo and a carton of colored pencils. "Sometimes we'd find stuff out of place in the mornings. A chair across the room or a misplaced shoe or something. Little stuff, and not very often. But these past few days, it's gotten worse."

Milos added, "Yesterday, we found a pile of spare blankets right outside the room- and no, bre, it wasn't Jeff camping out this time."

Avery nodded, thinking. "And now this?" She clarified.

"And now this."

"And it wasn't just one of you playing a prank?" She said, sending Milos and Nikolai a level look.

"Bre, no way!"

"Of course not. And this would be a stupid prank anyway."

Emillia gasped, grabbing Avery's arm tightly in one of her patented death-grips. "Wh-what if it's..." she swallowed fearfully, "a ghost?"

"There are no such things as ghosts," she replied automatically, but to her surprise, no one jumped to back her up on that. She watched as the guys all exchanged glances. "What? You don't really think...?"

Kyoya shrugged helplessly. "We are not sure what to think. It's a very strange situation. You are sure none of you saw or heard anything?"

The girls all answered in the negative. It was unbelievable that someone or something had managed to make such a mess without anyone noticing, but apparently they had.

"Ay carramba! What happened out here?" Everyone turned to see Maria from across the hall and two rooms down, clad in a short pajama dress and bunny slippers, standing in the doorway to her room.

"Shhh!" Milos hissed, "Don't wake up the whole dorm, Maria!"

"Aren't you three supposed to be somewhere else? Last time I checked, boys weren't allowed over here. Not that you'll hear me complaining." She said with a meaningful little half-smile as she leaned against the door frame.

"We'll be out of here as soon as we deal with this..." Milos gestured out into the general hallway mess, "situation."

"That's your stuff?"

Nikolai nodded. "Yep."

"And how did it get out here?"

"Your guess is as good as ours."

"I'm telling you, it was a ghost!" Emillia insisted, stepping around Avery and over a solitary worn-out sneaker. "They said they didn't do it, and no one's seen or heard whoever did, so what else could it possibly be?"

"A ghost, amiga?" Maria's interest was piqued.

Avery sighed. Finally, someone with a little more common sense! Hopefully Maria could set Sicily straight on the whole ghost thing. "Maria, for the love of God, will you please tell her that there's no such things as ghosts?"

"What do mean 'no such things as ghosts?' Of course there are!" She exclaimed, seeming almost offended that Avery had even suggested anything to the contrary. So much for common sense entering the building. Silly Avery. " Listen chica, this may sound hard to believe, but the dead are very much with us in spirit, and they have many ways of communicating with the living. And this sounds like just my kind of case!"

"And what does that mean?" Nikolai asked sarcastically, "You're not thinking of holding a séance in our room or something, right?"

Without warning, she turned on her heel, bolted back into her room, and the door slammed shut behind her.

"...Was it something I said?"

A second later, the door re-opened to reveal a bored, tired Cassandra who looked like she had just been forcibly dragged out of bed. She yawned and took a minute to wake herself up.

"Do the thing, do the thing!" Maria whispered not-so-inconspicuously from her hiding place.

"Maria..."

"Please?"

She sighed and nodded. "Okay, fine." She cleared her throat and said in a quiet but obviously announcer-type voice, "Presenting... the one and only Psychic Maria, 6th best medium North of the Tropic of Cancer and South of the border."

Cassandra stepped aside and Maria jumped out, now donning a stereotypical gypsy scarf on her head and another scarf that looked more Indian around her shoulders. It really wouldn't have looked too bad, but the pink bunny slippers did ruin the effect a little. The six personifications gave an awkward, confused round of applause.

Maria's face lit up in a bright smile as she went over to Nikolai and shook him by the shoulders. "Sí, a séance is exactly what I'm thinking!" She turned to the rest of them. "Don't worry, mis amigos! I volunteer to mediate the dispute between the lands of the living and the deceased!"

"Bre, how... lucky?" Milos wasn't really sure if that was true or not.

"Lucky is right! What on earth would you poor souls have done if I hadn't been here to take up your case?"

"I hate to burst your bubble here," Avery interjected, "but assuming ghosts even exist, you don't know that that's what we're dealing with. You're just jumping to conclusions based on the opinion of Emillia, who wasn't even there."

Maria put both hands on her hips and sent Avery a look as if to say _Oh please_. "Emillia may have given me the lead, but the signs are obvious if you know how to look for them. For example, there is a strong spiritual energy radiating from their room-"

"Dude, are you sure that's not just the smell of Milos's dirty socks?"

Maria ignored Nikolai and Milos elbowed him in the side. "- and what other explanations could there be? It would be muy estúpido for one of them to do it on purpose, and if they keep the door locked at night, no one could be sneaking in. Do you have any better ideas?"

Avery reluctantly admitted. "No. I suppose not."

"Then leave this to the professionals." Suddenly, she got an idea. "Or better yet, you should come watch."

"Uh, I don't know about that..." Just because the guys may go along with this nonsense didn't mean Avery had to.

"Trust me, chica. Just for a few minutes. I guarantee that by the time this is over, you'll be a believer. We'll start tonight at midnight."

OoO

"_In 1641 the Commons passed the Triennial Act, which compelled the king to summon Parliament every three years. The Commons impeached Archbishop Laud and then threatened to abolish bishops. King Charles, fearful of the Scottish invasion- the original reason for summoning Parliament- reluctantly accepted these_-"

"What's up?"

Belle looked up from her studying. She was sitting outside her room, with literally nothing to do. It was one of those days where she kept thinking of things she could do to hold her attention, but was too bored to even attempt them.

However, although she was slightly bored out of her mind, she'd have to be much more bored than this before she'd start talking to Dawson. "Studying," she said curtly, and went back to pretending to read, hoping he wouldn't try to take this conversation any further.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked. A better question would be why _he_ was there, but they already knew the answer to that one.

Belle reached up and opened the door a little more than a foot. He raised an eyebrow curiously and moved closer to the entrance.

Suddenly, he backed up a step, almost gagging. "Wow, it reeks of paint! What's going on in there?"

"Emillia's painting again," she said, "I just can't take the fumes."

As if on cue, Avery came out of the dorm, taking a huge breath of fresh air. "She is going to suffocate in there. Or accidentally get high from the paint." Avery paused. "Hmm... if she was high, that would explain quite a bit." She shook her head, as if to shake the thought out, then turned her attention to Dawson. "Dawson, is there any reason in particular why you're here?" Translation: _we don't like you. If there's no one dead or dying which explains why you need to be in this vicinity, then leave._

"Avery," Belle cut in, "It's okay. I can handle it."

She glanced warily at Dawson before agreeing reluctantly. "If anyone needs me, I will be in the library." She glanced back at the interior of the dorm room before closing the door, stepping around Belle, purposely ignoring Dawson, and heading down the hall in the direction of the staircase.

Belle went back to her book, but she wasn't reading it. Her full attention was really on the young football player standing beside her.

He cleared his throat awkwardly, "Uh, mind of I sit here?"

"It's a free hallway, I suppose."

He took a seat a few feet away. She continued pretending to read, hoping that if he actually had something to say that he would just spit it out already so she could go back to refusing to acknowledge his existence as soon as possible.

"So... nice weather we're having?" Somehow, the painful meandering around the subject was already making her more nervous than if he'd just cut to the real problem.

"Yeah."

There was a long silence.

"Are you excited about parent day?" He asked.

"A little."

"Who's coming from your family?"

"Just my dad, I think."

"Oh. Your mom working or something?"

"I don't have a mother."

"That's too bad..." he said quietly. "Listen... I know you're still pissed off at me."

_Now we're gettin' somewhere_. "Really? Whatever gave you that impression?" She actually sounded sincere, but anyone who knew her would have been able to hear the sarcasm dripping from her words.

He blinked, confused. "Well... the fact that you won't give more than five word answers was a start..." he shook his head and continued. "Look, I know, okay? And I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry for how I acted and all."

"You've said all this before. We have a truce, what more do you want from me?" she snapped. Instantly, she felt the guilt set in for speaking so harshly. At the same time, she scolded herself for feeling that way. She had every right to be mad at him. She had every right to say those things and mean them. No one who knew the situation would fault her for it, so why did she feel like she was kicking a puppy by doing this? It was confusing. Much more confusing than her friends seemed to think it should be.

"I don't know! I... I guess... I want you to give me another chance. At least try. I still like you, Belle. I like you a lot." Belle looked away awkwardly, unable to meet his gaze. "Back then, I said that you've had my attention since day one, and I meant it. You still do."

"Dawson, you have to understand..." she started, chosing her words carefully, "you've hurt me, and you've hurt a lot of people I care about. I can't just forget that."

"If this is about that thing with your brother, I've barely said three words to the guy since then. It won't happen again."

"It's more than that."

"Then what? Nemanic? We have some serious issues, but you know he's as much a part of the problem as I am. I can only take fifty percent of the blame for that one."

She laughed once. "I know, and he'd probably be inclined to agree with you too. But he's my friend, and you can't ask me to pick sides."

Dawson leaned against the wall, tilting his head back to stare at the ceiling. After a moment, he looked back at her. "Okay, I won't. Promise." There was another long pause, but this one wasn't awkward, it was pregnant with anticipation of the _other_ topic.

Eventually, he managed to continue, "And I don't know how I can ever make it up to you about... you know, what happened. But babe, how can I possibly do it when you won't even let me try? What I did was totally wrong, and I've changed a lot since then." He held up a hand to stop her as she tried to interrupt. "It ain't easy to believe that, I know, but can you at least give me a chance to prove it to you?"

She thought for a long moment. This should have been an easy choice. Say no and send him on his way for good. That's what she should do, and that's what a large part of her wanted to do. This was so frustrating! Why did something so easy have to be so impossible?

"I don't know if I can..."

He frowned, nodded, and started to get up.

"... but I'll try." This was a massive leap of faith she was taking, and it scared her. A lot.

"So will I see you in the rec room tonight?" Dawson asked hesitantly, testing the waters.

"Yeah, I think you just might."

She just hoped her faith wasn't misplaced.

**OoO**

**So I am back yet again after 6 long months. Actually, you guys can thank lovefordoitsu for this since she completely unknowingly helped me get up the nerve to beat down the writer's block and get back into this. So thank you to her!**

**And the results of last week's poll are in! If you were attacked by Captain Planet, Justin Bieber, and Hitler, you would call... Nikolai. Then Milos in second place. Hmm, yeah, I'd probably call Milos first. Then maybe Avery. I don't think Nicky would be too inclined to help me because in other (not posted) stuff I've written with him in it, I kinda torture him. Like, a lot. *nervous laugh* **

**Also, the fact that Ghostbusters got a vote _did_ pretty much make my day, just sayin'.**

**Current poll question: ****_You have a spiffy pet goldfish named Figaro. Figaro is your best and only friend. You are going out of town soon and need someone to look after him for a week. Who do you trust?_**

**What do you mean these poll questions are ridiculous? They are perfectly logical and valid questions which I'm sure come up on a regular basis in your normal everyday lives. Of course.**


	25. Leave This to the Professionals

**AN: Warning. There are some blatant religious themes in this chapter. Being very religious myself, I would never intentionally bash anyone's religion. Nothing in this chapter is meant to offend, however, I apologize if anyone is bothered by it.**

**It's Kind of a Funny Story**

**Chapter 23**

"Okay everybody. Settle down, settle down. First, I'd like everyone to sit in a circle here."

Maria had a circular tablecloth set up on the floor in the middle of the dorm room, with some little string-tied bundles of herbs and spices arranged carefully in the center along with bowls of water and salt. She brought out four small candles and a box of matches which she used to light the candles before setting them on the tablecloth as well, as Nikolai flicked off the lights.

All the reluctant participants joined Maria sitting around the tablecloth. Milos was to her immediate left, followed by Avery, Cassandra, Nikolai, and finally Kyoya to her immediate right.

"First, of all," Maria began, "I need to remind you that we want as much positive energy as possible here in the circle. Negative energy will prevent us from making headway in contacting the spirit. So I'd like to ask that any staunch non-believers leave the circle now to-" everyone started to get up. "No, wait, wait! Sit down, amigos!" They did so. "Am I really the only one with any faith? Aye carrumba, I can just feel the doubt and skepticism radiating..."

Avery interrupted her moody rant. "The boys are here out of desperation, I'm here against my will, and Cassandra-"

"Wants to make sure Maria doesn't have a repeat of what happened_ last_ time she held a séance," Cassandra answered dryly.

Avery was pretty sure she didn't even want to know what that meant. "Well, regardless, Emillia was the only one who even remotely believed that this room could be haunted."

"Muy bueno!" she exclaimed, "So where is she? She has to be here to help cancel out some of this negativity."

The German girl gave an amused little laugh. "You want Emillia? Check the other side of campus. I think she believes a little _too_ much. You could not drag her in here if you tried."

"Great," Maria muttered. "I guess we will just have to make due then. I'll say a blessing." She started with the bowl of salt, picking it up and setting it directly in front of her. She closed her eyes and make the sign of the cross over it. "Exorcizo te, creatura salis, per Deum vivum, per Deum verum, per Deum sanctum: per Deum, qui te per Eliseum prophetam in aquam mitti jussit, ut sanaretur sterilitas aquae: ut efficiaris sal exorcizatum in salutem credentium: et sis omnibus sumentibus te anitas animae et corporis: et effugiat atque discedat a loco, in quo aspersum fureis, omnis phantasia, et nequitia, vel versutia diabolicae fraudis, omnisque spiritus immundus adjuratus per eum, qui venturus es judicare vivos et mortuous, et saeculum per ignem. Amen."

Avery glanced at Cassandra questioningly. Cassandra shrugged as if to say 'it's just her thing, I guess.'

Maria then picked up the water an prayed similar words over it while at the same time sprinkling small handfuls of salt into the water, mixing them together slowly. "Commixtio salis et aqaue pariter fiat in nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti. Amen." She flicked some of the salt water around the room, then took a handful of salt, stood up, and violently flung it through the air, spilling it everywhere.

"Dude, Maria," Nikolai said, "you do realize that we're gonna have to clean all that up, right?"

"Shh!" she hissed. She made a large sign of the cross and sat back down slowly, saying, "Graciously hear us, O holy Lord, Father almighty, everlasting God, and vouchsafe to the meek. Send Thy holy Angel from heaven, to guard, cherish, protect, visit and defend all who dwell in this house. By the Lord. Amen.

"Saint Michael, the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. We humbly pray, O prince of the heavenly host, that Satan and all the evil spirits who wander through the world for the ruin of souls, the power of God thrust into hell. Amen.

"Of our enemy, we beseech Thee, O Lord, the pride of Elis, and of them the power of Thy right hand down. Through the Lord. Amen!"

There was a few moments of silence. Maria gasped, then announced quickly and excitedly, "I think I'm getting something! Everyone hold hands."

She took a deep breath, concentrating hard on the flickering candles. She felt the presence, she was sure of it. Now all she had to do was get it to talk to her. "Hello? Hello? If there are any spirits listening, we greet you. We would appreciate it if you would honor us with your presence this evening. Please, if you could-"

_Ya'll can stop all the nonsense, I'm right here._

"Oh!" She looked up briefly. "Did else anyone hear that?"

_And people say _we're_ full of chain-rattlin'. You psychics really know how to pull out the theatrics. And no, I'm just talking to you. It only takes one to deliver a message._

Well. Maria blinked in shock. She'd been doing the whole psychic medium thing for a long time, but she'd never heard that one before. "Well, um, sí. I hear you." Stay on topic. "We are contacting you to kindly ask what the matter is. Why are you haunting this room and trying to scare its occupants?"

_I ain't._

She ignored that. "Is there anything we can do for you?"

_No._

"Are you unable to move on? Is that why you keep moving things around?"

_I said I ain't doin' nothin'._

"Are you angry with the people who live here? Do you feel like they're intruding on your territory?"

_Are ya even listen' to me? I could be playin' poker with the fellas right now, but no, I decided to humor you. And ya won't even pay attention! Young'uns today- no respect for yer elders!_

She looked up at everyone in the circle staring at her, Cassandra seeming to be the only one who didn't think Maria had just gone off the deep-end. "I, uh, I see..." _Aye, all right already!_ She mentally retorted to the spirit. _Keep your otherworldly pants on, chico! Now who are you, and what do you mean you're not doing any of this stuff?_

_I mean what I said, and you mind yer tone with me, missy! Name's Jasper, the Amiable Ghost._

_Haven't I heard that before somewhere...?_

_I been hauntin' this room on and off for longer'n you've been alive- I jump around a bit, but this one's always been my one in par-ticuler. I seen everythin' goes on 'round here. Must say, you've got yerself some mighty interestin' friends..._

_What do you mean 'interesting'?_

_Ain't my place to say. But anyhow, I stick around, see what goes down, but I ain't done none a that breakin' mirrors or writin' "Get Out" on the walls in years. It's silly, and I ain't got the time or patience for it._

"So you're saying you're unhappy, but we can help you. Okay, I understand." What? No one could hear him, so she had to say something out loud. But tell them what was really going on? No way. This was just too weird. _Sorry. So you mean you haven't been doing any of it? Not trashing the hallway, or moving things around- none of it?_

_It's what I've _been_ sayin'._

_But if you haunt this place, then you know who- or what- is, right?_

_Indeed I do._

_Great! So what is it?_

_Hmm... no. I don't think so. You tell those boys that they can figure it out on their own. _

_WHAT?! _

_I__'m a busy ghost, got places to be. Off to the bar now. Maybe I can still get in on that poker game.__Yer welcome for the info, by the way, missy. Oh, and if ya know what's good for ya, you _won't_ call back._

_What info? You haven't told me anything! Wait, don't go! _Silence_. Hello? Hello? ...That ghost just hung up on me! Dammit!_

Now what was Maria going to tell them? _The truth?_, her conscience supplied unhelpfully. Yeah, right! She promised the guys she'd get rid of a ghost, but now they were right back to square one! The truth? They couldn't handle the truth! Besides, they'd never believe the truth anyway. If Maria hadn't heard it herself, she'd think she was losing it.

"So," Cassandra ventured hesitantly, "What did it say?"

Maria quickly made a decision, and flashed her friends a bright, fake smile. "I took care of everything. The ghost had a little bit of a problem, but we were able to talk it over, and now he promises to stop messing with you."

"That's good to hear. But what exactly did it want?" Kyoya asked.

"Um... he didn't like... the lighting!"

"The lighting...?"

"Sí! He wants you to keep the blinds up halfway on Tuesdays. Oh, and he wants you to leave a tribute of macaroni and cheese on the window sill for him when it's served for dinner in the caf." Sounds legit.

"That's an odd request," Nikolai commented. "But I don't see why we can't comply, I guess, if that'll keep it happy."

"Right," she said, trying not to make it obvious that she was breathing a huge sigh of relief. "Just let me do one final blessing."

She brought out a salt shaker and dipped it in the bowl of blessed salt water, filling it completely. She screwed the lid on tightly and went around the room, shaking Holy Water generously over every surface.

"Ecce crucem Domine! Fugite partes adversae! Exorcizamus te, omnis immunde spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica! Ergo draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica, adjuramus te per Deum vivum, per Deum verum, per Deum sanctum, per Deum qui sic dilexit mundum, ut Filium suum unigenitum daret, ut omnes qui credit in eum non pereat, sed habeat vitam aeternam: cessa decipere humanas creaturas, eisque aeternae perditionis venenum propinare: desine Ecclesiae nocere, et ejus libertati laqueous injicere! Vade, satana, inventor et magister omnis fallaciae, hostis humanae salutis! Humiliare sub potenti manu Dei: contremisce et effuge, invocato a nobis sancto et terribilli nomine Jesu, quem inferi termunt, cui Virtutes et Potestates et Dominationes subjectae sunt: quem Cherubim et Seraphim indefensis vocibus laudant, dicentes: Sanctus, Sanctus, Sanctus Domins Deus Sabaoth."

Well, this was it. The room should be protected from... whatever the real problem was. She felt so guilty for this, but what else could she do? It pretty much went against everything she believed in as a medium. She was supposed to protect innocent people from this stuff, not lie about it. And she was _so_ pissed that she let a stupid ghost get her goat like that. Not okay!

"And my job here is done," she announced with a flourish, sending a spray of Holy Water careening across the room. Oh well. The more protection, the better. "I can guarantee you that the weird stuff that's been going on won't happen again!"

"Bre, if you say so..." Milos said skeptically. Oh, he believed in the power of the Lord, sure. But the power of Maria Sanchez, Psychic Wonder? Not so much.

"Come on Cassie, let's go! Buenas noches, amigos!" She was in way too big of a hurry to leave, and it probably showed, but she couldn't help it! She had to get out of this place with the weird poker-playing ghost and the apparently 'mighty interestin' (_whatever _that_ meant!_) people who lived there.

"Thank you so much for helping us, Maria," Kyoya said, getting the door for her and Cassandra, "It was very considerate of you."

She smiled nervously, but hoped it didn't look that way. "No problem. Just doing my job!"

The moment the door shut behind them, Maria heaved a breath.

"That wasn't a blessing you did at the end. It was an exorcism," Cassandra observed calmly, even though she was starting to get a bit worried. "Maria, what did the ghost really tell you? If there even was one to begin with." She'd known Maria had been lying the entire time, but wasn't about to call her out on it in front of people. If Maria felt the need to keep something from the others, then she probably had a pretty good reason for it.

Maria shook her head quickening her pace down the hall, and Cassandra easily kept up with her. "I don't know! It was... he didn't do it."

"Repeat please?"

"He didn't do it. The ghost."

"There really was a ghost."

"Sí, absolutely!"

"And he said that he didn't do it?"

"Right!"

She shot back, "Then who did?"

Maria threw up her hands, "I don't know! He wouldn't tell me!"

"Why not?"

"Because apparently I don't show enough respect for my elders!"

Cassandra stared at her. "Are you feeling all right?"

Maria gestured wildly in exasperation, "See, amiga! That's why I didn't want to tell them! It wouldn't do any good. At least this way they'll _think_ it's gone."

She tilted her head to one side, considering it. "It could wind up being a self-fulfilling prophesy," she conceded.

"Right." At least someone understood.

"Or it could end up being something really dangerous which violently murders them in their sleep and damns their souls to an eternity in the pits of Hell," she offered as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Don't say things like that!" Maria panicked.

"I'm just messing with you," she laughed, and Maria good-naturedly punched her in the shoulder for it. "We'll keep an eye on the situation, just in case. But I'm sure you did the right thing."

She nodded. "Of course. I'm sure I did too." She hoped.

**OoO**

**New head-cannon: Maria and Cassandra are hunters, like Sam and Dean on Supernatural. Yesssss. ;D**

**Now for the poll! In last week's poll, you were asked who you would trust to look after your spiffy pet goldfish, Figaro. Because a goldfish that swell can't be entrusted to just anyone. Oh golly gee, no. **

**The results: You'd trust Avery, with Clara in second place!**

**Now for the new poll. Don't worry, this one isn't quite as ridiculous~**

**All the characters are suddenly thrown into a Hunger Games/Battle Royale fight-to-the-death type situation. (Because who doesn't love a good fight to the death?) Who would be the best ally for your character (or your favorite character if you don't have one in the story)?**


End file.
